Single mum?

[Marit_Ellen]

Hello, I am unexpectedly pregnant - my doctors always told me I couldn't have children. It took some getting used to the idea but now I am excited and happy. I am 16 weeks in.

The issue is my boyfriend who doesn't want any children. He thinks we are too old (37 and 45) and babies will ruin his lifestyle.
He gets cranky every time I talk about the baby. It is really hard not being able to share the joy with him.
We are now considering whether we want to stay together. Of course the idea of becoming a single mum is not appealing, but neither is an angry partner who just makes me feel guilty.

Does anyone have similar experiences or advice?

[RockRose]

This might be a wait-and-see situation.    It's almost cliche,  the thought of a man who doesn't want to be a dad and gets angry when he finds out he's going to be one,  and then turns around completely and is a great father.  

I think probably you should stop talking about the baby for a month or so.  Just be a couple,  and when you are further pregnant work through this.

I agree,  you don't want an angry partner when you're raising a child. If he doesn't come around to the thought of being a dad,  you're better off alone.

Best wishes,  and congratulations!

[Marit_Ellen]

Thank you Rose. I hope it will be like that. Fingers crossed.
He did tell me today that he loves me and doesn't want to give that up. So there's definitely hope

[hkjen]

For what it's worth my cousin spilt with the father of her eldest son.  3 years later she met a guy at work and they've been together ever since (15 years now). They're the sweetest couple I've ever met and she's so happy.  I wouldn't want to be a single mum either, but it would be better than being in an unhappy relationship with a guy who resented his own child.  

[Estrelol]

I'm pregnant and single too. I found out rather late because the first test was negative. I was devastated since the chances were really low. After weeks of thought I decided to let nature take its course and welcome life. The father doesn't want another child, so he's sort of treating me as the devil who made his life horrible ever since. I'm lacking alot of support, also from my family, and that's the hardest part really.  I cry almost every day because I'm so scared and feel so alone. My parents cannot really show support. My dad is against it, and my mum is ill. I have one good friend who helps out when she can, but she's very busy with her family and job.  

I do not regret my decision however. And I'm positive that this will be a positive life change for me.

My point being: take your own road here, so you can be confident and at peace with your choice. Good luck!

[lucie27]

My partner and I was happy with one child. I wanted one in the future he didn't. I became pregnant and he did not want to even acknowledge it. When I gave him the twelve week scan he just laughed and swore. Gave him my next scan photos for 16 weeks he said he wasn't interested but I saw him looking through them later when he thought I was in bed. I'm now 18.4 weeks and he will now talk about her when I start a conversation with him. I have tried to not force it upon him and it seems to be working. Like you I was supposed to be unable to have children due to pcos but it happened and I tell him it was just as much his doing as it was mine and to stop being mean.  

[Marit_Ellen]

Thanks Lucie,
Others are also advising to wait and see whether he will come around. I'll drag him to the 20 week scan. Seeing my fetus on a screen sure changed my perception. I am hopeful

[kimmi1234]

I was only a single parent for 6 months. It was tough but the trick is routine. I thoroughly enjoyed the time alone with my daughter and was worth all the sleepless nights