Needy Sister/Sibling?

[buttercuppy3]

I'm 24, a first time mum who is planning a June wedding, in grad school taking 2 classes (one of which is my dissertation) & preparing for my Aug baby. My sister just turned 20 a few days ago & we are very close. She feels like I didn't care enoigh about her birthday as I would usually be out at the club with her, going out doing stuff and this year I bought her a bottle of Jack, a birthday cake & took her out to brunch. I feel like she's having a hard time with all this change because I now have a fiancée & baby who are my priorities & I don't know how to appease her without feeling like a bad sister. I am always the first person she calls or can call & nowadays I'm busy writing btwn throwing up still at 22w6d pregnant & taking care of my fiancee who is the sole provider at the moment. I feel like she feels like she is competing for my attention & not getting it :( Advice please. Aside from telling her to get over it how do I help her grow up and get used to the changes.

[Candace2016]

My suggestion would be to try to involve her with some of the wedding planning and preparing for baby. Also set aside a day every week to every other week where only the two of you go out and don't mention anything about the baby,wedding or fiancee and just enjoy that day as sister time. Just a thought. Good luck and congrats on all the special events going on in your life this year =)

[buttercuppy3]

She's actually planning my baby shower and my maid of honor. She's a literal gem! But I think your most important suggestion was to focus on her more when we spend time together. That's a great udea esp. Cos she's already so involved in my life, I want to show her i care just as much abt hers.

[leviblack]

My sister and I r also close we went thur this also. It's hard. Just sit her down and explain it to her even then she'll still b up set but in the long run she will understand. My sister and I set aside time that will be just for us. She also comes over we do each other's hair things like that.

[buttercuppy3]

That's a great idea! I'm definitely going to make more one on one time for just the both of us :)

[3237]

I get it. My sister is only 17 months younger then me and was a little jealous when I was pregnant. Not jealous cause I was pregnant just put out cause my priorities had changed. Just be patient with her. Your sister will fall in love with the baby and will probably be a great help to you, just give her time. No need to feel like a bad sister, when baby comes along it will have to come before everybody else not just your sister.  Just keep communication open and its not your fault you' have taken different paths in life at this time. It happens among siblings Just tell her how your feeling, tell her you feel bad but that's the way it will be for a while. Clubbing days are over just for a while. Get her to call when your fiancé is out working, include when choosing baby stuff. Just give it time.

[buttercuppy3]

I'm so glad you understand hoe important it is for me to refocus my priorities because that's my guilt. But you're right, I was ready to start my family. I will try to call her more and see her esp. If my fiancée is working.

[lkaykirk]

She will eventually understand. My husbands siblings are the same way and we have been married for 4 years and 4 1/2 months with our second. It just takes time to adjust. Try and include her in the planes and it might ease the adjustment.