I'm underaged. No I am not one of those nim-witted little girls who is crying wolf because I've been penetrated for the first time in my god forsaken life. I'm quite mature for my age. However, feel free to judge me as you please. Your opinion is not what I want. I simply want an answer. I'm 17 and my boyfriend and I recently engaged in unprotected sex where, in each session, he 'finished' in me. This occurred for 3 days straight, having finished in me about 6 times total. At this point we are somewhat ecstatic to be having our own child but we are unsure if I'm even pregnant at all. We are both very hopeful. My last period was on 1/25. We were intimate one week after my ovulation period. (I use a period calendar) The three days we went COMPLETELY unprotected (i.e. no condom, birth control, pill, pull out, etc) were 2/18, 2/19, and 2/20. I've been experiencing headaches, odd cravings, and extreme fatigue. My face feels hot and flushed often throughout the day. I get mild abdominal cramps as though I'm on my period, but I'm not due to start until another week or two. I've already got back pains so I'm unsure if this is normal or not for me. I've been a little light headed and it seems as though my sense of balance could certainly use some improving lately. I want very badly to take a test we purchased a week before our unprotected intimacy but I fear it may be too early to get a result I want very badly. To get a negative result would be a little disappointing. All answers are appreciated! thank you! :-)
Because you are mature, I know you will take this the right way -- do you have a job with generous pay and maternity benefits that you will not lose if you become pregnant, and excellent health insurance? I'm hoping you aren't pregnant until you figure the following things out: whether you will be a married mom or a single mom, whether the dad can pay child support, how you will pay for apartment, clothing, food, utilities, insurance and car, (and if you intend to work), baby care and then child care while you are at work. If the quality of information you have on those things is the same quality of information you have about ovulation, I would do some more thinking and planning.
I appreciate your feedback. As for a job, the father has applied for two, I would say, well paying jobs for the situation we are coming in. We've spoken to his parents and if, for some reason, my parents decide to evict me from the house, they've offered a place to stay and may soon even be setting up a room for the baby. As far as health insurance goes I am well insured since my mother is aware of my sex life and aware of my risk of falling pregnant. Of course all of this stuff with supplies and so on will be difficult considering our age. The father is probably more mature than I in promising to stay in fairness to the baby and myself whether or not the test comes out positive. I have extremely supportive grandparents and an aunt who would give the world for a newborn. His parents are the same way so we are HOPING that they will pitch in a little, since they've already offered their services. They're extremely excited for us to be having this baby and I have high hopes for the future. Yes, I'm as nervous as can be and I can understand where you're coming from in concern for the baby. I want the best for this baby as much as anyone else would. I guess you could say I'm one of those hyperparanoid people. Everything has to be absolutely ready in order for something to happen. I usually don't jump into something until I've done some careful planning and looking into. And luckily for us, our parents are very well payed. I've been gifted with a car of my own already and the father's parents have the most lovely large home to offer. I apologize if I'm repeating myself. I keep reading over your response and answering accordingly to make sure I fill in all the cracks. I'd say we are about 85% prepared. These early months we will look into more ways to prepare such as an appropriate job for me, being the one that may be getting the bump, figuring out the living situation, the father convincing MY dad to allow my hand in marriage. (He believes that a child deserves to be raised in a wedded family). I hope I've answered all of your imbedded questions. I look forward to positive results in both the test and our circumstance. Thank you so much! :-)
Nony, here is one other concern I have. What about your education? If your plan works and you have a child in the next year, you'll be what, 38 or so when the child is out of the home. What do you want to be at 38? Someone with only a high-school education who can't get an interesting job? Or someone who has had training and possibly worked part-time and gotten promotions and gotten more skills, so when raising kids is not your job, you have more stuff to do that excites you and keeps life interesting? A baby sometimes seems like an answer to a girl who feels her life has not been satisfying, but first of all, they can be unexpectedly much less rewarding than the mom thought, and second, you can't base your life on someone who will grow up and leave.
I understand your concern. Luckily for us there is a program called independent study. You go to school once a week, made to work independently for the rest of the week. This gives you just as much credits as daily high school and you still walk the stage with the rest of the people in your graduating classmates and friends. However it was designed for students who are not fit for public school environment. Currently my boyfriend is in this schooling for job purposes. I'll probably be taking those courses my senior year since the rest of my junior year I don't expect to show. For jobs, I've looked into PG&E, an easy place to get hired where I'm at, law enforcement which is easy to get into yet the pay is complete garbage since our poor city is in the dumps, or psychology. By the time college comes, the baby will be out of my belly and capable of being cared for by dad while mom is away at school. Not something I prefer. I'd rather do online college schooling. But I do see where you may be concerned for my life. I'm not very negative on my life. I've had some bad things happen before, but no reason to think it's crap. I don't complain. There's people going through much worse. I'm glad that I'm living in a first world country. Anyways, no. I am not using this baby as a getaway car from any problems that I have. And again, as far as jobs go, I'll keep my eyes open for part time jobs and after the baby comes and I graduate I'll be looking less recreationally.
Does your boyfriend know that when he is not working, he will be expected to come right home and stay there to do child care so you can be away at school? He is how old? And he is ready to give up all those things young guys do in our society? (Sports, going out at night, hanging around with his friends?) You've picked one of the tougher paths. It's hard to maintain a romantic relationship, let alone handle the demands of caring for a child, without time first when you were just a young married couple together, working your jobs, taking trips, having fun with friends, setting up your apartment and getting to know each other's rhythms, with no kids in the mix. Nobody could tell me much when I was 17, so probably nobody can tell you anything either, but I at least did dimly realize that life would be more simple overall if I didn't get pregnant at that time. Other women on this site who did get pregnant as a teen report that it was hard -- they don't regret having a child, but some of them will tell you that they regret the timing and the sequence of their life choices. Some of the things that the rest of your life will be based upon, are easier to do when you are not also 24/7 responsible for a baby and then a child.
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