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formula vs breast feed baby vent

With baby #1 my milk barely came in so I switched to formula feeding. When number #2 came along I planned on breast feeding at the hospital only, but once again my milk just wasn't coming and the Dr came talking about how he was losing weight. So I switched to formula feeding before we even left the hospital. Now with #3 I'm in another state that even has billboards to promote breast feeding. WIC was not happy when I said I planned on formula feeding and tried to tell that I really should breast feed exclusively for 6 months. I'm due in December and the WIC nutritionist is already pushing me to do something I don't want to do. I asked my midwife (that's all I see right now) if I needed to bring my own bottles and formula (seeing how it's a different hospital then before) and she wasn't happy either. She told me that they don't like to let people know they have it but they won't make the baby starve. I have nothing against mom's who breast feed, in fact more power to them. I just want to know why do so many feel it's wrong? It's not like the baby isn't getting the nutrients it needs. I'm just tired of people bashing mom's for formula feeding or for beast feeding. Why not mind our own business and let the parents do what they feel is best. Sorry it's so long.  
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Avatar universal
Breastfeeding is hard! With my now almost 2 year old, I had to do what they called triple feeding because I didn't make enough milk either. I would breastfeed him, then pump, then bottle feed him what I pumped, then give him formula. In addition, I did all the supplements to try and increase my supply. It was so exhausting! I wanted to give up so much, but felt guilty for all the reasons you've talked about. I cried a lot. It was awful. Not to mention, I got mastitis twice! After almost a month and a half of this and feeling absolutely exhausted, I decided to stop triple feeding and exclusively breastfeed and see how my baby did. I guess I got lucky cause by that point I was finally making enough milk and baby did great. We ended up exclusively breastfeeding for the next 15 months.
My point is, I have so much sympathy for women who try to breastfeed and are not able. It is very hard work and in some ways I can say it was worth it, but in others that first month and a half was miserable and I wish I could have spent it enjoying my baby instead. Best of luck to you and the decision you make.
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Avatar universal
Dasart13 I was only at the hospital for about 24 hrs by that point. Once I started giving him formula he was far less fussy and started sleeping like he should have. Once we got home a couple weeks latter I tried again when I felt like my milk came in, no luck. I try pumping, it was tight times and didn't even have the extra money to rent a pump from WIC.

Your comment didn't come off at all like bashing, but trying to be supportive and encouraging. Which is what I wish the breast is best along with I'm right your wrong mindset would do. Breast is not best, what is best is making sure your baby is getting the nutrients they need. I wish more parents (because dad's do it too) would take care of their own kids and not worry or bash another parent for doing it differently then them. We don't always know the story of why, we just see. I don't want to see breast feeding mom getting bashed for doing what they feel is right and I don't want to get bashed for doing what I feel is right.
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Avatar universal
First, let me state that with my first I tried to breastfeed and failed due to all sorts of reasonings. I do intend to try with this one, and really hope to get better redults. But if not, I will clearly be supplementing with formula until I completely admit that it is not working out.

2nd) how long was your stay in the hospital after the birth of your second? Bc babies lose some weight within the first week of birth and then start gaining again once they get into somewhat of a feeding schedule. So I'm hoping the dr wasn't an idiot and discouraged you from breastfeeding when you and baby may have just not had enough time to adjust.

3rd) did you just breastfeed exclusively? Or did you pump between/after feedings to help encourage your supply? Also, did you try skin to skin, or fenugreek tablets, or mothers milk tea?

These are all just legitimate questions JUST IN CASE you want to try this time around. Maybe even a little.

No bashing, bc clearly you've already stated that you will formula feed and not let the baby starve and that is the important thing here.
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Avatar universal
I recommend the similac advanced with the blue lid.
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Avatar universal
The only two draw backs I have found is it doesn't have the antibodies like breast milk and it can sometimes be harder for the baby to digest. So yes it is 99.9% the same, it has all the same nutritional value as breast milk. And the facts that are being stated are bais towards breast feeding, cherry picking the facts to suit your needs. I have read a couple different articles about formula and how it is 99.9% the same as breast milk.
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Avatar universal
I'm 100% happy for you to breastfeed or bottle feed. It's not 'bashing' for people to state facts backed up by research. It's bashing if they tell you that you then have to do it. Formula is not 99.9% the same as breast milk, and it doesn't carry nearly as many health benefits. I'm not bashing, just stating research results. The hospital has a responsibility to give you these facts first (if they're a good hospital that values education and empowering women). If they told everyone there was no difference they would be giving out false information.

Once you've made your decision though, it's then their responsibility to support you 100% (if they're a good hospital that values empowering women). Hopefully they come around and start to help you with your choice.
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Avatar universal
Soon2bemotherof2 thank you and I wish you the best of luck too. And that's all my vent was really about, that the bashing of mom (and dad's) need to stop and just be supportive of each other. Isn't that what this app is about, supporting each other.
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Avatar universal
I breastfed my first and I plan on doing so with my second. It is a personal decision in my opinion I would never look down on a mother that chose to formula feed either by past experience or just simply not wanting to do it! It's hard enough to raise your kids without everyone putting their two cents in! At the end of the day you are doing your best for your child by keeping them healthy in one way or another! Good luck with your little one, I wish you the best!!
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Avatar universal
Notictacforu exactly, us formula feeding moms are supportive of all breast feeding moms. It's the beast is best, I'm right your wrong ones are doing the bashing. I have received support from some moms who are breast feeding and understand that some can't or have issues with doing it themselves. I am a c-section mommy (about do it again for the third time) but I don't bash the moms who do it all natural or have a vaginal birth. I also don't advocate that everyone should do it. I would love to have a vbac, unfortunately I don't know when I'm in labor due to high pain tolerance. So I don't feel them like I should. My cousin's wife did a vbac when they told her she had an 80% chance of having to have another c-section after labor began. Another cousin she did an unmedicated birth. We were all supportive of each. I give my personal experience of had two c-sections already, which are wildly different then even some vaginal birth's. Again I have a high pain tolerance, I also have a low tolerance for pain pills and always end up with extra pain pills then what I personally need.
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Avatar universal
I asked a similar question on here too... Then all the formula bashing mom's came out to say how breastfeeding is better.   I'm sick of it too.  I don't feel bad about formula feeding, but I'm sick of other moms always trying to make us feel guilty. We should all be supporting each other no matter what we choose for our child.
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Avatar universal
If you had bothered to read all of my rant, I stated that my past two pregnancy I was unable to produce adequate milk to feed my sons. I tried with both, so don't think I don't WANT to breast feed my babies. And I was not talking about WIC or the midwife bashing me, I said they were trying to force me to and didn't like my choice.
The bashing comes from the moms like you. Formula is consistently improving and is d**n near close to breast milk. I wish it would just stop. I only meant to vent not have breast feeding moms get their panties in a wad because I am making an informed decision based on my past two experiences. I don't sit here and say it's gross or get a cover, to be honest I wouldn't want to wear a cover while I eat so a baby shouldn't either while they are nursing. So if I can be so open and not care why are you breast is beast moms not actually reading my entire post before commenting? You are just jumping to the "I'm right your wrong" mentality without actually thinking she knows her body and obviously cares deeply for her children that she's making sure they are getting feed. Would I like to breast feed hell yes, but I'm I able to produce breast milk unfortunately no. You went off on your rant with out actually reading mine.
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Avatar universal
Wic should also not try and force anything on you. Breast feeding may be better but for people like me it's disgusting.  Hats off to the moms that can do it and want to. But doesn't mean everyone else should be forced or constantly being nagged about either
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Avatar universal
Hi ladies, just thought I'd chime in. I understand your frustration with being told over and over again that breast feeding is better than formula, even though you know that your milk production is probably very limited. My best friend had the same issue with her baby and they ended up switching to formula. I thought I'd include a brief article about breastfeeding vs formula feeding, there's no bashing in it, just info for anyone interested.  http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/breast-feeding/art-20047898?pg=2
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Avatar universal
Don't feel bad that people encourage you to do what is best for your baby especially if their advice is based on objective facts. While formula is good, the fact is breast milk is better. In your case you've not had much luck with breastfeeding and it happens, that doesn't mean you shouldn't still try. Anyway women in developed countries should count themselves lucky to have programs like WIC. if women had to buy all their formulas without any assistance or subsidy, perhaps more women wouldn't give up on breastfeeding so easily.
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5098230 tn?1430974779
Formula is supposed to be for mothers that cannot breastfeed their kids. From my understanding WIC encourages breastfeeding because it IS healthier and better for baby. Also they are the ones paying for the formula and only like giving formula to mothers that absolutely can't breastfeed not because they don't want to. So by them encouraging breastfeeding because you simply DONT want to try you take it as bashing (being verbally attacked) then maybe their is slightly some guilt you are feeling towards your own decision. Women that don't feel guilty don't get defensive on what they choose. Every baby is different and WIC is trying to explain to you, " you shouldn't say you "can't" until you have tried.
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Avatar universal
And here you two are breast feeding moms and trying to tell me that it's really is better for baby. Actually now formula is 99.9% the same as breast milk. TeenyMello as I stated I live in a very pro breast is beast state, so WIC trying to push me to breast fed is not super ridiculous. My home state WIC did not try and push me to breast fed, they just said ok and didn't give me any grief about it. They acknowledge it was my choice, which is coming from a very informed decision based on past experience.
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Avatar universal
I breastfed my son for a year and it was rough going for some time. I wouldn't change any of it though and plan on doing it again. They push it so hard because it really is better for baby but I can easily see how it can just not work for some moms or why someone may not want to do it. It can be quite a bit of work. While I would incourage anyone who was interested to at least try there's nothing wrong with not wanting to. It's your baby, your body, and your choice.
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Avatar universal
I'd say try to when you feel you can so that your baby gets some of those important antibodies from you. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about using formula. Your midwife should know better that some women simply need help and formula is perfectly fine. We did both for both of our children for many reasons. I wanted them to get the benefits of breastmilk and figured if there was anything lacking they would receive it from the formula. Also, it wasn't pleasant trying to pump, so my husband's accessibility to formula made it easier to bond with the babies. It seems super ridiculous that WIC would give you a hard time about it.
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Avatar universal
Thanks ladies. PatricksMommy I didn't even make it a month with #1, also I love the trem "milk duds."  I'm just tired of everything we do other moms are trying to push their views on others. My mom even didn't like that I went with a c-section with #1 after no progress and my water having been broke for almost 12 hrs, and when I opted for a repeat with #2. She's come around now, it didn't her long after #2 was born and we all found out those inconsistent contractions I was having were actually extremely more cconsistent and that I had been in labor for almost 72 hrs. I had no idea at I was having more contractions then what I was feeling, and only knew that it was like that when the Dr told me my cervix (sorry tmi) was extremely thin. I didn't feel contractions with #1 either, was past my due date and was told to go in to labor and delivery. So when my mom found out that I don't feel the lobor contractions like I should she came around and realized that opting for  c-sections were for the best with me. Although she still feels that the main reason why Dr go for a c-section is get it done and over with, and more money.
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Avatar universal
The thought of breast feeding grosses me out..i have no issue with people who do it but for me there is 1000% zero desire to do it. My dr advised me with my 1st and now 2nd baby if i have no desire do not do it or i will resent the baby everytime i have to feed. So i formula fed and my son is great. I am doing the same with this baby too. They promote it at the hospitals but stick to your guns and say no i am not doing it because i dont produce enough milk and and it wont be any differnt this time. Do what you want
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Avatar universal
I'm not sure why they insist so much on breast feeding I feel like we should have the choice . They want to force mothers to do it. With my 1st I breast fed but I was always leaking I couldn't go anywhere without coming home soaking wet it was horrible with my 2nd I also breast fed but not for that long as I had the same problem. With my 3rd I didn't even try to breast feed I haven't had great experiences with it so I don't plan on doing it this time around either I actually want to pump & bottle feed it to my baby lets see how hay goes for me
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Avatar universal
I completely understand what your going through. I have "milk duds" also. I went through  three months of hell trying to feed my first son and pumping. Doctors made me feel like I was crazy. And I didn't know anyone to really talk to. I thought it was all in my head.
I think it's horrible how WIC and the hospital are so hard on formula choice mommys.
This baby I feel like I'm not going to produce, my boons haven't  really changed again. I will try. But will formula  feed if it doesn't  come in.
I think as mothers we should always support each other in whatever we do. It's sad how people can bash each other Instead of help and support.
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