Aa
does anyone else get this when they go out?
ok so the comments all started when i was about 3 months pregnant (and looked like i was 6) with people going "oh my god you're ENORMOUS (that was killer to the ego) you're about to explode arn't you???" and then you'd say no, i'm only 3 months along. then they give you a look like omg. then some who were really rude would comment "well...arn't you kind of big for 3 months?" then you'd have to say "no i'm having twins, triplets or whatever" then they STILL gave you a look like....omg wtf. then the babies are born. our stroller is the back to back so one boy is front and the other is behind him. (brett loves the back. he gets all snuggly and sleeps while eli loves the front..he's a little people watcher) and head on it looks like there's only 1 baby. so people are like "ohhhh what a cute little...ummm is it a boy or girl (that's another thing that makes me mad. blue stroller, blue/green/black/white/yellow clothes no pink whatsoever anywhere!!! no bows in the hair, no pierced ears...they LOOK like boys) you reply..boy/girl. then they look and are like "oh and there's another one? why did you have 2?" that's when i give them the...what? look. i always reply "well....i figured i shouldn't throw the other one away so i decided to keep him to." stupid answer for a stupid question. or if i'm out with my mom and she's holding one boy and i'm holding the other, (my boys look very much alike. it's just one has hair the other doesn't) the comment we get is wow you were both pregnant at the same time? i always say "yeah we're so close we decided to get pregnant on the same day and give birth on the exact same day" then i just roll my eyes.
why are people always so surprised if they see a person/couple with more then one baby?
why are people always so surprised if they see a person/couple with more then one baby?
So... My sister and I went to the Children's Hospital today to have my g/g twins tested for urinary reflux (dd had it so a one in three chance the babies would too - they don't - yea!!!) and the looks were priceless. After confirming twins, we were asked who the mommy was, I was so tempted to say we both are!!! Everyone wanted to know their names, how old they were, were they born early, how much did they weigh, etc. It was kinda fun but we were a little late for the appointment : )
I know what you mean about not wanting to lie to people when asked about the fertility. I am lucky as I am a twin so I can always say, yes, they run in my family LOL. In a book I have it had this for a comeback, "I am sure they will be running all over the place when they are born". These other phrase I always get is, "boy, you are going to have your hands full." If I had a nickel.....
The next stranger that asks me if I used fertility treatments I am going to ask "Why do you ask?". I think some people have friends or relatives that are going through the same thing so I will give them a chance to not be so nosey for pure curiosity and then see what they say. lol
I know what you mean about not wanting to lie to people when asked about the fertility. I am lucky as I am a twin so I can always say, yes, they run in my family LOL. In a book I have it had this for a comeback, "I am sure they will be running all over the place when they are born". These other phrase I always get is, "boy, you are going to have your hands full." If I had a nickel.....
The next stranger that asks me if I used fertility treatments I am going to ask "Why do you ask?". I think some people have friends or relatives that are going through the same thing so I will give them a chance to not be so nosey for pure curiosity and then see what they say. lol
Omg I would have had to say something like who the h e double tooth picks do you think you are? I mean come on that's so rude
actually brown i did have a woman ask me that. i was at wal mart with my mom doing a bit of well...baby shopping (i was still pregnant at the time). she did the normal oh my goodness you're so big!!! you're about to pop! of course i was like no i still have 5 more months. and that lead into the whole twins in the family thing. then....something i was so not expecting. "did you and your husband have a special position to get pregnant with twins?" i was so completely dumbfounded that someone had the balls to ask that question. i didn't even know what to say. i just stared at her open mouthed like....wtf? that was the only time anyone asked that though. and glad to.
oh I hate that question I mean it's none of their business....and what gives them the idea it's ok to ask a question so personal.....what next? They going to ask what position we used to conceive too??? WTH?
I agree ~ I hate the "did you take fertility treatments" question,,, that hurts. I don't really mind telling my closest friends and family,,, but my hubby is a little embarrassed by it and doesn't want me to say too much... Which puts me in an awkward position having to lie sometimes. Or sometimes I'll say "well we did a little bit" (not a lie but not the whole truth either.) And then my hubby gets mad at me for saying too much.
I am only 4 months preggo with twins, but I really do look 6 months gone. The thing that gets me is that people already ask me 20 times a day (i kid you not) how I am feeling. It's sweet and all but I can't even walk down the hall at work without getting asked. It becomes a little frustrating. I guess they think that since I'm a co-worker who is having twins, (how rare is that!) then I surely must be feeling miserable already... at only 4 months. It's just a rare thing for them to see such a thing. LOL The funny thing is, they haven't seen nuthin yet. I really am going to end up huge and miserable and moody by the time this is over with.
I know we don't mean to sound rude about it, and I do blame pregnancy hormones and/or being an overly busy mom for our short fuses. =)
I know we don't mean to sound rude about it, and I do blame pregnancy hormones and/or being an overly busy mom for our short fuses. =)
I always get "Are they twins?" I told my OB that I was going to start saying "No, they are 10 weeks apart!" HA! He said "Well, I actually delivered twins 10 weeks apart so it could happen!"
I have boy/girl twins and I get asked all of the time "Are they identical?" I try to be very nice and educate people by explaining that they are a boy and a girl...while they look a like, not everything on their body is identical!!!! I heard an old man in Babies R Us saying to another person, I just do not understand why some twins look exactly alike and why some do not....Again, just needs a bit of educating. I have met some VERY smart people who have been confused by that whole thing.
The mixing up of boy/girl does not bother me...My girl is in a pink car seat and wears girly clothes but I do not let it bother me. Who cares? Just say "Nope, she is a girl and go on....People do that with singletons also. Because of my short hair, I was mistaken for a boy through elementary school! HA! I do not do the bows or headbands on my girl so that might make a difference but like I said, Who cares.... People are just curious.
The only comments that bother me are "Do twins run in your family?" When I respond "NO" or "They do now..." I automatically get asked "Oh, did you do fertility drugs?" I would NEVER ask anyone that!!!! That is like asking a heart attack patient if heart disease runs in his family or did he just eat too many hamburgers?!?!?!
I have boy/girl twins and I get asked all of the time "Are they identical?" I try to be very nice and educate people by explaining that they are a boy and a girl...while they look a like, not everything on their body is identical!!!! I heard an old man in Babies R Us saying to another person, I just do not understand why some twins look exactly alike and why some do not....Again, just needs a bit of educating. I have met some VERY smart people who have been confused by that whole thing.
The mixing up of boy/girl does not bother me...My girl is in a pink car seat and wears girly clothes but I do not let it bother me. Who cares? Just say "Nope, she is a girl and go on....People do that with singletons also. Because of my short hair, I was mistaken for a boy through elementary school! HA! I do not do the bows or headbands on my girl so that might make a difference but like I said, Who cares.... People are just curious.
The only comments that bother me are "Do twins run in your family?" When I respond "NO" or "They do now..." I automatically get asked "Oh, did you do fertility drugs?" I would NEVER ask anyone that!!!! That is like asking a heart attack patient if heart disease runs in his family or did he just eat too many hamburgers?!?!?!
I have signs on both my babies car seat that say "Please wash your hands before touching mine" I got them at my tiny hands . com
lol i like that stop sign. i'm going to have to order one for the stroller. that's adorable. i never was asked if i had infertility issues. i think i would've been p!ssed if someone asked that. completely inappropriate.
yeah the gender thing boogles my mind to. if a baby is in all pink, dress frilly's and all it's a girl. (unless the parents are a bit screwed up) if baby is in all blue and it's OBVIOUS boy clothes....it's a boy. why is that so hard to grasp? i always get so mad when people say my boys are cute little girls. they don't even LOOK feminine. for being 8 months old they are very very obviously boys! brett may squeal like a little girl from time to time but they have WEE WEE's between those legs!!! we do call brett our girly boy. it's so funny when he gets SOOOOO excited he has this super high pitched squeal. makes us crack up. even his brother laughs at him. it's hilarious when they're on the floor staring at each other. they just bust each other up that it makes us laugh. *sigh* i love having twins. even if it is hard and tiring. i love it. and my boys will always have a friend. : o )
yeah the gender thing boogles my mind to. if a baby is in all pink, dress frilly's and all it's a girl. (unless the parents are a bit screwed up) if baby is in all blue and it's OBVIOUS boy clothes....it's a boy. why is that so hard to grasp? i always get so mad when people say my boys are cute little girls. they don't even LOOK feminine. for being 8 months old they are very very obviously boys! brett may squeal like a little girl from time to time but they have WEE WEE's between those legs!!! we do call brett our girly boy. it's so funny when he gets SOOOOO excited he has this super high pitched squeal. makes us crack up. even his brother laughs at him. it's hilarious when they're on the floor staring at each other. they just bust each other up that it makes us laugh. *sigh* i love having twins. even if it is hard and tiring. i love it. and my boys will always have a friend. : o )
The weight thing was funny for me. Early in my pregnancy people commented on how big I was getting and later they said I didn't look big enough for twins. I had average sized babies for the gestation I made it through so I think it is funny. I guess I was always proud of my big twin belly so the big comments weren't as bad as the ones where I felt people didn't think I was taking care of my babies by not eating enough. Weird. I never had anyone touch my belly that I didn't know with either of my pregnancies. If they did, I am not shy to say something back (unless it was a sweet granny lol).
I don't think it is ever appropriate for anyone to touch another person's body without permission nor their kids either even if it is just a pat on the head. My girls just got the Synergis shot (to combat RSV if they ever got it) a couple of weeks ago and the kit came with a cute rubber stop sign that you can put on a car seat that says, "Please don't touch my hands if you haven't washed yours." I love it. I bet if someone googled it you could find where they might sell them. After talking to my guy friends at work and them reporting to me how many men don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, I will never let anyone touch my babes without washing first!!!!
I have found the couple times I have gone to the pediatrician's office is that EVERYONE comments about the babies, which is fun right now but will be challenging to thwart when on a time crunch. One person even had the kahunas to ask if I had infertility treatments. I was floored. How inappropriate and what did it matter? Growing up a twin, I was aware of the attention twins got and in hindsight, I can see how our older sister (16 months older than us) may have felt bad so I hope people always ask about the big brother/sister when making comments...
I honestly do not get the people who get the gender wrong when the baby(ies) is/are clearly wearing gender specific colors/clothing. We had my dd in all pink and in her pink Bundle Me and a nice cashier at the store said we had such a cute little boy. I think I was just so bewildered how someone could get the gender wrong that I think I just let it slide by lol.
I don't think it is ever appropriate for anyone to touch another person's body without permission nor their kids either even if it is just a pat on the head. My girls just got the Synergis shot (to combat RSV if they ever got it) a couple of weeks ago and the kit came with a cute rubber stop sign that you can put on a car seat that says, "Please don't touch my hands if you haven't washed yours." I love it. I bet if someone googled it you could find where they might sell them. After talking to my guy friends at work and them reporting to me how many men don't wash their hands after using the bathroom, I will never let anyone touch my babes without washing first!!!!
I have found the couple times I have gone to the pediatrician's office is that EVERYONE comments about the babies, which is fun right now but will be challenging to thwart when on a time crunch. One person even had the kahunas to ask if I had infertility treatments. I was floored. How inappropriate and what did it matter? Growing up a twin, I was aware of the attention twins got and in hindsight, I can see how our older sister (16 months older than us) may have felt bad so I hope people always ask about the big brother/sister when making comments...
I honestly do not get the people who get the gender wrong when the baby(ies) is/are clearly wearing gender specific colors/clothing. We had my dd in all pink and in her pink Bundle Me and a nice cashier at the store said we had such a cute little boy. I think I was just so bewildered how someone could get the gender wrong that I think I just let it slide by lol.
lol and the dh and i are getting ready to eat dinner. (it's his night to cook : o) ) it's 5:40 pm here.
pookie -lol i wish i would've thought of the "i'm thinking for three" when i was pregnant. i had pregnancy brain sooooooooo bad. i'm talking total and complete duh moments. there were times when my mom would be like....what? lol. i still do that sometimes. i don't think it's ever going to go away.
brown eyed -lol @ the i carry lysol not mase. HAHAHAHA i love that. can't get mad for killing germs.
pookie -lol i wish i would've thought of the "i'm thinking for three" when i was pregnant. i had pregnancy brain sooooooooo bad. i'm talking total and complete duh moments. there were times when my mom would be like....what? lol. i still do that sometimes. i don't think it's ever going to go away.
brown eyed -lol @ the i carry lysol not mase. HAHAHAHA i love that. can't get mad for killing germs.
Thats funny, I'm getting ready for work - and your off to bed! Goodnight! x
Yeah it just goes to show you how small the world is! :) It is 10:53pm here and my DH is trying to get me off the computer to go to bed. (Daylight savings makes everything so hard!)
I love that with this Forum you can talk to people from all around the world- seems like wherever you live we all seem to be dealing with the same things with pregnancy and children. I live in Australia and its 7.50am. Yawn...
Ohh I like that "I'm thinking for three"!!!!!! I have to remember that :)
I havent had people touch my belly - but I live in Germany and people dont even pet your dog without asking so I am sure that is why my belly doesnt get manhandled here. :)
However I do relate to the comments on size. It is funny cause I take a pregnancy yoga class and there are a few other mothers due at the end of August - of course with just one baby - and there is some belly-comparing going on. I am huge compared to them.
My belly size has grown 10cm (4 inches) in just the past 4 weeks! So of course it is noticable.
I also relate to those thinking my daughter is a boy. Her hair has always been short - it just doesnt grow much.... it is time for a haircut now just to even it out, but I dont want it to be too short because people already think she is a boy if she isnt wearing pink. When she was a baby, it didnt matter what she had on, they always guessed boy.
Funny that no matter where you are in the world, people have the same comments! LOL
I havent had people touch my belly - but I live in Germany and people dont even pet your dog without asking so I am sure that is why my belly doesnt get manhandled here. :)
However I do relate to the comments on size. It is funny cause I take a pregnancy yoga class and there are a few other mothers due at the end of August - of course with just one baby - and there is some belly-comparing going on. I am huge compared to them.
My belly size has grown 10cm (4 inches) in just the past 4 weeks! So of course it is noticable.
I also relate to those thinking my daughter is a boy. Her hair has always been short - it just doesnt grow much.... it is time for a haircut now just to even it out, but I dont want it to be too short because people already think she is a boy if she isnt wearing pink. When she was a baby, it didnt matter what she had on, they always guessed boy.
Funny that no matter where you are in the world, people have the same comments! LOL
When I do something stupid or dumb, I blame my pregnancy brain. I use the excuse at work, "Im thinking for three now!" .
I hated the belly rubbing esp ppl I didn't know and even family it's like soon as you become pregnant they know you are deflowered so that makes you public property....umm NO....I thought about getting signs that say DANGER WE ARE CONTAGEOUS....if that doesn't make em back up then I don't know what would.....my MIL cracks up cause I sprayed a lady the other day with lysol....I told her sorry I dont' carry mase I carry lysol.....lol.....I love the eating for 3 that's what I used to say....I had a work training lunchon and I'm the only woman that works at the mine....well they were all looking at me like cause I was eating as much as them....then I told them get over it I'm eating for 3 lol
ohhh the baby touching drives me crazy!!! i never minded when family would rub my belly or if i see them out somewhere and they pick them up..they're family but strangers....ehhhh i don't know if you washed your hands last time you went to the bathroom or if you just got done digging out a huge boogy out of your nose. i'm thinking about an "employees only" sign to stick on the stroller. i have little old ladies telling me how to raise them!!!! i know i look young but come on. who tells a stranger how to raise their children???
yeah i got pretty rude comments from the dhs family while i was pregnant. i was 6 months along and we went to his brothers graduation party. his grandma and aunts were giving me dirty looks and telling me i was too FAT!!!! i looked at them and said....TWINS!!!! i'm not eating for 1 or 2...i'm eating for THREE people!!!! then went to get a second piece of cake and ate it in front of them while greg rubbed my belly.
yeah i got pretty rude comments from the dhs family while i was pregnant. i was 6 months along and we went to his brothers graduation party. his grandma and aunts were giving me dirty looks and telling me i was too FAT!!!! i looked at them and said....TWINS!!!! i'm not eating for 1 or 2...i'm eating for THREE people!!!! then went to get a second piece of cake and ate it in front of them while greg rubbed my belly.
lol ah the joys of being huge......I think I got ginormous lol....I have some pics in my photos the day I delivered...it was scary...but I actually like it....
HeatherLynn22- Im so glad you decided not to throw the other twin away!!! OMG I laughed at that!
With my son when was 6 months, I was at the supermarket and he was in a blue bonds suit. I had a lady come up to us and she was telling me that my baby was the cutest little GIRL she had ever seen! I just said "Thankyou" and walked off. It just seemed so much easier than trying to explain he is a boy. Had forgot about stuff like that until I read this. Great, now i will have to put up with that again with Twins when they come. Might be worse this time because we are not going to find out the sex, so our pram and everything is in neutral colours!
I do remember that I hated being stopped so people could look at and coo over the baby. Especially when I was running late for an appoinment. Very frustrating sometimes. Interesting to hear that it gets worse with twins!
I have also been getting comments about the size of my belly. They started before I even knew I was pregnant, by my own mother!!! At three months I did look like I was six months along. Mum keeps telling me that I am gaining too much weight, tells me what I should and shouldn't be eating, and this is driving me nuts! No matter how much I explain that I'm having Twins, I should be eating more and gaining more than my first, I think she is having a hard time seeing me get so big. Funny thing is, I'm only 20 weeks! I'm going to get bigger!
When I was three months, I walked in on a conversation by my father-in-law compairing me to my husbands cousin who was also three months (with a singleton). This was to a large group of my husbands aunties and uncles at a party, and he was telling them he cant believe how huge I am, I'm too big etc. That really hurt my feeings, once he relised that I was right there, he tried to back-track but it made it worse. I do feel like a bit of a freak sometimes carrying twins. I think that I would rather hear comments like that from strangers, not my own family.
With my son when was 6 months, I was at the supermarket and he was in a blue bonds suit. I had a lady come up to us and she was telling me that my baby was the cutest little GIRL she had ever seen! I just said "Thankyou" and walked off. It just seemed so much easier than trying to explain he is a boy. Had forgot about stuff like that until I read this. Great, now i will have to put up with that again with Twins when they come. Might be worse this time because we are not going to find out the sex, so our pram and everything is in neutral colours!
I do remember that I hated being stopped so people could look at and coo over the baby. Especially when I was running late for an appoinment. Very frustrating sometimes. Interesting to hear that it gets worse with twins!
I have also been getting comments about the size of my belly. They started before I even knew I was pregnant, by my own mother!!! At three months I did look like I was six months along. Mum keeps telling me that I am gaining too much weight, tells me what I should and shouldn't be eating, and this is driving me nuts! No matter how much I explain that I'm having Twins, I should be eating more and gaining more than my first, I think she is having a hard time seeing me get so big. Funny thing is, I'm only 20 weeks! I'm going to get bigger!
When I was three months, I walked in on a conversation by my father-in-law compairing me to my husbands cousin who was also three months (with a singleton). This was to a large group of my husbands aunties and uncles at a party, and he was telling them he cant believe how huge I am, I'm too big etc. That really hurt my feeings, once he relised that I was right there, he tried to back-track but it made it worse. I do feel like a bit of a freak sometimes carrying twins. I think that I would rather hear comments like that from strangers, not my own family.
I kinda like the attention cause I am a very proud momma but at times when I'm in a hurry I just get frusterated
I had another twin mother say something to me that I've never forgotten. She came up to me, much like many others asking 'oh, is that twins?" She had her 10 year old daughter with her and explained that her daughter had a twin brother. Then she said "you know, nobody ever asks me if my kids are twins anymore. Now that they are older, I guess they don't look like twins anymore"
I thought that was interesting. I sometimes get tired of all the attention they attract too, but I'm pretty sure I'll miss it when it's gone :)
That being said...I feel bad for my twin daughter. Everyone thinks she's a boy! Both she and her brother have very little hair, so everyone assumes they are twin boys. She is almost 2 and I still dress her up in pink nearly every day, but it doesn't seem to make any difference - lol!
I thought that was interesting. I sometimes get tired of all the attention they attract too, but I'm pretty sure I'll miss it when it's gone :)
That being said...I feel bad for my twin daughter. Everyone thinks she's a boy! Both she and her brother have very little hair, so everyone assumes they are twin boys. She is almost 2 and I still dress her up in pink nearly every day, but it doesn't seem to make any difference - lol!
So sorry if I came off as angry....it's just that no matter how much of a hurry I'm in I can never make a quick trip in the store and I love showing off my babies I really do...but when ppl I don't know actually grab my cart and stop me like I owe them the right to touch or look at my babies I do get angry....look and awe all you want just don't spread your germs to them...they are sweet and innocent and do not deserve getting sick for no reason......and I really do appreciate the awe it's not that easy but it's all some of us know.....so to us it's just normal....and I think we do forget that not everyone does have twins and triplets and they are special...so thanks for bringing the other side of the story to this post
As a mother of singleton's, I really do believe that you mother's that have twins, triplets and many more, are absolutely amazing women. I think most of the population are fascinated by twins. They have been since I have been alive. We excite in seeing if they look alike, although when you mom's have fraternal twins, it must anger you, when we try to compare what they look like.
You need to consider all of us that are fascinated by twins or the huge belly's of mother's with multiples, as the freaks. We are fascinated by something we don't see every day, so please forgive us for being inquisitive. We really are admiring your precious babies and YOU for the job you do trying to care for two, when we found it difficult to care for one.
One thing I totally agree on, which happened to me often, is everyone wanted to touch my belly when I was pregnant and everyone wanted to touch my baby. It always seemed to be when they were sleeping. It never failed.
I came to the conclusion, that baby's are adored and show such innocence, that the people that always want to touch or talk about the pregnancy or the babies, are just glad that there is something so sweet and so innocent, to look at, in this very troubled world. Nothing is more pure than a pregnant woman and a baby. (s)
Please try to forgive people like me that are just interested in the miracle you are carrying and the even greater miracle that there is more than one baby in the stroller. We are just curious and amazed, but you're right, we have no business touching bellies or babies, without your permission.
I am guilty as well, for asking whether it's a boy or a girl, when there is clearly a pink bow protruding from the baby's little tuft of hair. Forgive us all. I really believe that people such as myself are trying to show you how delightful it is to see a pregnant woman or her new twin babies, rolling down the street in their new stroller.
Best Wishes Little Mothers. You are one of a kind. I could barely handle one at a time, much less two. I admire you....
Lots of Mommie and Baby Blessings on you both,
Heather
You need to consider all of us that are fascinated by twins or the huge belly's of mother's with multiples, as the freaks. We are fascinated by something we don't see every day, so please forgive us for being inquisitive. We really are admiring your precious babies and YOU for the job you do trying to care for two, when we found it difficult to care for one.
One thing I totally agree on, which happened to me often, is everyone wanted to touch my belly when I was pregnant and everyone wanted to touch my baby. It always seemed to be when they were sleeping. It never failed.
I came to the conclusion, that baby's are adored and show such innocence, that the people that always want to touch or talk about the pregnancy or the babies, are just glad that there is something so sweet and so innocent, to look at, in this very troubled world. Nothing is more pure than a pregnant woman and a baby. (s)
Please try to forgive people like me that are just interested in the miracle you are carrying and the even greater miracle that there is more than one baby in the stroller. We are just curious and amazed, but you're right, we have no business touching bellies or babies, without your permission.
I am guilty as well, for asking whether it's a boy or a girl, when there is clearly a pink bow protruding from the baby's little tuft of hair. Forgive us all. I really believe that people such as myself are trying to show you how delightful it is to see a pregnant woman or her new twin babies, rolling down the street in their new stroller.
Best Wishes Little Mothers. You are one of a kind. I could barely handle one at a time, much less two. I admire you....
Lots of Mommie and Baby Blessings on you both,
Heather
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