soo young..

[febmama2013]

Why do I keep seeing EVERYWHERE, about people getting married at like 17-18 in America?  Its all over this forum its on TV shows, and then people are devorced at like 20. It looks so normal for you guys to treat marriage like dating! Like what's the rush? (I don't mean to sound mean, its curiosity because its not like that here in New Zealand)

[beccalyntx]

I am much older than some of you guys, I'm 30. I was engaged twice in my late teens/early 20's. I look back now and am so glad that I did not stick it out with either of those guys. I can not imagine the life I would have if I married young and had kids at an early age. Granted, I always thought I would be married and have kids by the time I was 26.. I didn't meet my husband until I was 24, we got married when I was 25. We have been married now for 5 years, together for 6. We are expecting our first child in August. I am glad to have had the last 6 years to get to know my husband better and to be able to do some of the things we wouldn't be free to do with kids.
With all that being said, I do not judge people who have kids young, but I do belive that it is better to be with your partner for an extended period of time before even thinking about having kids with them. If we had, had kids early on in our marriage or even before we got married, I do not think our marriage would be as strong as it is today. We are now both mature enough to handle having kids, 5 years ago we were still getting to know each other, throwing a baby into that mix would not have been helpfull.
  So for those of you who are saying you are in a commited relationship with your bd, thats great. I hope all works out for you.

[ShellyLette]

Exactly. I feel I'm doing the best I can to make a stable life for my baby girl. Everything I do now a days is with her in mind. I don't really care if someone approves of my life or not. I'm very content with the way its going. Some rude comments or little statistics aren't going to change my decisions about what to do with my life. It was completely unnecessary.

[jessicaann21]

I'm not religious so it isn't a factor for me. I understand that is for other people though. I said I was offended, but i take it back. I'm comfortable with the life I have, planned or not. And I don't need someones approval to feel happy about everything.

[ShellyLette]

Lol apparently were not commited to our children because were not mature enough to commit to marriage. Smh.. the nerve of some people I tell you. It really offended me at first but now I just find it funny. It's amazing how judgemental someone so religious can be. I thought god was the only one who could judge us or did that lady forget?

[jessicaann21]

I'm a little offended also. I live with my boyfriend and have for about a year now. Yes we are young and didnt plan to get pregnant, but we have become even closer since this and both love out son and eachother, and I'm not completely sold on marriage. I am committed to my boyfriend and my baby. But I just don't really want to get married. And just because you wait and "do it the right way" doesn't mean it will work. My parents waited, got married, and had children. And now 20 years later are divorced and don't like each other. The life you have with your partner and children is what you make of it. And I think it is just ignorant to say someone is doing it wrong. If at what works for them then that is all that matters. And those statistics don't mean a lot to me. A child is going to turn out however you raise it not based on a legal piece of paper that says you did things " the right way"

[febmama2013]

I'm not married. I don't like the concept of marriage.  My parents are married and my dads an alcoholic and they decided to stick it out for the kids, bad idea!! I hate my father. It would of been a whole lot different if they split up but no! They are now. I'm with my BD and I love him like nothing else. We have a place, an income alot of support. Don't see how a piece of paper can change much except put you in a horrible position if things go wrong. A piece of paper doesn't change your parenting style, stability of your relationship or your commitment. And it really gets to me when people involve god, its ok for you and your marriage if you believe in that, but when you judge others because they aren't married and having babies ect that's just flat out unfair.  I'm not religious at all. Each one to there own I guess. Its not fair saying I'm an unfit or less of a parent just because of my relationship status.

[BabyTurnip]

Both me n my hubby are 21 expecting our little one in august. Weve been engaged for three years together for four and he just brought up the talk about marriage. Yes i want to marry him but dont have the money right. But i do think well go to city hall and at least get married that way before baby is born and later down the line have a ceremonie with all family and friends. Thinking about it now i dont want out kids to think we werent ready to commit its just baby coming and lack of money everything seems to be against us. But i think well get married before even if its not the wedding i always thought it would be. The most important thing right now is our precious little one coming and we want to do everything the right way for him or her :)

[Phatz88]

And I have also been with my bf for 6 yrs expecting our first baby, and I don't plan on getting married anytime soon. A piece of paper isn't going to change my relationship with my child or my love life. Like I like to say we are spiritually married we live together and he does everything that he would do if we were married and probably more.

[Phatz88]

I don't believe that if your not ready for marriage your not ready for parenthood. My mother didn't get married and she took care of three kids on her own and she loved and cared for us all. And she did a very good job at raising twins and a older son. I think marriage and parenthood are two different things.

[bubnumber1]

My partner and I are both 19 this year, expecting our first in August. We are from Australia. We are talking about marriage but not because I am pregnant, it is because we have been together for 5 years. We love each other and our baby has already strengthened our bond further. I know one friend of mine that is married and has a baby, and is my age, and her and her husband are completely committed to each other and their baby. I dont believe getting married young, or having children young, is a problem. It is who you and your partner are that define you as people, certainly not your age. Marriage can end just as quickly, whether you marry at 20 or 30 or 40 it just depends on if you and your partner have the dynamics to work together, and people can get that wrong at any age, the same as parenting. Whether you mature enough for these responsibilities at 18 and you find the right person, or it takes you up to 40 years on top of that to do the same, it all depends on the individual.

[23withalmost3]

Im 23 carrying out third ..weve been married
almost 3 years now we have known eachother for 8 years had our first baby at 19 -couldnt be happier ..while I must agree the age of girls having babies does keep getting younger I dont believe there getting married,here in the states to get married under the age of 18 they need parental consent, it id very popular here to say ur married when ur just in a relationship

[Cyn_henderson]

I've been with my husband for nearly 3 years now. 2 dating 1 married. I am 19, he is 21. Both of our bdays are in June. I honesty never thought I would be married at my age. I thought I wouldn't marry until at least 26. When I met my husband we were inseparable. We had a couple of challenges. He was recovering from an injury over seas...and my parents wanted me with someone else...someone of my ethnicity, someone who wasn't older, and someone who isn't in the military. But I knew I wanted nothing more then to be with him. I helped him recover and he's been nothing but wonderful to me. He asked me to marry him...i said yes...a month later we planned on having a baby. We didn't know if we would have the time to try later (with him reenlisting things were shaky on where we would be). I don't regret marrying him at a young age. I don't regret planning our baby. I don't regret going against my parents wishes, as rude as that might sound. But it took my father and I 7 months till we faced & talked to each other. He couldn't be any more happy for Ryan and I. He's over joyed about being a grandpa and he tells me he's proud that I never gave up. I get judged all the time. But if someone has the time and the breath to try and hurt me. All I have to say is good luck, cause it'll take a lot more then words to bring me down. Anyone who has that much time must be bored. All I have to say to the ones who do judge me, you are not my God. I love my husband. An I love my baby girl who will be here in 5 days (:

[sepmom13]

i have been with my husband since we were 17 years old (High school sweethearts).  We got married at 21 and will be celebrating or 5 year anniversary in August.  we r going to be first time parents in September.  we r extremely happy and getting closer everyday.

[sickmamma92]

I got married at 18, to someone I thought I was going to be with forever, but he had other plans.  I was married for 18 months until he cheated on me and served me with divorce papers. I tried everything to fix my Marriage but he wouldn't do it. It was sad but it was a lesson learned for me.   I didn't treat my marriage as I was dating, because if I did I wouldn't have tried to make it work with the dirt bag.

[Lyssa0607]

I wrote out a log explanation but decided it wasn't needed to deal with the ignorance of some woman who thinks it is her place to judge the lives of others who is this woman to tell others they don't have the right priorities bc they are doing things differently then she is it is sickening women just do what is right for yourselves these negative people aren't in your lives aren't going to be the ones getting divorced if your marriage doesn't work out me and my husband co parented my step daughter (who I have raised since she was 18 months) for about a year before getting married now my daughter is 4 we are expecting our next addition in march and have never been happier our marriage is happier then our friends who got married first then had kids and I feel it's bc we took the time to make sure it was what we both wanted and what was best for the both of us not just what was more socially correct at the time  good luck ladies :)

[Chelle1991]

My boyfriend and I plan on getting married after our baby is born. Not because we're pregnant, but because we have known for months now that we are spending our lives together. The baby just speeds things up a little bit.

I'm a ftm, and I had always planned on being married before having children, but things don't always turn out as planned, and I'm happy that our lives had changed this way--due to other complications this may be the only chance we will have to be parents. I knew before I got pregnant that this was the man I was going to spend my life with.

I should mention that I'm 21 and he is 27.

[cgoodwin]

I hot married at 19. My husband and I made the decision because both of s were very wild in highschool, and were done messing around. We are 22 now, still married, and very happy. Not everyone is like on tv. Some of us are just able to know when it's time to grow up. My husband is a paramedic and I am finishing up police force training.

[StephanieFTM]

I'm 18 and pregnant with my first child my boyfriend and I have decided we want to wait a couple more years before we get married. We have been together for 3 years and the child wasn't planned. But #1.Our baby has two very commited parents #2.You do not have to get married to be a good parent. We have a very stable relationship we just don't like to rush things. If any one has a comment on that I could care less. I love my boyfriend and I love my baby Weston but I will not put a strain on my relationship just so others will be more approving. My child is my number one priority and will be till the day I stop breathing.

[Shunda222]

I feel kinda offend that b/c im not married my baby will not have a proper up bringing at least thats what im getting from RockRoss im 20 yrs. Old I graduated at 16 &i have a degree in office administration/accounting & business management I have my own place my own car a good job & very stable I did not get pregnant purposely it was a accident but if your into the bible you would know babies are not mistakes they are blessing my babies father & I was not a couple we just was to young pple messing around & a baby was the outcome anyways he's abandoned me the moment I told him I was pregnant & to be honest idc anyways i've chosen to keep my baby I have the support of my family & then I have made something of myself and I will continue to further my career my mother & grandmother was single parents and my mom & I are perfectly fine so this bs about not being committed to a marriage means not being able to commit to your child is foolish and any man who comes into my life will know that my baby is my #1 priority my #1 commitment & will always come first I do not need a man to complete me & anyone who thinks they do need to get on their knees and pray cause at the end of the day god is her father & thats all we need at the end off this all...but if u really wonna knw whats up I am currently with a guy ive known for years & he's been here since day 1 of my pregnancy taking up the slack of what my bd left behind we're engaged & plan to get married soon b/c he's leaving off for the military in the next couple of months he loves me & my unborn very much & plans to adopt her when we marry now does that make it any better for u ??

[whiteness]

Thank you Rose. And i fully believe in getting married if its right before you start a family,, because its way different living with your boyfriend vs living with your husband..there are so many things that he didn't do while we were dating that he does now that were married..and vice versa. But we worked on our relationship before we ever dreamed of having a family..i hope that those of you who aren't married will keep it in the cards for later in life,, we decided to get my last name changed just recently (the social security office takes so long at this) because we are expecting and didn't want our son confused as to why him and daddys last name is different then mommys. But for the longest i kept my name. I think you should be in the right place in life before you make the life long commitment to have kids and be married

[NicoleW09]

I got married at 19, had my daughter at 21 and my son at 23. We will be celebrating our fourth anniversary in April. I'm blessed to be a sahm and we bought a house last year.

My parents married at 19 and 22. They divorced after twelve years due tomt father being a drug/alcohol addict and verbally and physically abusive.

My mil and fil married at 15 and 19. They are about to celebrate their 30th anniversary.

Both our parents married bc they were pregnant. I'm not sure marrying young is the norm in the us.

[RockRose]

whiteness - I bet you'll make it.  Used to be,  the thinking was that high school sweethearts who married very young rarely made it - but that's statistically proving untrue.  Statistically,  high school sweethearts who marry and stay married 5 years tend to make it for a whole  lifetime.

Good for you!

[Shirano]

I got married at 19 it's not that big of a deal. My husband and I are very happy! If you are ready for the commitment then it doesn't really matter your age.

[whiteness]

I got married at a young age,, but me and hubby have been together for a long time..we got married on March 1st 2011 and are expecting our first child due in April. I was 16 when we got married,, but we don't argue alot we don't fight we live on our own and are doing great..I'm 18 now and never been happier. But i don't know anyone else who got married real young like that..