Pregnancy Headaches

[jessbbg]

Rose and Martika -

Well, I've had the random twice a year type migraine before, and occassional tension headaches like everyone, but this pregnancy first differed the most from my last one in that 1. I was beyond exhausted and 2. I was getting a lot of bad headaches that felt like severe tension headaches, sometimes crossing over into migraine intensity and sensation... But then, my whole world turned upside down...

Around 16 wks I actually developed a rare neurological disorder called Cluster Headache Syndrome, it's not like any other type of headache including migraine (there is no "being still" or caring about quiet or lights---you literally go insane trying to bash your head in to make it stop).  There is no known trigger other than alcohol, and the syndrome has a very distinct pattern, where you will suddenly start getting them, have several a day every day (some people's come on a schedule, mine are random), they last anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 or 4 hours, and then one day they stop and your cluster period is over for God knows how long until it starts up again someday... some people have a few month's relief... some ten years... rarely, it is chronic instead of episodic, and those poor people never get relief, it just goes on indefinitely.  The average cluster episode is usually around 12 weeks.

They think mine is actually triggered by the pregnancy and won't stop until i deliver, but they think it won't come back either.  There is no effective treatment for the headaches (i was dosed 8 times in the ER with IV morphine and it didn't TOUCH the pain)... The only thing that finally helped was breathing 100% oxygen at 15 liters per minute for about 15 minutes.  Apparently that "aborts" the attack and cuts it short.  That's the only treatment/help i have.  Some people get decent control over the length of their cluster cycles and such with the injectable migraine meds, but i can't take them since i'm pregnant.

So there it is, in a nutshell... We've tried everything we can think of, but sex has had no effect, nor has diet or anything else.  The only thing that has helped is learning coping skills for dealing with the pain (and the fear that accompanies).  

I'm not able to work because of the headaches, so i sit at home depressed most of the time.  So it's hard to feel vibrant or sexy.  And since it's also killed my ability to be the gym-rat I always was, i feel even more fat and unsexy.  

And a couple of weeks ago, I started itching really bad.  It's getting worse, and now it's keeping me up at night.  I'm destroying my skin with incessant scratching but I can't help it, it takes everything in me not to scratch my flesh straight off, but sometimes I just can't help it and start scratching.  so i've given myself a rash and bumps and all that from scratching.  

now my partner is just in that "i just want this over so you can feel better" place.  he feels helpless and knows how miserable i am, so it doesn't exactly put him in the mood.  

add to that all the stress we're going through, with the job changes, and moving and having 2 mortgages and now *his* job may be at risk... it's just hard, y'know?  i love how the sex feels, but i'm self-conscious about my expanding body and the appearance of my skin (my legs are completely ravaged), and he's worried about me and jobs and mortgages...

bleah...

[jessbbg]

aw, thanks, rose---i appreciate it.  the headaches actually hardly phase me anymore.  i can't remember what it was like to not have them, it's just become a normal part of my day, lol.  

i'm almost 29 weeks, so yeah, a little more than two months left.  but if this itching turns out to be the "cholestasis of pregnancy" they are testing me for tomorrow, then it says the treatment is to deliver early---like 36 weeks!!!  that makes me nervous and adds a whole new layer.  

I'm sure we will be fine financially, it's just worry and juggling.  My disability is going to run out soon, and he worked for one of the big banks, so he just took a new job to avoid a likely layoff... but there is a battle going on internally and the execs want to outsource what he was just hired by IT to fix.  So if they win, he's jobless afterall... it's a little ridiculous, lol.  he left his dream job and dream boss for stability's sake, and now the stability is gone.

We were one of those progressive couples livin' in two cities, his job in Jacksonville, mine in Orlando, but with the baby that will just be too hard.  So if you know anyone who wants to buy a house in Orlando or a Condo in Jax, lemme know!  lol

[GRose]

Oh hun, I know how serious your headaches have been (if you can even call them that). I was more just throwing it out there cause I recently read that in a pregnancy newsletter.  I know you have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of them.
I hope everything works out for you guys financially.
Only about 2 more months right? You will hopefully be back to normal soon!