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Avatar universal

should i leave?

Alright. Well on 19 years. My boyfriend that if 21 and I have a 6m old son. Things were fine at first but he got surgery a month after our son was born that caused him to loose his job. He hasn't looked for work at all so his dad has been supporting us and on thankful but my boyfriend abuses it and steals money from his dad to buy stuff for his car or tattoo junk. When we need supplies I have to ask my mom, because I have college I don't have time to work. I can't stay away from my son to long. He recently did taxes and claimed me and our baby but is using the money for his problems leaving us 2k and telling me on only getting 1k. Like it's getting me soon annoyed that he thinks of himself only and me and our son second. I am not happy anymore and want to go back home. Then again I don't want to separate my son from his father. Help me please.
12 Responses
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4794528 tn?1360391985
Trust me if he says he will change but doesn't, he never will because he's learned thru repeated behavior that he doesn't have to.
Leave. Tell him why.
When he says I'll change ... tell him words are not enough anymore. Leave him. And if he wants you and his son back, he'll do what he needs to, including getting a job, a safe place for you guys to live, and gain your trust back.
Even tho you love him, just because you have a child that does not obligate you into being miserable on his behalf, for his sake, when he only looks out for himself???
if he looks out for him and you look out for him, who is there to look out for you?
Helpful - 0
377493 tn?1356502149
You are both adults now who made the very adult decision to have a child together.  So, you need to first sit down and talk to him.  He needs to grow up and it's time to take responsibility.  Moving home to mom just isn't going to solve the problem.  You are the mom now, and need to find a way to make this work, with or without him.  You two are joined for life now.  

Talk to him and give him the opportunity to work on the issues.  Threats typically don't work.  If he won't help financially, then file for support.  He will still be in his childs life, but he must help financially - that is the law.  Best of luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can't just threaten - he won't take you seriously if he doesn't change and you don't leave. If you're going to tell him you'll leave then you have to be prepared to go through with it. I hope he gets his act together for your sake and your son. Long run your son would rather grow up in a happy house then in one of hurt and anger knowing he's the only reason you're still there and unhappy. Best of luck x
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The thing is I have, but he just shrugs it off or says he will but nothing changes, maybe one last time with a threat that I'll leave. An I'm 19 and no other kids.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
true also i agree with ftm2013 stick up for urself and tell him how u feel first and see how he reacts!
Helpful - 0
4270856 tn?1355798754
I would leave at least until he gets his act together, your baby can still see his dad
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Leave if he doesn't change!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't think you need to leave I think you need to grow a back bone and tell him how you feel make sure he knows your done putting up with it before leaving! Men can be stupid sometimes they need a wake up call.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
tel him your not happy! thats no way for you and your son to live....go home to your parents finish school:) how old r u and do u have other kids?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
How should I tell him or should I just leave?
Helpful - 0
4228027 tn?1360081203
You need to leave hun.. its not going to get better only will get worse read my post you will see i have been through alot and the same thing u are so please leave before it gets worse
Helpful - 0
4565938 tn?1357880653
Doesn't seem like he really cares too much I think you need to decide what sort of life you want for your son and act on that it's not for us to tell you what to you. I personally would leave though.
Helpful - 0

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