Aa
to fallen mothers
Has anyone on here, lost a child due to low amniotic fluid? I lost my boy,January 7th. I'm pregnant again now, and forcing myself not to be happy. I don't want to go threw it again.
Its so awesome to speak to someone that understands. I definitely know how you feel! I got angry at many things... I had people who had just met me ask out of the blue 'so sorry to hear about jax. What happened? How are u doing?' And I felt bad because they werent trying to be rude but I couldnt help but just wanna be like none of your dam buisness. If I wanna talk about it il bring it up! I didnt wana see anyone for a while because I didnt know how to act. I wasnt sure what people would expect of me or weather we would all talk about it or people would just ignore it. I think I was in some weird type of shock. The day of his funeral - we didnt have an actual service just a slide show of photos and music I made at the funeral home his casket an all his things..an album I made and a book everyone wrote in.etc. Open all day for our friends and family to come in when they wanted. I sat in there all day long as everyone else cryed and was grieving themselves I couldnt even shed a tear. I couldnt even cry. It was all just so surreal. And even tho id get mad at people bringing it up - if I seen someone I hadnt seen since having jax and they just ignored the whole situation that would make me mad too! Wasnt anyone's fault at all..just couldnt work out how a situation like ours is ment to go. Me and my partner....well its hard to say, we are having another baby like iv told you but hes been a bit weird I guess ud say about the whole thing. Its taken its time to take a toll on our relationship but I have to say it is now a bit. It has definitely had an impact on things latly...but it didnt for the first couple months. He thinks im depressed but I think anyone would be sad with something like this! Of course..doesnt mean to say im depressed? I guess he finds its hard to accept that there is no way around grieving. You will be sad. You will have hard days. Life will not be the same but eventually it will get easier...but to get there you have to go through the heart ache. No avoiding it. Sometimes I get so mad at that....I just want it all to go away! Im sick of having a pain in my heart every second. I can totally understand how horrible that must have been to not be aloud birth cert and a legal name etc. But on the bright side - holding my own sons death certificate *****. I hate having it in a way. How are you and your partners relationship because of it? Jax weighed 650grams when he was born and put on 100grams before he died!
I wish we could all meet up in person lol I don't know anyone that has lost their child other then having misscarages. Tonz your hard ships, every one I felt. May sound bad but I am happy I'm not the only only one. A girl that knew what had happened handed me a new born baby as well, in front of a huge crowd. And I just broke down, it had only happened a few days before that. How hard was it on your girls relationship with your significant others? I had so much anger toward everyone. The hardest part for me was my boy was" too small" for me to receive a birth certificate, or death certificate. The only legal document I was allowed to show I had him was the coroners report and instead of, xander Ray pilon, our name we had decided sense we planned to get pregnant, on the paper work it was baby boy bridges, my last name. So....legally he was too small to have a name. ...he was 6.5 oz 6.5 inch. I was so mad at the doctors at the hospital. And my boyfriend's mother made every single thing worse. Down to telling me that I don't want the earn that I wanted. ...is it wrong of me to hate people who say they went threw the same thing, when they had misscarrages? I get so angry. YOU DIDNT HAVE TO DELIVER YOUR DEAD CHILD!.....I feel no one understands unless they really went threw what I did, or worse....like you tonz. ....I couldn't even imagine
I am so sorry for all of your losses. I was induced with my son because his fluid was so low. I have no idea what i wouldve done if he didnt make it that day!
Wasnt exactly planned - we planned to give ourselves more time to heal but when I missed a day of the pill I just couldn't bring myself to care because all I wanted was to be pregnant again. And here I am! Thanks so much.. you too
Thank you. I have lots of friends that have lost a baby then gone on to have healthy kids after. You must be a strong person to be trying again. You will love your baby more deeply because of your experiences. I wish you both the best with your pregnancies.
That is so sad! I dont know how I could keep going if I lose this one. I probably would give up. Your so strong too! Im so glad your son is doing good and I wish you all the best with your wee girl. When I think of the fact that it is completely possible to have a healthy baby this time it makes me sooooo happy..just hard to know which one to stay with..hopeful or prepare myself just incase? I just dont know
I have lost 2 babies during the early second trimester. I also have a son that was born with no kidney function due to a blockage in utero. He had many surgeries and is now 5 and doing well. He survived even though they said he wouldn't. I am 33 weeks pregnant with a girl. I know its hard to let yourself be happy and fall in love with you're baby when you are so worridd. Nothing melts a frozen heart like holding your new little one. I feel like I am a better mother to my son because of everything we went through. I know how much I love him because of what happened. I don't ever take a second for granted. I think i love my kids more because of the pain I went through. My sistuation is a little different then yours though. I am so sorry for your loss.
Sorry about all the novels - it feels good to share stories with someone who has an understanding :)
He was born 21st of april this year and died the 1st of may. Well id have to say holding him through that was definitely number one hardest thing..then seeing his tiny casket. Looking at his hand and foot castings I have on my wall every day. Visiting his plaque at the cemetery. When people didnt know id lost him because I just didnt want any one to come near me and id get congratulated when I went out and have to tell them..seeing my partner lose all faith in anything..looking through the hundreds of photos I took of him..holding his blanket..his wee hat and booties. Coming home to a fully done baby room..all his clothes..we had just brought all brand new furniture for baby room..waking up every morning to his ashes and his special things on a shelf next to me.. all these things are hard. But the one thing id say that has me holding back from losing the plot is when im around complete strangers with there babies right next to me..felt like they were everywhere I went. I work at a cafe and one day a lady said oh im so sorry iv forgotten my purse would u hold my baby while I run out to the carpark? And suddenly I was alone with a tiny newborn in my arms and it was like someone was stabbing my right in the heart.
I'm seven weeks now! May I ask what day he passed?
I was told still birth due to low amniotic fluid hardly even happens but if it does its practically guaranteed to never happen to you again so said my obgyn. I pray it to be true. I told my fionce it's gonna be a girl this time, just because everything we have is for a boy lol. What was the hardest part of it all for you? Going home to a room all ready was for me
Im 8weeks. Well its absolutely amazing what people can just deal with isnt it...if somebody told me that would happen to me I wouldve said the same thing! But the way I see it - I had to put my own feelings aside and be strong for my son. I couldnt just fall apart amd leave him.. I took great comfort in knowing (although it was SO hard) staying strong for jax..doing everything I could..by his side every second of every day..and chose to hold him as he lost his life (they had to turn the machines off) which was absolutely horrible. Feels like a nightmare. And I didnt want to do it at all. But I felt by choosing to do that- I was being the good strong mother I needed to be to be there for jax. I would much rather him die in my arms than all alone because I was to weak. So basically because he was alive its what kept me strong...once I went through the traumatic experience of him changing colour and taking his last breath..I felt I had made it through the hardest part now so might as well keep going! But I was sooo wrong...there are alot of days still as hard as that one.
Im just not letting myself get to hopeful this time round - the day I gave birth was the day I found out something was wrong. My pregnancy was perfect up until then so I feel like im just waiting for the day to come around and already preparing myself for it...but on the other hand I know that I need to be strong and do everything I can and just hope and pray if being a mother is really what I want!
How far long are you now?
I've told my SO that if he would have been alive at all and then we lost him, I couldn't have handled my life. I'm not strong enough for that. You must have great strength. But if it happens again, I'm scared I'll loose myself completely.
Loosening xanders was the hardest thing I've ever went threw, I've became so numb to any emotions or care in the world. But now, I'm so scared to go threw it again, I don't want to get my hopes up at all. How hard is it for you to stay hopefull
That is heart breaking. I am so sorry for your loss. Having had my son take his last breath in my arms is an acheing heart pain that will never leave me. I understand your pain.
I lost my wee man at 10 days old - this was due to giving birth at 23weeks pregnant from my placenta rupturing. I am now pregnant again too..I lost jax earlier this year and it is absolutely terrifying as much as I am sooo happy I can hopefully give a reasonably normal birth (has to be c section though) and finally have my healthy baby!
It was a terrible experience, I was in 23 1/2 hours of induced labor for my knowing dead son.
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