Baby #2?

[Spiket77]

I have seen this question on here before. I usually just get confused and don't respond. My son is turning 11 months in 4 days. I'm 34 and I'm on the fence about allowing for baby #2. I am not on birth control and I know you can get pregnant with just charting, but that is the only prevention I'm okay with at this point. For those women that have made the leap from 1 child to #2...what helped you make that decision? I'm not just concerned about child spacing. I'm concerned with having enough energy for 2, enough quality time with each child, enough time with my husband, enough sleep!!!!, enough time to work at night and keep the house from looking like a tornado (I know that isn't important but it keeps me sane to have a semi-clean home)....etc.

I want my son to have a sibling. I love having a sister and brother...and 2 step-brothers and a step-sister.

Please share with me your story. I need some inspiration.

[Keishelle]

I'm 35yrs old I have a 2yr old son & I'm currently 9weeks pregnant. Prior 2 getting pregnant the 1st time I swore by bc pills I had been on the same pill 15+yrs with no incidents or issues. I took my last pill March 2014 I was pregnant by April. After which I breastfed for over a yr so my cycle didn't return until April of 2016. Since that time I hadn't gotten on any bc because I wanted to keep the option open. We used to charting method & pulled out. I never had sex while ovulating until around Feb. I got pregnant 1st week n March. I too shared & still share all of the same anxieties you currently have but I didn't want my baby to be an only child if I can help it. I'm due in December again so my oldest will be making 3yrs right after the delivery of this one. I'll plan what I can & figure out the rest as I go. I am  thinking about my options for bc now because at 35 I'm done. this will be my last so I'm hoping it's a girl if not I'm glad to be a boy mom! You'll be fine!  

[lindisima828]

I have tried every type of bc out there and nothing worked. I have 3 babies under 2. Older two are 10 mos apart. I also have a 4 mos old and preg with my 7th. Last two will be 11 mos apart. I'm exausted and my house is rarely clean but my kids are angels. Its hard but worth it.

[Spiket77]

I really appreciate all of your responses. I need all of the insight I can get. For those of you that gone on to have 3, 4, 5...., I am in awe. I'm really struggling with this decision. My husband just took contract work out of town during the week for the next two months. So...I imagine that will keep us from getting pregnant and I will be basically a single parent for a little while. The weekends will be fantastic though!

[sorenr]

I had a 2 1/2 yr gap and am now goung to have a 5 1/2 yr gap, my eldest will be 8 when this baby is born. 2 1/2 yrs was fab, my son was at nursery so i had some time alone with my daughter and they are really close. I know they'll be delighted to have another sibling, but im aware they wont be as close, my son could be moving out when this baby is the age he is now! Im exhausted this time, i know i was tired before but i dont think it was this extreme (im 31 now) there is no such thing as a perfect gap or a perfect time to have an addition to the family. best of luck to you!

[mommybear0710]

I have a 4 year old daughter and a 23 month old daughter and am 18 weeks pregnant with a little boy. We enjoy them being close in age they play together and share toys, sometimes my house reminds me of a zoo but as long as you make them mind and pick up their toys its not bad. I have 3 brothers the oldest is 9 years older than me, then 6 years older than me and 9 years younger than me and we are not very close there is too much of an age gap and now the youngest is lonely and home all alone while the rest of us are married with kids so he feels like he doesn't fit in.

[Heatherm4]

I have a 13 month old and am 10 weeks pregnant. To be honest....having them this close together freaks me out and probably will for a while. I'm so tired and it's difficult with a teething, clingy child. It makes me very anxious to think that I will have 2 under the age of 2. I'm sure there are pro's and con's. It's nice that they will be close in age for the future and that we can just get over baby stuff all at once instead of hanging on to it all for so long.
I honestly thought that I wouldn't get pregnant as fast as I did because I wasn't on birth control for over a year before I got pregnant with my first.

[steph_ut]

I had many of the same feeling as you. I would speak with friends who had kids close together and they would not remember milestones, etc because their lives have been such a whirlwind. We waited until our daughter was 3 until was started trying and they will be 4 years apart (almost exactly!). By last spring, she was really ready for a sibling... she wants someone to share things with and I want the same for her as I have a sister. I spoke with a friend who has a brother who is 8 or 9 years older than her and said she didn't really like growing up as a "second only child" so we decided sooner was better than how long we had waited already. We are also limited by age as I am almost 34 and my husband is older - we don't want to be old parents who are confused to be our kids' grandparents!

The pros to this spacing, as I see it, are: she has been able to understand my nausea/lack of energy, is excited about a sibling (although I'm sure we'll have sharing issues later), and she's old enough to really be helpful. I expect to be able to experience each of their childhoods with them as fully as possible rather than them being lumped together. We will be paying for things like college for longer, but we won't have that huge crunch that is looming over our friends' heads. It also allows us to space out things like paying for soccer, dance, etc, and tuition if we decide to send them to private school.

The cons I see are: I don't expect them to be as close as the close-spaced siblings of our friends, and just as we're getting used to doing more adult things with her, we are going back to the newborn stage (do I remember how to diaper a baby?). We will play the juggling game of our older daughter wanting to do big girl stuff but also catering to the needs of the little baby whereas my friends with close-spaced friends don't really have to worry about that - for example, they just have playdates together while we won't have that convenience. Or, there's the in-between spacing too - my sister's kids are 2 years apart... they have a special bond similar to the very close-spaced kids I know that I don't think our kids will have and that makes me sad sometimes. I reassure myself it's ok since my sister is one of my best friends now and we are 3 years apart.

As others said, ultimately it's up to you. To be honest, I wasn't ready to be pregnant again or imagine having 2 kids until our daughter was 2. My friends with close-spaced kids have moved on to great exercise regimes, etc while I got back in to taking care of myself for few years and am now expanding again... they "have their bodies back" whereas I got mine back for a while and am embarking on another 2 years of not. However, I feel really ready for this pregnancy and don't feel too worried about "losing" my body for that time, as it seems my friends who have had kids close together have expressed to me.

[Morrisfamily2012]

My brother and his wife are 37 and 36 and they have a 1 yo, 5yo, and a 7yo. They manage just fine. She is happy and runs around with the kids. My brother on the other hand is always tired from work. :/

[Ashelen]

There's about a 20-month gap between each of mine, and yes it's hard and exhausting but my kids play together SO well.

It will be odd because my kids will all be a grade apart...like when my daughter is in 2nd, my first son will be in first grade and my youngest will be in kindergarten...but for now my oldest two (my youngest is due in april) really enjoy playing together because they're close in age and interested in a lot of the same things.

only your heart will tell you what gap is right..but I found that the 2nd was DEFINITELY easier. not sure about the 3rd yet, lol. And you find all the love and attention somehow...it just comes naturally. I thought my daughter would be jealous because she was SUCH a spoiled princess but she LOVED having a brother. not sure how she'll feel about 2 brothers, but I think she'll love it. she's already very interested in "the baby in mama's tummy" :-). (btw my oldest is 3, my middle is 1, and my youngest is due in April like I said).

[hjgrow]

My boys are 18 months apart and yes it was a hard couple of years but I wouldn't change it for anything. They are 6 and 7 now and the best of buds. They play with each other really well.

[Linzola1]

My first two were jay a month shy of 3 year apart and I lved that gap. My third son is only being to be less than a year from my second. It's really hard to say what's the best gap but just go with what you feel.

[mummy_kim]

hi, there is no right time for another baby just gotta go with what feels right for u I have a 5 yr old a 3yr old and im expecting baby number 3 ( 5 weeks preg) my two absolutly adore each other...time isnt an issue we all play together, I honestly think it gets easier the 2nd time around kinda more prepared xxx

[kfrasher]

Hi! I'm prego with #4.. due on July14..my first three girls are all 2 1/2 yrs apart..my youngest n this one now will b 3 yrs 3 mths apart..I personally like the spacing of each one..we get quality time together, n they are always the baby for awhile..but I also have to say I'm also 34 so I was able to wait in  between..you  may want to have them closer so your not still having babies when your 40!!??(nobody take that wrong,I know there are plenty of moms having babies later in life I just choose not to!!)