OT: starting school (kindergarten) and children born later in the year

[Limonada]

I also posted this on the Parenting Toddlers forum, but I know (and respect) so many of you ladies here that I thought I'd also post it here :)

My oldest son will be 4 at the beginning of October.  Where we live, children are required to start school (kindergarten) by age 5.  As a supplement to this, there is a program called Junior Kindergarten that starts in September of the year that the child turns 4.  Meaning that my son will still technically be 3 when he goes to JK.  Here, the cutoff for when children would be required to wait until the following school year to enroll in JK is December 31.

We registered our son for JK back in February.  He's experienced some speech delay (which has not been linked to any other condition, he's been to speech therapy and has made great leaps and bounds and has pretty much caught up to his peers in that regard).  Last October, we moved him from a home based daycare to a formal daycare centre and that, combined with the speech therapy, has contributed to this improvement, my husband and I believe.  

He's social and bright, based on our own observations, and the reports we get from his daycare centre confirm this.  We feel that he's ready for this next step.

Lately, I've been reading articles such as the one below  

http: // www.theglobeandmail.com / life/family-and-relationships /back-to-school/ parents-of-kids-born-later-in-year-face-tough-decision / article1680493/     (REMOVE SPACES TO VIEW)

that suggest that it would be "better" for children born later in the year to wait to start school until the following year and that there is a higher incidence of diagnoses of ADHD and such disorders in children born later in the year because they are not on par with their peers that are born earlier in the year, maturity level-wise.  

I truly do believe that my son is well enough equipped to attend school .  We've been working with him at home on skills that he'll need at school in order to help prepare him, and they do the same at his daycare.  I believe that it's also up to the teachers at his new school for September to manage any gaps that are there, between children born earlier in the year and children born later in the year, to a certain extent.  

What are your experiences?  At this age, a few months can make a huge difference in terms of development....and holding a child back a year isn't necessarily going to help since that same age difference is still going to be there a year later....and I don't think that things "even out" until a child is older, like 6 and up.

What is better:  to risk the child experiencing lower self esteem because he/she cannot perform tasks as efficiently/successfully as his/her older peers (as described in the article above), or risk lower self esteem by holding the child back?  

[tiredbuthappy]

Oh yea, and while there is no doubt that you know your son best, it does not mean you know what is realistically expected of him in these situations. And that is where we struggle with parents. I would never presume to know a child better than his parents, but I do know better what those teachers provide or don't provide. A mom knows her child, but doesn't know how her child compares to others his/her age in a situation.

The biggest complaint we get from the kindergarten teachers is that the kids we send are not ready socially/emotionally. So most of our curriculum emphasis is actually on that. A child can memorize his ABCs in a weekend. I have seen it. But that same child could not handle sitting in a large group activity. Or he would have melt-downs if someone didn't pass the ball to him. So, while he was bright and memorized all he needed to know academically, he was not ready for kindergarten.

[tiredbuthappy]

I teach 4 and 5 year olds. We very often see that the younger ones in the class, especially boys, are not emotionally ready for the challenges of kindergarten. I am a big advocate of Junior Kindergarten. It is not being held back, or repeating materials, but rather being exposed to new and different things in a developmentally appropriate manner. The JK is much more likely to into consideration the developmental differences within the classroom. Many K teachers try, but they are pretty much having to teach a first grade curriculum (due to push down of curriculum) so they are often overwhelmed. And of course, there are always those older/ more traditional teachers who will not make the effort to modify their curriculum to accommodate the needs of the younger ones. In an ideal K, in an ideal district, your son would do OK. But those are few and far in between.

You have the option of giving your son the chance to be a leader and shining or the possibility of establishing a pattern of struggling. I recently spoke to a mom whose child i recommended for JK. She had been so upset and hesitant at first that I suggested it. She thought I felt there was something wrong with her son. She is now eternally grateful for the opportunity her son has. There is no stigma attached at that age.

My brother benefited from a transitional first grade. After completing K, it was clear that he was not emotionally ready for 1st grade. It made a world of difference, and he is now a lawyer.

K is very different than when we went to school. They are expected to be reading by January. I was just learning my letters!

I wonder, is it possible for you to tour the 2 different programs? It may help to see the difference. Also, I would speak to the kindergarten teacher. She would probably give you honest input.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Studies or no studies, YOU know your son best.  If you truly feel he is ready, give it a try.  You can watch his progress and see if it's beneficial or not and take action from there.

[Ashelen]

Kahlan will turn 5 about 1 week after the cut-off to start school the year she turns 5...we've decided to wait and not enroll her early because, as my dad said, you don't get any awards or recognition for starting early. you don't cut any breaks....I was younger than most of my peers, and while I kept up fairly well, it was very tough...and going to college at 17 put me at some serious disadvantages socially. So we've decided to let Kahlan be one of the older kids in her grade instead of one of the younger because my experience, while not negative, proves that I don't think it makes much of a difference.

I think there's a serious benefit in being more mature and experienced than your peers, and NO advantage to being less of both.

I am also a strong proponent of "children should be allowed to be children"....my BIL and SIL (you know how I feel about them Jen LOL) sent their 2-year-old to a pre school and they withdrew him after 6 months because they realized that their 2 -year-old didn't need to be learning addition...I mean, it's good to give your children academic and intellectual advantages...but In my opinion, this can be done from home if you research techniques and are consistent.

[Limonada]

Thanks to all who have responded so far!

Yes, here (Ontario, Canada) we have JK or Junior Kindergarten (which is, I guess, pre-K) for kids who are 4 or will be 4 by the end of that year (so JK for next year is for kids born in 2006, anytime during that year) and SK (Senior Kindergarten) for 5 year olds (once again, for kids who are going to turn 5 anytime during that academic year which runs Sept-June).  Each school board runs things differently:  ours offers all day every day kindergarten, half day every day kindergarten and every other day kindergarten.  DS' school does half day every day which I'm happy about since it'll promote continuity but, being a half day, won't be too taxing or overwhelming.

If DS wasn't in a structured daycare environment where he was already expected to take turns, line up, sit still for circle time, etc. then I think I'd be more worried about him and how he'd do.  In JK, he's going to encounter kids who have never been away from Mom or Dad before or another close caregiver like a grandparent, and since those kids "tend" to have a harder time adjusting to going to school because the whole notion of being away from home (or another family member's house) is foreign and scary to them, he's going to be ahead of the game in that regard, at least......

[smjmekg]

OOPS! Hit enter and it posted too fast... wanted to add in that I was a "teacher" for half a year in high school at an elementary school, and I was in a K class. We had one little boy who was barely at the cut off for turning 5 who ended up being held back and going through K again because he just couldn't sit still and do anything really. He wasn't autistic or anything like that, but he hadn't learned much, and just wasn't where he needed to be to move on.

As far as the lower self-esteem, I don't really see how that plays in with a 4/5 year old. I mean, I can see it to a certain degree, but I think 4/5 is too young to be worrying about it. What I would be most worried with is if he's like AHP84 said, and the little boy in my K class...if YOU feel he is ready, or if you don't think he'd be cooperative except for knowing that it's expected and possible consequences to his actions if he wasn't acting as he should. The little boy from my K class was getting in trouble a lot, but it wasn't fully his fault. YES he should have known better than to do some things, but YES he wasn't as mature as the other kids...if I were to have been his mother, I would have considered waiting another year to let him go to K. I don't know what her situation was, maybe she put him in school because she could no longer afford day care, or something, but if it were me I would have waited...

Good luck deciding what to do!

[smjmekg]

It's up to you on what you decide.

I don't have any experience with it yet obviously since DS is only 2, but I found it interesting that you can put your child in school at 4. Where I'm from, not sure if it's state-wide or if it's just the county, but your child has to be 5 BY I September (I think the 14th is the actual date) to be starting K, or they have to wait until the following year. My sister had to wait because her birthday was September 17. So she started school older than both me and my brother. She was about to turn 6 and since my brother and my birthdays are both in April, we were five for most of the school year. She has always done better in school than both of us, but I can't say that's the reason why. BTW the school year ran Aug-May.

[AHP84]

The decision is entirely up to you, but, as a parent of a child who is a November birthday, I can tell you my experience.
My son is academically ahead of most kids his age and he is also very good with his speech and social skills. When he was about to turn five last November, I know full well that he could have academically handled a Kindergarten curriculum. I considered pushing for him to get into K, but after really thinking it through, I decided to wait. The reason why is because his maturity level just wasn't ready for it.
If he absolutely HAD to, he'd agonizingly follow directions to sit still in a chair and do schoolwork, because he knew what was expected of him and how to behave, albeit that would come with much whining and complaining, which of course led to lack of focus. When he WANTED to do it, great--and he'd do phenominally. But even though he *could* academically handle the work, the fact is that most of the time he didn't have the focus to *want* to do it. With that, I didn't want him to end up hating learning because he felt forced into too much structure.
At the time, his pre-K class had structure and they were learing a K level curriculum (he just started K last week and he's ahead of the curriculum at the moment), but the structure of the classroom was such that learning things was either in short time periods or very hands on and interactive, and included two snack times during the day, a 2 hour naptime, and I think three or four recess breaks.
His K class now has a little more structure, of course. But in short, I couldn't imagine being his teacher in that setting last year; I would have gone insane, lol. His maturity level has developed immensely in 10 months. He was eager to be in "big kid" school this year and have more responsibilities, when last year, he didn't have a clue how to handle that type of maturity and responsibility. He could hardly sit still for 10 seconds, and that's no exaggeration.
I *could* have started him in K at age 4, and he would have been 5 in two months time, but it's taken him 10 months of being 5 years old for him really outgrow acting like a toddler in many aspects. He has so much more self control now (most of the time) and a longer attention span (most of the time) and a deeper understanding of how his actions affect others. I'm positive he could have made it last year in K, but it would have been a rough year, because he was still transitioning in his behavior from being an older toddler to a young boy. He knew how to behave, it's just he lacked the attention span and maturity to behave with a deep understanding of his own actions, if that makes sense. He's doing wonderfully in K so far; and it is good that he has a bit of an advantage to his academics from having a great pre-K education and school. The fact that he is a little ahead of the game right now is helping to boost his confidence as he makes this big transition in his life from pre-school to "big kid" school. :-)

So that's my story. It's really how well you feel you know your child and how confident you feel in their abilities. Boys don't mature as quickly as girls and lack impulse control, especially when they're under a lot of stress. I'd say if you are certain he can handle it, go for it! If not, holding him back won't disadvantage him at all, though.
Best wishes to you!

[LauraB78]

Personally, I would send the child to school. I would monitor progress and at any given time, if you feel the benefits do NOT outweigh the risk, pull your child out and try again in the Fall.. I think there is more harm done with children whom are bored than stimulated. Just my personal opinion though. =) Best of luck!