Feels of guilt dont know what to do

[meezy111]

Hi There, I did not know if I should post this, feeling scared of what people might think but I needed to talk and my husband unfortunately is not being very communicative lately. I recently under went IVF. Transferred two hoping one would stick. Not only did both stick, one actually split. Now I am expecting triplets. I only wanted one child now the idea of three is killing me. I dont want three kids, I dont feel like I will handle it and I now dont want to go through this pregnancy. I want to have fetal reduction but my husband doesn't want to hear anything of the sort. I am feeling lost, alone and scared. I am entering my 12th week this coming week and seriously thinking of requesting my doctor do fetal reduction, with or without my husbands consent. I dont know if the doctor will do it though. All these thoughts are going on in my head and I feel like I am not in control. I am wishing that my next scan will show only one heatbeat, I know that is bad, I feel bad for typing it, I feel bad for thinking it, I dont know what to do. Please help me. Please dont hate me.

[cgricci]

I can understand you being scared.  I had one child and then m husband and i found out we were having twins and we didn't have any kind of medical procedures, the egg just split.  I'm not going to lie multiple children are a lot of work, I have a two year old daughter and 3 month old twins, but all the hard work will not last.  I think if you have a fetal reduction you may later reget it and will not be able to undo.  of course i think it should be up to you and your hsband what you decide to do, but i don't think you should try to do it without your husband knowing.  something like that could really come between you in the future.

definately try to get your husband to talk about this with you.  goodluck

[anxious2]

I also had 2 embryo's put back.. One split and the other did not continue to grow very early on. I live by the motto "Everything happens fora a reason". I dont believe the doctor will do the reduction without your husbands consent.  With the reduction it could possibly cause a miscarriage of all babies.  I think you need to make your husband talk to you about this.. I'm sure you are concerned about being able to financially support these babies.. It sounds like now this is taking a toll on you emotionally and taking the joy out of being pregnant with these miracles.  I will be praying for you and whatever decision you make.