Anxious

[Clysta]

Does anyone else start to get really nervous before labour? It's not the idea of it that scares me. For some reason the last week I've been paranoid something is wrong and somehow I'm going to lose my baby. I don't know why I keep thinking this, but I do. She's not moving as much, but she's never been horribly active so that's not really changed. The appointment yesterday showed there was a heartbeat, though it took time to find it. (which didn't help my fear in the least) Is there anything I can do to stop myself from freaking out completely?

[Cassandrajane]

I was meant to say COULDNT give birth 18 times, not could LOL.

Everything is gonna be okay :)

x

[cherylsangel]

Clysta, I am totally in the same boat as you. I am due in 4 weeks and all I can think about is I wish my lil guy would come now because everyday he is in my stomach I get more nervous. I too worry about stillborn and true knot of the imbilical cord. I know we as mothers worry constantly and as soon as he comes out I will continue to worry, but I just want him safe and sound in my arms!

[ammanda]

I had the same worries when I got close to my due date. But like you said, we read to much into all the news and stuff and it really gets to us.  Like being on this website and hearing all the awful things that some of these woman have gone through really terrified me, cause its like I got on and it was something new everyday. but I had to keep telling myself, its very rare and this website is world wide. millions of different woman.  But like everyone has said its all very natural to worry and its true you will never stop worrying.  My DB had lost a baby boy at birth 3 years ago this September, and I am good friends with the girl he had the baby with, and we both got pregnant together. she was due a month before me. and it terrified us, I couldn't imagine DB going through that again, and I couldn't ever go through that, and she was pregnant again too and I didn't want her to loose another baby, so my whole pregnancy was just so stressful, worrying all the time.  but we both gave birth to 2 healthy beautiful babies, so DB and his ex got a second chance and I got a beautiful baby boy!  But it never goes away, I swear the morning he was born I didn't sleep all week, I spent all night making DB get out of bed to make sure he was still breathing and stuff.  lol. And he is almost 4 months old now, and now I worry even more.  

As to all the other ladies comments about families,  I don't think I want anymore babies, and neither does DB.  but you never know that could change in a few years, but no matter what I refuse to have one before Cole is three, and anytime after I turn 25.  After 25 i am done whether or not I have anymore or not.  When Cole is 18 I will be 38. and if I have a kid before I'm 25 they i will be 43.  That seems perfect for me.  

But as for now Im set on just having one child, but I do want a lil girl, but I have to remember just cause I want one don't mean I'm gonna get one, I could have another boy.  lol..

[Clysta]

I'm not too sure what I'll do in terms of more kids. I never wanted them growing up and then I met my fiancé and that changed. Now I don't want more than one, but who knows. I do know that Im past 25 or 30 though, I don't want anymore just because I too want to enjoy things. If I only have this one, I'll be 40 when she's 20. I'll still be young enough to enjoy life and (hopefully) have the stability to do things I can't do now. It's the perfect plan for DF and me.  

[Ashelen]

LOL Clysta..I'm taking the option away from myself at 30...Dh is getting snipped after I turn 30 because I could see myself getting empty nest syndrome some day and starting all over again but I really need some point in my life where DH and I focus on just us and enjoy what we've worked for.

[Cassandrajane]

I could giive birth 18 times. One of the babies she gave away (The woman who uses her own eggs) actually gave away what ended up being her own baby. Her husband caught her ovulation date Whoops LOL...

I'm not really the type who goes out and things, only cause I have responsibility of my brother and sister 6 days a week as well as a full time job. So I have NO clue what I will be like in the future, I still gotta telll my mum I cant have my  brother and sister once my baby is born without her saying I am selfish and horrible again.

But Ashelen you are very good and very planned out :)

x

[Clysta]

Ya never know though Ashelen...maybe after that third one you'll want more. ;D

[smjmekg]

There ya go Ivy! That's exactly how we planned it too!

[Ashelen]

Nah Cassandra that just isn't me...I'm done after 3. no way no how. I want to go out and party after my husband retires, lol. we decided to start a family young so we could retire young and enjoy the golden years...you know, when you're old enough to appreciate the things you didn't appreciate when you were young, but you're still young enough to actually enjoy the things you're just starting to appreciate.

anyway...you'll be great, Clysta...deep breaths...and if you're ever afraid, call your midwife...speaking to them should reassure you :).

[Cassandrajane]

:) That's what we are here for :)

x

[Clysta]

Thank you for the support everyone. :)

[Cassandrajane]

Wowah! But then again the other week I was  watching a programme where people are addicted to being surrogate mothers, and as soon as they give birth they wait a month and do it again. One woman has been a surrogate 18 times!

Clysta you're going to be amazing, from what you said ealier this year based on your family. You know what you're doing, you have such strong maternal instinct and you will just know straight away! :) I have faith :)

x

[smjmekg]

You're only kinda crazy Ivy, BUT you're so right...

It's totally amazing!!! I'm so ready for this baby girl to come out and plan for number three, I want four!!! DH says he's done after this one, but I have a feeling I can get him to change his mind!

[Ashelen]

It really is THAT amazing :).

I've got to give my body a bit of time to get healed though, so it'll be awhile before we TTC #3...

but yes, it's fantastic. the whole experience is a miracle and a gift.

You'll be just fine Clysta...it's definitely normal to have those fears leading up to delivery. I remember worrying that I would have a stillbirth with Kahlan and when she came out and took a bit to breathe because her lungs were full of fluid I was absolutely horrified...but then she cried and all the weeks of fear and all the stress and paranoia melted away.

[Cassandrajane]

I haven't had my baby yet. But I am gonna speak as a paranoia sufferer.
To help with it, basically you just gotta be like, I am strong and Ive gotten this far in life and obv pregnancy. I have been given the most beautiful gift in the world. And I have faith deep down that everythings is going to be okay... I can do this.

from my brothers and sisters coming into the world, (I have more of them than I do animals) Its the most amazing thing ever. And the outcome is just WOW. Although I am scared and getting Physcological help for my Paranoia. I just gotta think to myself, this is my chance to show everyone I am strong, and I can be an adult. You've gotten so far and been through ALOT with your family. And to me you seem so strong and you can do this, sometimes all you need is a little faith and reasurance.
And we are all here to give you that anytime :)


And Ashelen ready for number 3 already! Woah! :) Is it really that amazing?

x

[smjmekg]

Clysta~~~You're going to be a great mom! That last sentence you wrote proves it without a doubt. I'm sure she'll be just fine!

[smjmekg]

Ok Ivy, now you're crazy! LOL. That's a really good phrase, I've never seen it from Joy, but I like it. It's brings up a very valid point. Life does change quite a bit once they're on the outside. I was torn between wanting Elijah to inside and be outside at the end. Inside you're keeping them safe, but you don't know what's going on in there...outside you can see they're ok, but the second something happens you wish you could have protected them! The joys of being a mom...

[Clysta]

I think I just scare myself with horror stories of people who get to term and then lose their baby or give birth to a stillborn. I keep telling myself it won't happen, but the what if's start to creep into the back of my mind. I just wish she was out so I could see she's ok, but at the same time I know I'll probably worry just as much then too.

[Ashelen]

I'll borrow one of Joy's favorite phrases here...the best thing to do is to remember that making it to term and giving birth to a healthy, happy baby is the RULE to pregnancy, not the EXCEPTION..so try to relax and enjoy this last little bit of in utero bonding time...the whole world changes once baby's on the outside ...but it's so freaking beautiful...I'm already ready to go for #3 LOL.

[smjmekg]

I had a scheduled c-section for DS being breech, which scared me less than the vaginal delivery because I knew he wouldn't be getting stuck, or not tolerate labor. I worried until the day I had him. I think it's just a normal thing we as moms go through. Women look at parenting way different than men do, and I think it's just in our nature to worry. Try not to so much, everything will be fine I'm sure! Just keep telling yourself that and the more you do the more you may calm down some.