Aa
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Im 18 years old i graduated high school early and im currently in my second semester in college and i live with my mom. Me n my boyfriend have been together for almost 2years and he is 18 n still in high school. I just found out im 3weeks and 2days pregnant n i want to keep the baby but i know my mom will kick me out. I just started a new job and i already know that i cant go to school work and take care of the baby and my bf still being in high school doesnt help very much either. I feel like i have no choice but to get an abortion my bf tells me he supports any decision i make but i dont think its fair to have a baby that i cannot fully support i just really need advice!
My fiancé had to go through an abortion with his ex gf, due to her ectopic pregnancy ending in miscarriage, and her not ready to go through that again. He says it was the worst mistake he ever made. My best friend in the world had an abortion because it was early in her relationship and she wasn't ready to be a mom, nor was she sure she could even carry to full term. She also regrets doing so. I don't condone or judge women for having an abortion, but I could never do it. I knew that even before I got pregnant. I'd also advise adoption if you feel like you can't give your baby what he/she will need. It may be hard, but I strongly suggest you don't have an abortion as that will be a tough emotional struggle to live with the rest if your life wondering "what if I kept the baby?"
As for your mom, tell her. She may be angry at first or disappointed, but she's your mother and I'm sure she loves you enough that eventually she would come around.
Ultimately it's your decision in what you want. Good luck and I hope for the best for you.
As for your mom, tell her. She may be angry at first or disappointed, but she's your mother and I'm sure she loves you enough that eventually she would come around.
Ultimately it's your decision in what you want. Good luck and I hope for the best for you.
You at least have a good 7 1/2 months before the baby arrives,you have a job, start putting money aside now,even if its just $20 a pay check its something,if your boyfriend will support any decision you make then he can get a job too.you have so much going for you,you have a job,graduated and you are in college,you are doing alot better than most and having a baby wont stop you from doing any of that,it will certainly be hard but it is possible.i find it helpful to right down lists or goals,make a plan,you say it wouldnt be fair to the baby if you cannot support it,but to abort it certainly wouldnt be fair either.please take time to think by yourself and decide what you really want to do,and think about it all the way to the end,because the last thing you want to do is look back and be regretting the decision you made for the rest of your life
This is one of my favorite topic to respond to.
I'm 17 & had a non-surgical abortion at 16 seven months ago. I have a boyfriend of 3 years & he's 19. It was unexpected because doctors told me I couldn't get pregnant. & my dumba$$ believed it & risked it by having sex with no condoms or protection. I found out when I was like 5 weeks. I was feeling preety bad. I couldn't eat & I was weak. I knew it was cause of my illness. I was sick, but didn't wanna believe I was pregnant. It took me 5 pregnany tests to make me believe. So we decided abortion was the option. Adoption wasn't an option cause I know once I saw my baby, I would've want to keep it. & I wouldn't want to see another family raise MY baby!
We finally went to the clinic. Oh & I didn't mention it costs alot to make an abortion. The surgical abortion costs $400 & non surgical costs $500. I chosed the non-surgical just cause I was scared to put to sleep. So we got there. They took me in. Had to first make a vaginal ultrasound to be sure I was pregnant. I was 7 weeks by that day. The doctor gave me a pill to take which is to stop the pregnancy. Then they made me wait in the waiting room. They finally called & gave me to packs of pills. One of them had I don't remember how many pills, but alot. Another had just 4 pills. I had to take one when I got home & ate dinner. Then I had to take another one at 9pm. That one was suppose to make me bleed in the night, but it didn't. The next day I had to take one in the morning. Then I had to take those certain four & place them in both side of my gums for 30 min. Then 30 past & you just swallow whatever you have. Those are the ones that's suppose to make you cramp, bleed , & well basically lead you to a miscarriage. After 10 min I was bleeding like I nevet bleeded before , had the worst cramps ever , & even started throwing up. Uggh it was the worst pain of my life. The whole day I was in pain & bleeding. Then at 9pm I had to take the other ones. Then thats preety much what it had to happened. The rest of the pills you keep taking at the hours they give you.
I had a chekup 2 weeks after & when I got there I was still bleeding. The doctor told me I bled so much that I could've died by loosing alot of blood. Luckily I didn't. She had done another vaginal ultrasound & said I had a blood clot stuck in my cervix thats why I was still bleeding.. She gave me two options if I wanted either more pills or to be put to sleep. I chosed pills since I was still scared to be put to sleep. Then another doctor said I couldn't get more pills cause of the chancr of them not getting all the blood out asap so I had no ther choice but yo be put to sleep. It was a 10 min procedure. It wasnt even all that bad, but someone had to take you home in a car after. Luckily I had my boyfriend :)
So if you make the decision to abort, I say choose a surgical one & it costs money so think about it. I dont think you should do it though. I regret my decision 100%. I would've rathered died for my baby , than he or she dying. I think I chosed it cause I didn't know anything about it. I did no research, the doctors did not tell me anything , so I didn't know sh!t. If someone would've told me that it causes you to be depressed, I wouldn't have done it.
Oh & I didn't mention my family did NOT know a thing about it. So I have no support whatsover. Only my boyfriend's family knows, but they hate my decision. They think i'm a baby murderer. Yeah that ***** right?!
You're young, but at least graduated. Hun you can do it. I really wouldn't want you to loose your own baby. It is very devestating & you always feel guilty about it. But it's your body * if you choose to do it, then do it. Only you can decide what you wanna do for your body , but i'm telling you now that you're gonna have to deal with all of it. :/
I say you keep your baby. Tell your mom if she can help. Hun your mom might be mad at first, but she will have to get over it. Tell your bf to get a job & you can also get a job . You can always do it no matter what. It might be hard, but at the end you will be happy you had to see your baby live.
I support any decision you make :) i'm pro-choice , but not for myself. I would personally never do it again.
Good luck & keep us updated :)
I wanna know what was your decision & if you need any help on all this, feel free to message me
I'm 17 & had a non-surgical abortion at 16 seven months ago. I have a boyfriend of 3 years & he's 19. It was unexpected because doctors told me I couldn't get pregnant. & my dumba$$ believed it & risked it by having sex with no condoms or protection. I found out when I was like 5 weeks. I was feeling preety bad. I couldn't eat & I was weak. I knew it was cause of my illness. I was sick, but didn't wanna believe I was pregnant. It took me 5 pregnany tests to make me believe. So we decided abortion was the option. Adoption wasn't an option cause I know once I saw my baby, I would've want to keep it. & I wouldn't want to see another family raise MY baby!
We finally went to the clinic. Oh & I didn't mention it costs alot to make an abortion. The surgical abortion costs $400 & non surgical costs $500. I chosed the non-surgical just cause I was scared to put to sleep. So we got there. They took me in. Had to first make a vaginal ultrasound to be sure I was pregnant. I was 7 weeks by that day. The doctor gave me a pill to take which is to stop the pregnancy. Then they made me wait in the waiting room. They finally called & gave me to packs of pills. One of them had I don't remember how many pills, but alot. Another had just 4 pills. I had to take one when I got home & ate dinner. Then I had to take another one at 9pm. That one was suppose to make me bleed in the night, but it didn't. The next day I had to take one in the morning. Then I had to take those certain four & place them in both side of my gums for 30 min. Then 30 past & you just swallow whatever you have. Those are the ones that's suppose to make you cramp, bleed , & well basically lead you to a miscarriage. After 10 min I was bleeding like I nevet bleeded before , had the worst cramps ever , & even started throwing up. Uggh it was the worst pain of my life. The whole day I was in pain & bleeding. Then at 9pm I had to take the other ones. Then thats preety much what it had to happened. The rest of the pills you keep taking at the hours they give you.
I had a chekup 2 weeks after & when I got there I was still bleeding. The doctor told me I bled so much that I could've died by loosing alot of blood. Luckily I didn't. She had done another vaginal ultrasound & said I had a blood clot stuck in my cervix thats why I was still bleeding.. She gave me two options if I wanted either more pills or to be put to sleep. I chosed pills since I was still scared to be put to sleep. Then another doctor said I couldn't get more pills cause of the chancr of them not getting all the blood out asap so I had no ther choice but yo be put to sleep. It was a 10 min procedure. It wasnt even all that bad, but someone had to take you home in a car after. Luckily I had my boyfriend :)
So if you make the decision to abort, I say choose a surgical one & it costs money so think about it. I dont think you should do it though. I regret my decision 100%. I would've rathered died for my baby , than he or she dying. I think I chosed it cause I didn't know anything about it. I did no research, the doctors did not tell me anything , so I didn't know sh!t. If someone would've told me that it causes you to be depressed, I wouldn't have done it.
Oh & I didn't mention my family did NOT know a thing about it. So I have no support whatsover. Only my boyfriend's family knows, but they hate my decision. They think i'm a baby murderer. Yeah that ***** right?!
You're young, but at least graduated. Hun you can do it. I really wouldn't want you to loose your own baby. It is very devestating & you always feel guilty about it. But it's your body * if you choose to do it, then do it. Only you can decide what you wanna do for your body , but i'm telling you now that you're gonna have to deal with all of it. :/
I say you keep your baby. Tell your mom if she can help. Hun your mom might be mad at first, but she will have to get over it. Tell your bf to get a job & you can also get a job . You can always do it no matter what. It might be hard, but at the end you will be happy you had to see your baby live.
I support any decision you make :) i'm pro-choice , but not for myself. I would personally never do it again.
Good luck & keep us updated :)
I wanna know what was your decision & if you need any help on all this, feel free to message me
I got pregnant when I was 17 and had an abortion. I will forever regret it and hate myself for it. I'm 25 now and not a day goes by that I don't think about it. Please highly consider adoption over abortion
If i was you i will tell my boyfriend to get a job and you guys save your money up then tell your mom. i believe you can do it. I thought my mom would kick me out too but she fully understood. and i am now 14 weeks. working an in school an I'm a single mommy
Just make sure you stay in school. If you do decide to keep your baby it would be hard to raise him/her on a mininum wage paycheck. You need a career not a job if you wanna make sure yall all have the best in life.
I personally think the choice is yours and yours alone to make. Making the choice to have an abortion is a difficult one, but having a child you can not care for is also a difficult situation. This is a subject that many have very strong feelings about. Maybe you should talk to some one from planed parenthood. They can give you all your options from an unbiased stand point. Good luck either way you will need positve support.
What the baby is at this point is in the eye of the beholder - not science. When I was pregnant with my 2nd son I had to have a us done so they coukd confirm pregnancy... no he didnt look like a baby and even though they told me what I sas wasnt a heartbeat but blood flow patterns, I personally saw a baby and a hb and I was under 6wks pregnant. Anything that people for abortion tried saying about pregnancy that early was wrong to me. Now Im not 100% against abortion, it depends on the reason its being done.
Adoption is a better idea in your situation. Sorry if it seems like Im forcing this idea but another mom on here did point out there are families out there who are dying for a child yet they cant have one. But here you are with a life growing inside of you that other women cant acheive. Why throw that life away? I know that you will feel as though you will want your baby back, but there are support groups out there that can help you through that rough period.
As for your mom, not telling her will make you feel far worse than telling her. And she might be able to help you make a decision also. At least you your bf wouldnt be alone.
Adoption is a better idea in your situation. Sorry if it seems like Im forcing this idea but another mom on here did point out there are families out there who are dying for a child yet they cant have one. But here you are with a life growing inside of you that other women cant acheive. Why throw that life away? I know that you will feel as though you will want your baby back, but there are support groups out there that can help you through that rough period.
As for your mom, not telling her will make you feel far worse than telling her. And she might be able to help you make a decision also. At least you your bf wouldnt be alone.
Your mom will understand. There are many places that can help you with clothing, car seats, beds etc. The one thing a child needs the most is love. I was 25 when I got pregnant, about to start teachers college, still living at home. My parents today are still my biggest supporters. Life will always have obstacles, but everything is manageable. Getting ur education is important, with that you can support your child better in the future. Hang in there.
Really you're the only person who knows what is best for you.. Adoption is a really good option and keeping the baby is an option too, it'll be hard but it is doable even when you think you won't be able to provide for it you will figure it out.. Abortion is another option and I just wanted to say that just because I or anyone else tells you that it is wrong doesn't make it wrong for you. I personally wasn't able to go through with it, I really did think long and hard about it with this one I'm pregnant with now, but in the end I couldn't go through with one. I was a bit further along than you.. You say you're 3 weeks is that correct? That early in the pregnancy it isn't a baby it's a zygote the type of abortion procedure they would do for you is give you a pill to take, not totally sure about it so do some research on the matter. I'm sure a bunch of people may get upset for me saying that, but we are all entitled to our own opinions and it doesn't make anyone of us any better or worse for the opinions that we have and also what is right or wrong for one person isn't right or wrong for another person. I recommend talking with a doctor about it first though, they will be able to better help you understand all your options so you can make an informed decision. And remember in any case you will be fine and you will get through it.
I really don't think you should go for an abortion, but this Is juss my personal opinion as I'm against It except for certain circumstances. You know what the outcome Is of havin' sex and It's not fair to the child to juss be thrown away and killed since you and your boyfriend wanted to have a lil' bit of fun. I'm not tryin' to be mean or harsh and I apologize If I come off that way, that's juss how I think of It, so I'm truly sorry If I offended you. My baby wasn't planned, but I couldn't think of the possibility of killin' him when we created him In the first place...
I'm 19, been with my boyfriend for 3 years and been livin' with my boyfriend since I was 18 so my story might be a bit different. My boyfriend and I both work part-time jobs makin' a lil' bit over the minimum rage In our state. We suck with money and we struggle to pay the rent and bills every month but there are support systems out there. WIC, Food stamps, Medicaid, pregnancy crisis centers, etc. to help you out. I've gotten on every one of those and went to those centers with very, very, little help from my parents and my boyfriend's sister and I literally have everythin' now for him at 34 weeks without even havin' a baby shower (which can help out with Items as well). You can take online classes If you don't want to give up college and your boyfriend can always try to graduate school early and find at least a part time job for now (whether It's before or after he graduates) and save up as much as you guys can. You can apply to low Income housing and find a decent place for the both of you to live In with enough room for a baby If your mom kicks you out, but you do need to tell her.
I was terrified of tellin' my parents as well thinkin' they wouldn't support me, but In the end after havin' the storm blow over, they do support me and they love their unborn grandchild already. I didn't tell my parents until I was 4 months pregnant and that made It even worse, so you should tell her very soon. It might be hard at first, but It's not Impossible. It's really up to you though and what you think Is best. I wish you the best of luck.
I'm 19, been with my boyfriend for 3 years and been livin' with my boyfriend since I was 18 so my story might be a bit different. My boyfriend and I both work part-time jobs makin' a lil' bit over the minimum rage In our state. We suck with money and we struggle to pay the rent and bills every month but there are support systems out there. WIC, Food stamps, Medicaid, pregnancy crisis centers, etc. to help you out. I've gotten on every one of those and went to those centers with very, very, little help from my parents and my boyfriend's sister and I literally have everythin' now for him at 34 weeks without even havin' a baby shower (which can help out with Items as well). You can take online classes If you don't want to give up college and your boyfriend can always try to graduate school early and find at least a part time job for now (whether It's before or after he graduates) and save up as much as you guys can. You can apply to low Income housing and find a decent place for the both of you to live In with enough room for a baby If your mom kicks you out, but you do need to tell her.
I was terrified of tellin' my parents as well thinkin' they wouldn't support me, but In the end after havin' the storm blow over, they do support me and they love their unborn grandchild already. I didn't tell my parents until I was 4 months pregnant and that made It even worse, so you should tell her very soon. It might be hard at first, but It's not Impossible. It's really up to you though and what you think Is best. I wish you the best of luck.
I'm 18 and about to finish high school. I had my son a month ago. Me and my parents had a very bad relationship and they have always drilled it in my head to not get pregnant. And I did I thought they would be so mad and when I told them they were pretty disappointed but they got over it right away I mean there is nothing they could do about it except accept it. And they are my biggest supporters now and love their grandson. You never know how she will react. But if you want an abortion that is your decision and don't let anyone make it for you. Being a young mother is really hard but it is so worth it. Abortion or not you need to really think about it before you make any decision. Good luck :)
I was in a similar position with my first. I had her my second semester of college. Her father had graduated high school and also in his first year of college, so not the exact situation. I was living with my dad, and I was TERRIFIED of his reaction. Eventually I had to suck it up and tell him. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. He asked where I was going to live, but didn't tell me I had to leave.
Telling my mom was also scary. She never wanted kids and had wanted to have abortions with me and my brother (she got pregnant with my brother while in the Pill, and with me after having a tube ligation). Her reaction when I told her? She was worried that my butt would get huge! It was SUCH a relief having told her, and not suggesting an abortion.
If she had, I wouldn't have listened. My daughter is one if my best decisions. It was hard going to school with a baby, and I wasn't working. Her dad worked two jobs and went to school full time to support my daughter and I. You are still early, you have time to make it work. Your decisions are not limited to abortion or adoption.
Best of luck!
Telling my mom was also scary. She never wanted kids and had wanted to have abortions with me and my brother (she got pregnant with my brother while in the Pill, and with me after having a tube ligation). Her reaction when I told her? She was worried that my butt would get huge! It was SUCH a relief having told her, and not suggesting an abortion.
If she had, I wouldn't have listened. My daughter is one if my best decisions. It was hard going to school with a baby, and I wasn't working. Her dad worked two jobs and went to school full time to support my daughter and I. You are still early, you have time to make it work. Your decisions are not limited to abortion or adoption.
Best of luck!
You don't know how shell react until you tell her. Your her baby and yes at first she's going to be hurt and disappointed but she wi calm down just give her time. Then have her help you in your decision because she's going to put you and your future first.
Maybe talk to your mom about helping you raise it? And if your bf is done high school soon then maybe he can get a job and be able to support you , just be open with your mom and talk about all of your options
Thank you guys yur advice really does help n dont want to give my baby up only because im going to want my baby back n i cant imagine the hurt he/she will feel growing up. My mom is not the most understanding person i just dont know how or when to tell her.
Thank you guys yur advice really does help n dont want to give my baby up only because im going to want my baby back n i cant imagine the hurt he/she will feel growing up. My mom is not the most understanding person i just dont know how or when to tell her.
I don't believe in abortion but that is my personal choice. You are so young sweety. I had my first baby at 16 and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. He's 9 now. This is something you really need to be honest with your mom about because no matter what you choose to do you are going to want your mom there. Only you can decide what to do. Have you thought about adoption? Keep us posted on what you decide to do...wish you the best.
Have you thought about adoption? There are a lot of families out there that I'm sure would love and support your baby if you feel like it would be the better option. I had an abortion when I was a teen and I totally regret it now. I felt like I killed my baby so I wouldn't have to change my life. I currently have a 7mo old daughter and #2 on the way and I can't imagine killing them. Just my thoughts and regrets I wanted to share. Its ultimately up to you but I wish I had done adoption.
You can always give your baby up for adoption. It can even be an open adoption so you can see how your baby is being raised. Im sure if you explain that to your mom and ask her for help looking for parents she will understand.
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