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171768 tn?1324230099

Why breastfeeding failed

This poll is only for those who chose to breastfeed (it is not intended to be a debate about breastfeeding!) In order to help me become a stronger CL, I would like to get a realistic picture of some of the reasons why breastfeeding "fails." Feel free to answer the poll anonymously, or to post your story. . Choose why you feel you had to stop sooner than you would have liked. Since I could only add 8 options, but could think of many more, please feel free to elaborate or add your own. Thank you in advance for your help
28 Responses
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167 tn?1374173817
PS-I also wanted to say that I do understand that there are times when there are medical reasons that do really affect things. Especially when it is physical reasons in your child. My first son was born with many issues and needed a major surgery when he was one day old so I had to pump before I could nurse him for 3 weeks. It was not easy with him either, but we managed. It is a HUGE commitment for us but so worth it!
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167 tn?1374173817
Wannabeamommy0124. I commend you for recognizing that in your sister even though you have never had a child of your own yet! I have to chime in here and hopefully I don't make people upset but we are designed by nature to feed our babies and I can guarantee every single one of us, if put in a position without pumps, bottles, people influencing us and even resources to help that we would succeed at breastfeeding because we would HAVE to. Formula companies and bottles, etc, etc...make it very easy to give up. I'm not knocking people who tried hard and couldn't make it work. BUT, I had SEVERE issues in the beginning when I nursed my son who is 9 months old and is still nursing and we survived it! I cried and cried for days and weeks and EVERY single day I wanted to quit but we persevered and made it through!! ONE MORE DAY I kept telling myself. ONE MORE DAY. I pumped PURE blood, gave him bottles of my milk at just a week and a half old, nearly lost my nipple due to his poor latch and sucking issues, but kept going!! We tried nipple shields, aerators, different styles and sizes of pump shields. We ditched the bottles after I started healing and then it started all over again when he was about 3 or 4 weeks old. His latch issues were severe and I bled and nearly lost about a half of my nipple again! I'm talking, it was a flap of thick skin that was coming off and my nipple was just hanging there. I quit nursing on that side to allow it to heal again and just used the other side that worked better, but pumped after I would put lansinoh on really thick to hold the blood back but allow the milk to flow through. We tried again and we FINALLY got it. It hasn't been easy! I've had to give up plans, bring my pump with me if we are going to be gone for more than 3-4 hours, and stay close to home most of the time but it is for my baby that I do this. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad or guilty about the decision you have made. I'm just trying to allow others to see that it CAN be done even if you have severe issues.
Those first few weeks were TORTURE for us. I was bound and determined not to have to buy formula though and not to fail. I am very stubborn!! It paid off!
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1244180 tn?1325899111
My two boys did not like my BB's so I pumped instead....
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1128483 tn?1277340286
I marked supply problems but wanted to elaborate on it due to the brad nature of that statement.  The real reason I had to stop was bad advice from my family dr concerning birth control.  I trusted that my dr knew what he was talking about when he told me the pill wouldn't effect my supply.  Once it was too late I talked to a few different LC's and other professionals and breastfeeding friends, all of which said it was most likely the pill that caused it.  After switching to the mini pill I was able to get my supply back up.  However because I didn't have a good supply during the entire first 3 months it made it harder for me to keep my supply up when I got the flu.

Since then I tell everyone I know who is interested in breastfeeding to talk to a LC about any medications they may need to see if there safe or would effect the supply.
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171768 tn?1324230099
About supply... I *think* that when it is said most women have the supply, it means that most women have the biological ability to produce sufficient milk, given ideal circumstances, including social factors and an efficient nurser. This is why many women can't nurse one baby but are successful with the next. Stress can definitely affect supply significantly. I've seen firsthand the affects of minor stress on a well established supply. Some women simply don't produce anything when they pump. My dd's babysitter tried every pump available for months but couldn't get a drop. Still, once the baby learned to latch months later, they nursed for years. Someone may have a great supply, but if the baby has a weak s.uck like mine did, the baby will not get the milk and the supply will not be established. I wouldn't have known there was a problem with her if the LC hadn't evaluated her.
In a perfect world, without stress, where moms aren't juggling work and home, where babies know how to latch, where there is support for the nursing mom, then most people should have enough milk. But we're definitely not in a perfect world, so we just do the best we can. The good news is, even those who only nursed in the hospital gave their babies a huge advantage.
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Avatar universal
TIME was the issue. juggling life, work, and BFing....there just weren't enough hours in the day. I made it 13 months and would have preferred longer. I agree there was a lack of support at the hospital and the pediatrician. I had good family support.
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I had to stop BFing my daughter because I lost so much blood during delivery (nearly died from blood loss actually) that my supply never came in fully..my body was just incapable of building up a supply. after over a month of pumping between every feeding, hand expressing, supplements to build supply, daily trips to see a lactation consultant as well as several-times-a-day calls to a la leche league lady...I finally gave in. I was crying every single time I BF because my daughter wasn't getting enough food so she was feeding EVERY HOUR AND A HALF...after a month. and she was crying because she was hungry..she would feed for 30-45 minutes, and then be hungry within half an hour..I was already so exhausted from the blood loss that i literally could not do it anymore. and during the day if she was active near when she turned 1 month she would literally stop feeding long enough to wave her hands in the air, look around, fidget, and then she would have metabolized the milk already and be hungry again...it was horrific.

I felt like such a failure...I couldn't handle losing the bond and the special time and I was convinced I was a failure as a woman and a mother....

Luckily I got over that, and my daughter is now a very happy and healthy almost-2-year-old who has never been seriously sick a day in her life.
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1124862 tn?1303850973
yea it would have... but i hope when she decides to have another baby she thinks things through!!
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Avatar universal
I wish I could have been that full!!!! I missed that special one on one time with my boys. It was the only time I got to actually spend more than a second with each boy. Of course while I fed one at that feeding the other got a bottle (which was breast milk...till I dried up.) :o( I hope she realizes how lucky she was to produce that much. It would have been a great bonding time for her and baby.
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1124862 tn?1303850973
not a mom yet myself but i voted for my sister.. and her option wasnt avaliable... and i know this is sad... but her option should have been laziness... shes my sister and i love her but she was just plain lazy... she did not want to take the time to sit and feed my nephew... it broke my heart because she produced lots of milk... but she would take the pain when she was full and not even pump... and then it just dried out.. i told her soooo many times it would be a great bonding experience but she really could care less... dont get me wrong she loveeeess that little boy... but being her snotty self BF wasnt an option for her..  
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171768 tn?1324230099
thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I know it is a very sensitive subject. Your input will help me help others tremendously.

I know when my first was born at 36 weeks, i had never heard of exclusively pumping. In fact many many people, including on these forums, said it was not possible to sustain a supply while pumping. I used to get very upset by people who kept saying that if you work hard enough, nursing will work. My baby's problems were not the type that could be easily overcome, and it wasn't like I wasn't trying! So, I am a bit more sympathetic to the fact that sometimes it's not as magical and natural as one would think. Even with my second, who was a great nurser to start, nursing failed. She had severe reflux (worse than any my seasoned pediatrician had seen) and colic. During her colicky hours, the thrashing and screaming made nursing impossible. And since at it's worst, the colicky period was 7 hours a day, we slowly lost our nursing. Her sensory issues that came with the colic were so severe that she could only eat while swaddled tightly and in a swing. Not very practical for nursing. Luckily, I was blessed with a great supply and have a great pump, so I was able to pump for a very long time with both.

Keep it coming ladies! Thank you!
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Avatar universal
I had twins...they literally sucked me dry by 4 months. lol.
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99457 tn?1321878677
my option wasnt there! I breastfed Lily exclusively for 3 months, she wasnt putting on enough weight, it was very stressful! We were advised to supplement with the formula after every feed and she started gaining weight again, when it came time to stop using the formula she kind of went the other way, every time i put her to the breast she would scream and squirm and not go on at all. I think she liked the bottle too much because it was so easy to get the milk. So in the end she switched herself to the bottle :(. The doctor said i had alot of milk it just was not fatty enough!
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Avatar universal
It all began with horrible "support" at the hospital. Gave birth over the weekend my first two births so there was no lactation consultant. By the time I saw one I was waiting to be discharged and in complete pain. Nurses had NO IDEA what to do or how to help.

This third time I gave birth at a different hospital than the previous two. The nurses were trained in lactation support and there was a consultant available. They also had an overall huge breastfeeding success rate. When I got home a consultant called me to see how I was doing and to invite me to a support group (which I never went to).

I'm actually breastfeeding this very second and my little one is almost 10 months old. I'm very proud I've been able to overcome the latch issues and had better support this time around. A good start makes it so much easier.
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342647 tn?1291107933
hi, with my first I had to stop (after alot of thought, tears and indecision) as i had very bad PND and felt that the breastfeeding was a major contributing factor to sleep deprevation, anxiety - (being the sole people able to feed and nurish my child) and the worry as to not knowing when she would wake for a feed and how long i would get between feeds.  I stopped and she was fully weaned by 8 weeks.  I wish i had been able to stick it out a bit longer and that someone had told me that it would only be a few more weeks and the feeds would settle down a bit and not be so all over the place and include the cluster feeds of a newborn - however i guess i did what was best for me at that time.  
With my second i was determined to give feeding a better go but was also aware that my first had not suffered in any way (health, bond ect) from going on the bottle and that if i did get PND again i would once again have to do what was best for me in order to function and cope and be the best mum I could be.  Well as it turned out I was really lucky and did not get PND again and having a great supply and egar feeder who had no problems lataching on I was able to feed until he was 12 months when we weaned together with no hassles.  It was a fantastic experience and one in which i would dearly love to repeat.  But I will take each pregnancy and baby as it comes and just see what happends - good luck.
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598319 tn?1282102140
I am still BFing my 14 month old, but I'm voting for my sister who weaned early with both children due to severe, chronic thrush.  (There wasn't a great option for her situation but I chose "pain/exhaustion.")  With her first she stopped at around 8 weeks, 6 of which she and the baby both had severe thrush.  With her second the thrush happened again almost from the very beginning but she toughed it out for 4 months before finally throwing in the towel after 4 rounds of Nystatin, 2 rounds of Diflucan, and every home remedy she'd heard of (besides gentian violet).  It was so bad there were yeast cultures growing in her bloodstream and her doctor was threatening hospitalization.  

It was kind of bizarre.  

I also dealt with thrush for about 8 weeks, had mastitis 3 times, and when my period came back at 7 months PP, my pumping output dropped to nothing... but I managed to scrape by and we're still going strong.  
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184674 tn?1360860493
I didn't vote because none of the options really applied to my situation.
My first experience with breastfeeding didn't exactly fail so much as it just didn't last as and wasn't as successful as I would've liked it to be.
When my first son was born, he had latch problems and needed a nipple shield for two weeks, but the lactation consultants at the hospital were a Godsend. They had my son nursing like a pro with the nipple shield by the time we left the hospital, and they called me every week for the first month home, then once a month, to check in and offer me help if I needed it. They were fantastic.
However, when I had my son, I was a college student and had him in daycare all day, and classes scheduled at random times during the day. I had a manual pump that I was only able to use during the morning so I could send him to daycare with one bottle of breastmilk. The rest of the day he was supplemented with formula. I couldn't take my pump to school because I had no place to store the milk once it was pumped, nor any real time between classes. I was only able to breastfeed him during early morning hours, evening hours, and weekends (and I'd have to supplement formula during the day because I didn't have a full day's supply for him).
He also grew teeth at four months old and had quite an annoying biting habit that I could not seem to break, no matter what I tried. By the time he was about 6½-7 months old, he was only nursing once a day in the early morning before we woke up. At 8 months old, I had almost no supply left and the strength in his bite was getting much stronger, so I called it quits. I really wanted to breastfeed him longer, but it just didn't work out that way.

When my second son was born, he learned how to latch on about 10 minutes after he was born, and I've been able to exclusively breastfeed him from day one. I work full time, but I'm able to take time to pump at work, and there is a refrigerator/freezer to store it until I go home. My second son is almost 7 months old and still has yet to cut a tooth--can't say I'm in any hurry for him to grow teeth, lol! I'm really hoping I can continue breastfeeding him to 12+ months.
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1414887 tn?1287903364
I'm going to attempt breastfeeding but for my mom she couldn't breast feed me due to supply problems. So I'm hoping that don't happen to me.
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Avatar universal
I felt awful as well, It was hard for 5 months to try your best, and then just fail, on top of it, Bella was gaining weight, but not 3 lb/a month, more like the minimal 2lbs..... It was a mix of everything..... With my next child i SERIOUSLY hope he'll be one heck of a eater. And maybe my BBs will do better. The whole experiance was hard... I almost blame myself for BF for so long, and Bella not being a good eater.... But like i said she wasnt ever "hungry" she'd only eat when i had the reflex (milk coming).... and once that stopped she was done.....  Laurab78 Im sorry about that. One of my friends also had the same problem. She didnt produce a drop.
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Avatar universal
i voted supply problems which is what i thought was the issue at the time
I wanted to breastfeed and got on with it really well, but being out first my husband wanted to feed the baby to, so i bought a pump. Pumping worked fine for a while, then hardly anything was coming out when i was pumping (still breastfeeding also) so i figured my milk supply had dried up and went on to powder, this was after 4 weeks.
No one told me that it wasnt an issue with my milk, it was just that the milk pump wasnt strong enough to collect much milk.
Had i known this i would have been able to carry on.
I was very dissapointed, but i know better for next time.
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304970 tn?1331425994
I was unable to breastfeed at all. It wasn't my choice. I produced NO milk, I pumped, and put Jaxson to my breast in between pumping, and obviously was feeding him formula because I wasn't producing. I pumped for one week every 2-3 hours and produced NOTHING.. Not one single solitary drop of milk... I guess it just wasn't meant to be for me.My breasts were one giant, bloody, scabby mess. I couldn't wear a shirt in the midst of this disaster for 2 days.. (TMI?) It was heartbreaking for me. I felt like a failure as a new, first time Mom, and like my body had failed me. Breastfeeding is a fabulous "option", but I get aggravated at times because it seems many people don't understand how devastating this can be when it actually ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION for some women because they just don't produce AT ALL.. That's my experience.
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187316 tn?1386356682
If I had quit breastfeeding the first time around it would have been because of the pain and aggravation. In the very beginning I couldn't get her latch properly and thought she was going to starve. I actually cried myself to sleep the night I came home from the hospital because she had hardly eaten all day and I honestly thought she was going to die. Then once she got the hang of it my nipples hurt so bad I was sure they were going to fall off. After a while it ended up being fine and not hurting anymore but those first couple weeks were killer. I honestly had to force myself to continue.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Found that right after I asked, LOL.
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1194973 tn?1385503904
She's one of the CL in the breastfeeding forum. :)
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