i'm so mad at my x and just cant believe him! i am talking bout my 3year old daughters so called dad.... he has barely been in her life since Oct when i stopped letter her go for his visitation because i found out bout a meth charge.. i never said that he couldn't see her just that i wasn't letting her go UNLESS he takes a drug test. he would always refuse but he did come see her for a while but it slowly then quickly stopped... by Dec, he stopped coming to see her and didn't even ask.. he did call and say that his mom wanted to talk to me bout having her for christmas.. i decided to let her go with the gramma and grandpa, even though he would be there...by Jan he completely stopped all contact bout seeing her. didn't even try.. he contacted me towards the end of Jan wanted to claim her in taxes! he had the nerve to contact me bout money but NOT bout seeing her.. then he says yes i would like to see her and said he was going to come next day.. then couldn't come.. so it was going to be the next day.. then nothing again..
a week or 2 laters, we were at the Dollar Store and he shows up with his gf to pick up her son.. he didn't even bother to get outta the car on his own. i saw him and made hand guesters. i just couldn't believe it. he finally did get out of his car with attitude then its like no dont even bother...
he did come see her a week before her birthday(feb27) then i let her go to her aunt's his sister's because they said that he wasn't allowed there.. big mistake on my part because he showed up there both days. the night she went and the next day for her party.. this didn't make me happy that i was lied too and because it causes problems with her after she sees him.. doesn't sleep good ect.. and because he had only seen her maybe 7 minutes since the end of dec-not including him coming over just before her birthday..
now we're getting to why i'm really mad now..
march 14 he texted and asks to see her. we had plans so i said no but can tomorrow. the next day i had totally forgot we had plans so i texted him that we had plans.. he texted me on saturday morning and wanted to come see her or see her on sunday. and that he wanted to start taking her again because his cases are over in court and only ended up with 18 months probation.(there was lots more charges than i mentioned) he seems to think that now that it's over he's going to start taking her again. i told him only if hes drug tested.. i know how he worked on probation so i really dont care if he is on it or not.. but i said that he could come over sunday morning and walk to the school and take her sledding that i would let him know when we were home in the morning..he said that was fine and would be here. i texted him sunday morning and NEVER heard from him!!! i was soo mad because i actually told my daughter he was coming something i never did because you never know if he's actually going to show up or not..
now today a week later i get a text saying that he wants her on Sunday's again and would like to start seeing her during the week regularly!! are you kidding me????!!!!! he couldn't show up last week but has the balls to text me now??!!
i do not believe it's in my daughter's best interest to just start sending her again specially when he would never show up when he said he would the last 6 months.. i need to add that i was texting him ALL the time to come and see her and i would never get an answer... i think if hes going to start coming back into her life he needs to actually show he's going to show up and start by slowly coming..
i can not get ahold of him unless he textes me from a stupid internet number because no one will give me his real number.. or says he doesn't have a phone.. which is a lie.. i told him last week i would be blocking that internet number and if he wants to get ahold of me to use a real phone that i can contact him on too.... so i will not be replying to his message..
oh i do not trust my x or his gf. last year my daughter was coming home with big bruises a hand print bruise and black eyes that my x could not explain. also come home stinking like smoke!!. it didn't matter what i did or told no one would do anything!
he only has visitation on Sundays from 9am-5pm... so those bruises would happen during that time..
Soooo he is on drugs. He clearly doesnt even worry about his well being so why would he care about someone elses, even if its his child. Of course he contacted you when there is money involved he is on drugs. He isnt healthy for your childs life and probably wants to see her during his times of clarity.
Why don't you take him to court and get his rights taken away? I hope you documented everything... I believe all kids deserve to have both parents in their lives except when its stuff like this its in the best interest of the child not to its more devastating to the child to be exposed to behavior like that
If his rights as taken away here he does not have to pay child support. And I can't afford to not have that money specially with another baby on the way. Just can't believe he had the nerve to tell me he wants her when could even show up last Sunday which would have been his day.
Yes I write down everything. Take pictures of all texts messages I send him and get from him. I have pictures of her bruises. I'm ready for him to take me back to court but I don't really want to take him because I would have to pay and the chance of my child support going down or to none at all since she hasn't worked in a year. So he gets unemployment. He never even tried to get a job and probably couldn't because he couldn't pass drug test.
I have talked with his PO officer and she says that if I hear anything or have a feeling he's using I can call and she will test him. He was on for a week and I had already heard or seen 2 violations against it..
Oh and bout the taxes he did claim her and received money but since we lived with my mom for half of last year she claimed us and got rejected so we had to send in all the info stating he has no rights only visitation that he hasn't really seen her in the last 6 months and our county records for assistance showing dates we lived with my mom.. Needless they granted her the money for my daughter so HOPING he actually gets in trouble but doubt it..
I'm sorry about your ex. My brother is a meth addict and my 2 year old gas the same problems after seeing him. (Diesnt sleep fussy doesn't really wanna eat) its like the method transfers through the pores. Try to keep your sweet girl away unless he wants to take you too court then obviously drugs are more important
Even if I would loose the money from him I would be still taking him to court and get his rights taken away. Ur first priority is ur child and even if u have to move to a cheaper place or with ur mom then ur child would benefit better in the long run. I wouldn't want someone like that in my kids lives and no amount of money would change that. I know things are hard for you and im Srry your going through this but some guys just weren't made to be dads which is a shame. I hope things work out good luck
Since we were never married he really doesn't have any rights until the courts say otherwise.. And the judge didnt say anything only that he gets visitation on Sundays when he wants to. Doesn't have to. Our order is only a temp order. We were sent to mediation but he never showed up.
My monthly income is only $1100 a month straight. No more no less- unless I don't get full amount in child support. He pays $424 month.
After not showing up last Sunday. he texted again this past Sunday. I did not reply... Today we talked some through text. He tried claiming that he didnt receive my messages except that I was blocking number. Ha yeah right.. And I finally got his real number which I had for a while but...
k I met my x today at subway so he could see my daughter and talk bout him coming to see her. He brought with his gf's kid which I really didnt think was right but whatever.. Anyways we sat down for maybe 3 minutes before asking to have her Saturday or Sunday for Easter. Told him we would have plans and be outta town.. He then raised his voice at me. And started a scene. Saying he's going to show up with cops- go for it. He has no paperwork plus judge never signed our custody order. But x don't know that.. I was perfectly claim.. My daughter who was sitting next to me became setback??? Didnt really move quit talking or playing and eating... After bout 5 minutes all together of me being calm and him having people stare. He threw his sub together and packed it up. I had to get up and move so he could say bye to my daughter. She didnt want anything to do with him.. He hugged and kissed her- blah blah then as standing up straight from a bend he pushed shoved the chair I was sitting in, towards my daughter. The chair hit my daughters chair hard enough to point where her chair moved... This did not make me happy!! When he started raising his voice at me you could see her getting scared and kinda mad.. The chair thing did make her mad.. She didnt come outta the whole set back thing until he was gone and we were in car.. We left couple minutes after he did- people in the line were staring and I wanted to cry..
This happened with only one couple in line from the time they started their order and my daughter and i walked out before they were completely done..
Should I call and make a report?? Just to have it reported??? He scared my daughter and is probably coming down well a couple week maybe of being on drugs since he's on Probation now...
I'm going to have to say cut him completely off.
I'm not sure after reading all this even the advice your looking for hun
You describe him as unfit and seem to not want him in her life.
The best thing is for him not to be.
I understand your frustration.
But your child's well being needs to come first. Child support or not.
I live very tight I understand. And I'm about to have a family of five.
I couldn't imagine dealing with the stress of what your going threw. And you seem very torn.
But your the only one who can put your foot down and end this.
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