family issues

[distortedmind89]

The father of my baby is my ex, we are still undecided as to whether we will get back together or not. Due to our past relationship which was abusive etc it wouldn't be a good idea for my baby in all honesty, even though the last year he has changed his behaviour whilst we have split up.

Due to his previous behaviour my family cannot stand him, to the point they disowned me just over a year ago as I decided to try again.

Even now my father barely speaks to me, I haven't told him I am pregnant yet and part of me doesn't want to as in all honesty the last few years he hasn't been in my life, and I think once I tell him he will be a grandad he will still decide to stay out my life?!

Part of me wants to tell him as he is family, I told my Granny on his side and she said she wouldn't tell him but I need to soon. She wasn't impressed either basically saying you can't blame the child for who the father is. But they will need to accept my ex in my life now. They don't want to hear how he has changed.

It makes me laugh as my father was abusive towards me and my mother when they were married, and changed so why can't my family accept that my ex has changed?!

I ain't sure whether this is a vent, or a need advice post tbh but any comments back would be amazing

[distortedmind89]

he has changed for the better I know that. He has not once since the last incident laid a hand on me or raised his voice to the point it scares me. although I am being weary this could be because we aren't together. I am making sure this baby has a safe environment though. Yeah I hated my father also, but a few years ago I gave him another shot at being a father but obv didn't work. I am only 8 Weeks so it's still early days in all honesty. Trying not to let the situation get to me so it don't affect baby.

[Ashdub07]

Be careful with the "I've changed" crap. My husband has never beat me per se but he would like push me against the wall and he slapped me in the face a couple times. He "changed" but the other night the kids were asleep he was drunk as hell and bowed up like he was gonna hit me so I slapped him and told him to back off and he put me in a choke hold and slammed me to the ground and stood over me with his hand on my throat then was like oh **** and walked away... Best believe i came up and jumped on his back like a howler monkey. Hell no. I know when he drinks liquor he gets like that and this was the first time in over a year he has drank hard liquor cuz his stupid *** friends offer it to him rrrrr

[maybaby2013]

That sounds like a hard place to be in. Do u believe he has changed and wldnt go bak to how he was? An abusive relationship is never good to bring up a baby, my dad was abusive to my mum wen i was little and she finaly kicked him out wen i was 2. It was defo for th best that he went. I dnt speak to him bcos i will never forgive him. He will never no my son and will never be his granda. Ur parents will come round as soon as they see ur baby. How far along are u? Dont stress about tellin them bcos its not good for u and baby. I hope it works out for u and for u and ur babys sake i really hope hes changed for th better. x