My baby? His baby? OUR baby!

[B1128]

Depends who you ask. I'm pretty sure if anyone were to ask his family they'd all say the baby is his and I'm just carrying it. They'd probably tell you he'd be way better at doing so if only he could be the one too. For a moment that is supposed to be ours, they're pretty fkn good at making it his and me a fkn bystander.

"Oh my son this" "oh my son that" "everyone loved the way YOU did the babies room!" "You're so talented! I don't know how you did it!" "I got so many comments when I posted the picture of the babies room, I put "my son has amazed me yet again, he's finished the babies room"

No b.itch. We finished the babies room, in fact I spent majority of the time doing it by MYSELF!!!! Like wtf. I'm chopped fkn liver. Absolutely sick of not being acknowledged. Sick of being nothing to these fkn people. Sick of all of it!! Sick of these people. I wish she couldn't fkn make it and stay for a week. So fkn over it all.

My family is so big on everything being "us" and involving us! His family is all about him and ignoring me and treating me like I'm fkn nothing. Fkn sick of them all.

[Jfitz111790]

I'd tell her before she comes out that it's your house yours and your bfs baby and if she can't accept that then she isn't welcome. If she really wants to be in the baby's life she will accept you as the mother and girlfriend. If your bf doesn't tell her, then you need to tell her, maybe you need to get on her level like the movie monster in law! Any time she comments something that says his baby comment something like we finished the baby's room, didn't we do a great job. I hope our baby likes it. And eventually she'll catch on if not, hopefully it will give you some pleasure to correct her and people will start to notice.

[B1128]

I cry all the time lmfao, and did before due to my anxiety. So it's just another thing to him "/ when we first got together I wasn't passive, but I have become very passive due to how he is. He grew up with his parents and family always fighting both verbally and physically, he doesn't like conflict and I guess overtime he has molded me into a passive person, as I have allowed for it to happen and I've gotten anxiety from it as well which makes it harder then it should be.

I just know I need to complain and know that I'm not being ridiculous and this forum helps me trimendously with all of you commenting and reassuring me. I know I may eventually say something, eventually. But I know I can do my best to suck it up for a week while she is here, as she's not always around or being a big part of anything since she lives in Florida thank god, but I can try to suck it up for both my boyfriend and my daughter. Atleast for the time being. I will have my say one day, and it will be heard.

I'm just thankful she doesn't live here! And hoping my anxiety will allow me to breathe when she is.

[jillio11]

Hopefully the saying a baby changes things comes true in your case. As for me, I'm very demanding and well- my husband knows me better that I mean buisness if I had to cry to prove my point. It's been once that he saw me cry and he didn't know what to do- lol. This time he knew exactly what to do and I'm glad he stepped up and said something. Girl! I was ready to exclude him form the birth certificate if he sided with his ridiculous family. I guess you are more passive :). I guess hang in there, but sometimes tough love to our men makes a point ;)

[B1128]

We went to Florida in January, and I was there for two weeks with my family before we went back due to him having a big concrete job. As far as traveling now together is not an option due to him starting a good new job. Which I don't even need to go there really. My mom will be here the first week after the baby (she lol) arrives and then his mom will be here for a week after mine.

I don't know. I feel helpless in the situation with her because she is a b.itch and thinks it's cute to be that way and intimidating and my boyfriend is a mommas boy. I used to be jealous of the way she loved him, used to wish my parents loved me the way she does him. But now I just find it annoying and she does it on purpose. Not because she loves him, but to push me to the side and to seem like this amazing person. Wtfever. Which is why her daughter lives with her and feels second best and completely unloved because of how she treats/talks to and about my boyfriend. The way she loves is not to be jealous of, her love is selfish and one sided. But she "never" does wrong, she's soooo perfect o.O

Fkn a guys. Fkn a. I wish his sister would come with her. It would be so much easier and nicer for me. I just don't know what to expect... I know I don't want to be stuck and alone with her all day long! Ugh...

[jillio11]

I meant to put son/daughter...

[jillio11]

Its not being a *****! It's called standing up for what is right. I think a nice flordia trip sounds good. My family is like yours excited for both of us and include him in everything. Look at it this way, babies feel everything! Your emotions are your babies too. When he's born he'll sense all the tension, it's not healthy. You have to show your boyfriend you deserve to be treated with respect as his lady and as the mother of his son and of anything he should be fighting for that from his family. It's hard to picture life without them in our lives, bit let me tell you something- life will be a lot harder to live with constant anger/resentment build up. I kicked my husband out in my first trimester for something similiar, how mom is a piece of work but I willaloow myself to be put in second place. It was hard to imagine doing it all by myself,but I did for a couple of months and he realized I'm his priority. Which now it's the grandmother acting up. Since we were dating they have never liked me, (many factors in our relationship) all I can say, standing up for yourself and the right to be respected isn't being a *****.  

[livibee]

Then she doesn't get to see her grandchild. Plain And simple. Your boyfriend should have your back on this. You are the mother of this child. And in my opinion, us women are incredible for doing all we do and growing a life inside of us. Don't listen to her. My boyfriends mom is a control freak and I would have absolutely no problem standing up to her. But she actually talks to me more than she does my boyfriend.
But if she tried to put her say into the things I do as a parent, I would lose it.
When I first got pregnant she told me not to get an epidural. Wtf? But she had one with both of her pregnancies. Just stuff like that.
But the point is, I can totally feel your frustration for you. And no matter what, whether your boyfriend gets pissed off or not, you need to confront him. You are the mother. You are the one doing all the work. Obviously she knows that, that's why she's such a controlling b. So screw it.
Good luck. You don't need this stress hun.

[B1128]

I just don't want to become that person... I mean, is that really considered standing up for myself or is it considered just being a b.i.t.c.h and using my baby now that I have her? Even if it's not... They will all make it out to be that way, they will make it sound like that. I just don't want to be a bad person, I feel they have no reason to mistreat me, and I don't want to give them a reason too.. And honestly, my boyfriend wouldn't go for it. When it comes to his dad I'm treating that situation totally different and he will not be welcome here unless my boyfriend is here and will be asked to leave if he shows up, but he also lives here in Kentucky, and my boyfriend views his father totally different then his mother.

I just want to be treated like I'm something. I just want to be acknowledged..

Anytime I used to feel some type of way about things, I would always get the "it could be worse" comments from her. Yes it could be, yes he could be. But why don't I deserve the same thing to be said about me?! Instead she dislikes me because I haven't had a job, and I made a stupid smug comment months and months ago and she's held a grudge even after I apologized and admitted my wrong. I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person. I'm good to her son, I've never done anything to hurt our relationship and I love him more then anything. Why isn't that all that matters. They make me feel so bad about myself.

[Hahn6]

You have the final say so, its your house your baby. And if she doesn't like it oh fkn well. You can tell her not to come, or if your husband doesn't agree with it tell him that you will be visiting Florida for awhile. You do have some say so on who is around you and your baby

[got2luvmel]

Well, it sounds to me like you'll have to step up for yourself with her because he's definitely not going to do it. When you've had enough you'll likely go off on both of them.

[misstoyo]

I was with my ex for 4 years before baby and his mom never liked me but once I was pregnant it was worse, she did the same thing. His baby, his son, even going as far as saying "our son" refering to her and my ex. Not in a creepy way but like I did not need to exist. I told him I was done with it and he needs to grow up and stand up for me and our son... Never happened and thats part of the reason he is my ex.

[B1128]

But see the thing is, is when she's here she's here. We live in Kentucky together and his family and mine all live in Florida. So after the baby comes she will be here for a whole long fkn week. And I can't say anything to her, I can't say anything to him and expect him to say anything to her without it being a major problem and her telling him "it's a in my head" when it's not and it hasn't been. How is it that he hasn't noticed such a change and I have? And when I've brought it up, either I am over reacting and there's nothing wrong, or it's my fault because I don't call her or talk to her! I've told him before "she doesn't call me, she doesn't talk to me! She doesn't go out of her way! It goes BOTH ways!" And I'm the one who is wrong? It's so frustrating to me.. I'm really hoping the baby will come soon and when she is here my boyfriend is on second shift 5-245am and I don't have to be here all by myself with her during the day! I just can't even at this point. She's going to be so fake as she was when we were visiting and I fkn can't stand it. She's going to push s.h.i.t on me about his dad when he's the one who is disrespectful to me! I'm just tired of them all.

My family is so different and I just wish they would treat me like I'm something. Like a fkn human being.

[jillio11]

I'm sorry you are going through this and know the feeling all to well. My husbands grandmother went as far to say I trapped my husband, lady! We were married 7 months before I got pregnant! Ugh! At least your in-laws love your baby. This lady over here considers my soon a mistake already. Anyhow,mmy husband blew up on me the first times I brought up the subject and like you, it just made it worse. Last week I finally sat down with him over dinner and very calmly I started crying and I told him how much it hurts that his grandmother reacts that way and that if she's going to be in that mind frame she can't be part of the babies life. He starred at me for a while and said fine, if that's how you feel. The following day I found out he talked to the lady and put her in her place. Now I don't know how it would work out for you but it seems you are like me hormonal and aggravated and tired of vs which makes us not sane in our husbands eyes. I had to put my pride aside and show my husband I was hurt not mad, for him to get what it was doing to me. He's only see me cry in the 3 yrs we have been together so when he saw me cry over this he finally understood. I hope it gets better for the babies sake and yours. Good luck lady.

[got2luvmel]

IA with Elizabeth. Unfortunately, my sister has to deal with this same thing. But, not when we were around to put his family in their place. You chose to be with him and deal with him, not his family. Let your family handle that stress. What can they say when your relative goes off? Nothing. You are not your family. You can't control them taking up for you...not that you'd want to lol

[Elizabethand2]

Baby girl what you need to do is have your family over when she's there so they can give her some tips on how to talk better and it don't matter if she feels any type of way at the end of it all is your baby your home your family she can't say a damn thing about it.

[B1128]

I haven't said anything, I don't feel that I can after the first time I said something and he blew it up and it looked worse on me after and she thought I was starting s.h.i.t and I wasn't. I just am sick of being a nobody to these people!! Next weekend it will be 3years that we have been together, and she's just started treating me like this during my pregnancy. Like wtf. I have never done anything to them, and because she's nosey as fck she thinks she has a reason not to like me.

I am none of their business and neither is my relationship. I wish they'd fkn get it. Ignorant as fck.

[Hahn6]

Damn girl, and why Dont you like her again. I'm just joking. Have you talked to him about the comments that she makes and how it makes you feel, and if he doesn't say something to her about it then she can't be around you guys child point blank period