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Avatar universal

circumsicion

I'm not really sure where to put this, but wanted to get any help on this situation. My husband is uncircumcised and doesn't like it at all. We had both pretty much agreed that if we have a son he will be circumcised. Though I wonder about later on when our son is growing up and wonders/questions why he looks different than daddy, what do you tell him?? I'm not sure how to handle that conversation. Any ideas/suggestions?? thanks!
Best Answer
1285850 tn?1291776435
I'll just tell my son that I did it because it's cleaner. If I have a son I am doing it not cuz of a religious/cultural thing, but for a cleanliness thing. If he asked why dads was different i'd just say cuz he his mommy and daddy didn't have it done. If he asks why, i'd just say it's like getting a haircut. "sometimes boys can grow thier hair out long, and the mommy and daddy want it long, sometimes we want to cut it short to keep it tidy" Thats why they're different.

But I don't think it'll be that complicated to explain.
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304970 tn?1331425994
I haven't read all the posts,nor do I intend to. I am willing to give my opinion TO THE QUESTION ORIGINALLY ASKED, which was.. How do I explain to my son why his penis is different that Daddy's? I would simply explain that different cultures and countries, as well as individuals, have different opinions on what a penis should like. I wouldhen explain it is a parents responsibility to do what they feel is the best interest of their child, and you and your husband (Mommy & Daddy) strongly believed this was best for him. Best of luck. And I am sorry people have gotten off topic and failed to answer your simple question. Especially when half of the crap posted is inaccurate in epic proportions. I am offended by so many of the posts on here. I will reserve my personal preference. Feel free to PM me if you want. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
646779 tn?1281996041
Circumcision is wrong - it is not needed, it is not natural, it is not as nature intended. Period.
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Avatar universal
That was a nice way of stating it. I already pretty much got the answer and have an idea of what I'd say, so the extra comments are just there. I find it a bit extreme that people have brought God into this. I don't know if I'd want to be in the room with my son when it happens for getting his circumcision, like you did with your sons. I can easily be around surgeries for who ever else, but with family it's very difficult for me. I get nervous! too many emotions. If it weren't my child, I'd be able to think more clearly and rationalize better. I easily did an IV for a little girl at work, but when my husband had to have his stitches removed that I was going to do it for him, that was hard. You're brave for being there the whole time.  
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184674 tn?1360860493
Right, and like I said, in the book of Romans (New Testament), Paul explains it's a law that is no longer required.
However, your statement was generalizing that, as God being the creator of the penis, does not want it circumcised ("God made penises a certain way, that is the way he wants them. If the foreskin was supposed to be removed God would have made penises with out foreskin."), when in fact, God also created the practice of circumcision.
It was a Jewish law, but also required of *anyone,* Jewish or not, who was/wanted to be a believer in God and establish a relationship with him in the Old Testament.
Circumcision was done away with after the sacrifice of Christ. But that doesn't necessarily mean that God is against the practice of circumcision today.
Anyway...off the subject of how God wants penises to look...it's a choice that a parent makes for their son and it is not wrong one way or the other. With or without the foreskin, a penis can still fully function as a penis, otherwise...a whole nation of Jewish people would not exist today. :-)
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Avatar universal
I know what the Bible says about circumcision. It was part of the JEWISH covenant with God. Circumcision is not "required" today in 2010. A lot of things happened in the Old testament that God does not allow/agree with today. Just think about all those men in the Old testament with more than one wife. God in the New testament said that it should be one man with one woman. Also animal sacrifices were made back in the Old testament to be forgiven for sin, we do not do that today.
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1222635 tn?1366396286
rebekah385...i like what you said and im glad you said it...i too took some offense to the statements about God.
might i remind yall that God was the one that initially started circumcision. If you go back to the Old Testament, God required that His people have this done, and anyone that didn't have it done was considered ungodly.
I realize this is from the Old Testament and was part of the old covenant, and no one that is uncircumsized nowadays is ungodly in anyway. my point is simply that it is purely FALSE to say that if God meant for penises to be cut he wouldn't have created a foreskin.
i think we can all safely agree that God knew from the start he would create a foreskin and then require His people to have it removed as a part of their covenant with Him. God would not have done this had He had a problem with it.
Just like people still take part in Jewish practices, there is nothing wrong with circumcision...the Jewish religion is simply where it orginated...please get your facts straight before posting something about God.
Helpful - 0
184674 tn?1360860493
Please refer to the Bible before claiming to know how God feels about circumcision, as you said, "God made penises a certain way, that is the way he wants them. If the foreskin was supposed to be removed God would have made penises with out foreskin."

Genesis 17 explains how God *commanded* circumcision to be done to Abraham (the father of the Jewish nation, God's chosen people) and his descendants so as to set them apart from other nations to physically and symbolically show the relationship (a sacrifice of sorts) between God and his chosen people.
Jesus, God's Son, was circumcised and given his name when he was eight days old (Luke 2:21). Jesus came to sacrifice himself for all people to have a relationship with God as the Jewish nation did.
In the book of Romans in chapter 2, Paul explains that the practice of circumcision was a Christian/Jewish law, but no longer takes the meaning of physically or symbolically showing the relationship between man and God, because Jesus made the sacrifice of himself to do that, therefore, circumcision was *no longer required* to show the relationship between God and man.
I know that really is off the subject of this post, but I wanted to chime in simply because I don't like to see God brought into an argument with the intent to say what he thinks or how he wants things, yet you've used nothing to back it up.
God had a *very* specific purpose for circumcision, and throughout the Old Testament, he required it of men, and in the New Testament, required it of his own Son.
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1262373 tn?1281543782
For those who think it's mean or whatever to circumcise a baby, they can numb the penis before the procedure so there is no pain.  Personally I think the numbing thing should be required, but it isn't and is only done when the parents ask for it.  Just so you know you can ask for your little guy to be numbed prior to the procedure so there isn't any pain.  
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1012334 tn?1283702979
I am not trying to start an arguement, and I feel that it is ok either way for a baby to be circumcised or uncircumcised. but as far as God having a problem with it, I take a little bit of offense God's son Jesus was born to a jewish family, so more than likely Jesus was circumcised, so I don't think it bother God that much or he would have had his son born in a different country! my family (my Dad and my Brother) are uncirumcised and I think thats fine, my husband and sons are circumcised and I think that is fine as well, i don't think that either way people should put other people down, we should just sgree to disagree!
     DoulaSummer-
I understand that you are very passionate about this subject, but you make it sound as if all mothers who get their sons circumcised, are either bad mother or uneducated about the fact, I did a lot of research before I got my sons circumcised and decided to get it done for a number of reason's, as far as the procedure taking "more than 2 mintues" I am sure that it varies from Dr to Dr and which time of procedure, I stay in the room with both my boys the entire time, so i know exactly how long it took for them my 1st son had a plastibel and the whole thing took about 45 seconds, they did not give him pain meds and he did'nt even cry, my 2nd son had it done the regular way and did get numbing stuff and a pain shot, I think he cried more from the pain shot than the actual procedure, although that procedure did take a little longer and was a little more bloody, once it was over he calmed right down and was fine. Oh and in both cases the hospital gave me their foreskin to either dispose of or keep, so they were not making money of selling my little boys parts! I also do not think that it is the same thing to have a little boy circumcised and to have a girl done, male circumcision is at times medically neccesary and female circumcision as far as i have researched is never medically neccesary it is just done so the the female can get little or no pleasure from sex! so there is a big difference.
mommytobe97- Sorry for going off topic with your post, i already responded to what you were actually asking and only that, I usually do not get invovled in theses thread as they become one big arguement, but some thigns were said that bother me, sorry to jump in. Good luck!    
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Avatar universal
There is no "perfect" way a penis is "supposed" to look. Every persons body is different. There are different shapes, sizes, etc., along with health conditions. People can choose what they want to do. I work in the hospital and I know the medical benefits of circumcision. If you choose to not do circumcision for your child, that's fine. Either way the boys can live normally.
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Avatar universal
I'm actually pretty surprised out how strongly everyone feels, almost up there with the abortion debate! This is SO much different though. Some people are misreading what I wrote. I said my husband is UNCIRCUMCISED and wished/wishes that he were to be CIRCUMCISED. He never said it was gross either way. There are medical benefits to being circumcised for men, as statistics have shown. And anything surgical will be painful, that's a given, but it's a short period of pain for life time benefits. It's a very simple medical procedure. I know that I trust the doctors I go to, so I'm not worried about having something go wrong with the circumcision being done. I did NOT take offense to what Ammanda had said at all, and I don't get why people take it SO personally. I actually found it weird before meeting my husband, it was something to get used to for me. I had never met an uncircumcised man before him. In the US, it's very common to get circumcised. The benefits are known and told to the new parents after a boy is born. This is a decision my husband and I already made, so no one is changing anyone's mind. I was only looking for how to tell my son(if I have one) who may be curious why he doesn't look like his dad.
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1123420 tn?1350561158
I did watch the video, and it was horrible.. I feel bad for putting my son through that,. but i still dont regret doing that, and no words, or videos will change my mind or opinion.  Like i said he will thank me later.  if ya'll lived where i lived you would know, that if it hadnt been done he would be made fun of his whole life and no one would want to be with him.. I hear stories all the time about uncircumsised men... and all the remarks they get, i would be devastated if that was MY son they were talking about.  ya'll may disagree and thats fine, your enitled to that right. But I dont care, i have never been one to care what others think.  I also dont want to agrue about this subject anymore...  And I did apolagize to Limonada for offending her, and I agreed I needed to think before i posted.  like i told her, Im not used to speaking to the whole world, and didnt have it in my mind that there are people out there not circumsised, cause like i said everyone here is.  So once again Sorry to any that i offended.  hope you can take that with a grain of salt and move on, cause id rather not carry on this thread.  
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Avatar universal
I agree with Limonada, that was very offensive. It is not gross to be intact it is NORMAL! That is the way a mans penis is SUPPOSED to look like. We as a society have really screwed up views on the way things are. Take women for instance we try every diet and every workout plan to become "beautiful" because society has decided that women should be bone thin. Our bodies are not made to be that skinny. We are SUPPOSED to have hips and thighs. My husband is circumcised and I let him watch the video of a circumcision and he said "no way are we doing that if we have a son" he even said that he wished he had the choice to be intact or not. Your son can wait IF he decides that he wants to be circumcised. Dont take the choice away from your son.  
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1123420 tn?1350561158
Why are people still posting there opinions on here?  she didnt ask for anyones opinions and she has made that clear a couple times.. She wanted help explaining it to her son if she were to have one..  EVERYONE is entiled to there opinion but that doesnt mean it has to be expressed. especially when no one asked for it.. be respectful please.  I will never regret getting my son circumsised.  and he will thank me later for it.  and dont say he wont cause he will.  where im from there isnt anyone that hasnt had it done.  and I know my son would be devastated if he was the one person that didnt have it done.  
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470885 tn?1326329037
I don't know how anyone COULDN'T take offence to what you wrote - my husband isn't circuncised either and I definitely don't consider it "gross".  Neither of my sons are circumcised either (my husband's choice - I didn't have a strong opinion either way)....and if they end up hating us in future because they aren't, well, then so be it.

Honestly....you need to think before you post!!
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Avatar universal
I dont understand why people want to cut off babies parts that belong there. God made penises a certain way, that is the way he wants them. If the foreskin was supposed to be removed God would have made penises with out foreskin. There is NO need for circumcision.

watch this video and you will never again think about doing it to your baby boy.

http://fr.video.yahoo.com/watch/163488/562046
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505857 tn?1329681517
i in all honesty think it should be left to your son to decide when he's older whether he want's circumsized or not, my partner has not been and it's not a subject that comes up much in Scotland but he is the cleanest person i have ever met, as long as your son is shown how to clean himself properly there shouldn't be any problems.

I also know of 2 guys who was circumsized one now has problems ejaculating during intercourse as he's lost a lot of feeling down there, but the other is perfectly healthy, and clean but i used to find it pretty difficult pleasuring him before i met my partner ( sorry TMI) i used to think i was hurting him.

i do agree with one of the other posts if your husband thinks not being circumsized is gross get him to try it out first and see how he feels getting a piece of his manhood cut off, i think i already know the answer.  But just think of your son's feelings and opinions before making any major and life changing decisions
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1035252 tn?1427227833
http://  www.  cdc  .gov   /hiv/resources/factsheets/circumcision  .htm

http:// www.  who.   int/hiv/topics/malecircumcision/en/

http://  www  .who   .int/reproductivehealth/publications/rtis/9789241596169/en/

I'm just saying it's not all hype. there have been studies done by some fairly reputable organizations that prove there ARE benefits to circumcision. that being said, it's a very personal decision and there's no reason to attack people here or call them ignorant. so stop, please. and summer...stating that "lack of parental involvement" is the reason for the rise in the trend of male circumcision is cruel, and completely your opinion. on the flip side...people who choose not to circumcise their children shouldn't be chastized either because it makes them out to be "freaks". just..let it go, guys. there's proof for both arguments.
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127529 tn?1331840780
It is true that in The USA lots of males are circumcised. World wide that is not the case.
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432779 tn?1364494875
This seems to be a controversial topic. I am from England where it is not commonly done and I chose to have my son circumsized and he is no worse for it. As far as parents making choices for their children what about those that choose to get there daughters ears pierced at a young age that is painful also but I dont hear anyone criticizing mums for doing that. Mommytobe was not asking for your opinion on circumcision she was asking for advise on how to tell a child, so If you dont have anything useful or helpful to say I dont think you should say anything at all.
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Avatar universal
Well I can see that you are very passionate about it, but it's not about the look. I can care less about how it looks, since my husband is uncircumcised. We both decided to do it for health reasons. I work in the hospital and have seen a number of boys who are uncircumcised come in with serious infections. I want to protect my son and doing this will help him.

I don't think anyone said anything about rectal or cervical cancer. I did talk about the statistical numbers of penile cancer being higher. And you can't fight the numbers.

The majority of boys/men are circumcised. Especially in California. I live there, too. The appendix did something back in the day, but no longer does anything. Hence why it can be removed with NO problems at all.

Hygiene is important, but even with the best hygiene many boys who are uncircumcised will many times still get an infection. My husband had a couple as a young boy.

I think you should re look up the information on what you know about it. It's still very much advised that it be done in hospitals. And it's done by the majority of people. I do not "spat words of hearsay" as you stated, and would like it if you could try to be more respectful. thanks.
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Avatar universal
Oh, no. I didn't take offense to it at all. Before I met my husband, I had thought of it to be weird/gross, too. haha. I had only known men that had been circumcised, like the majority of Americans are. Though my husband had come here from Mexico and it's not real common there to get circumcised. He does wish he was though. I feel bad that he gets annoyed with it, and had thought about getting it done now, but that would be too painful. It's just so much easier to get it done as a baby; less skin, less cutting.
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1163675 tn?1274627512
There is so much misinformation in this thread and it makes me very sad!  When you are going to make statement about rectal cancer and cervical cancer be prepared to show RELIABLE and RECENT resources from studies that factor in cleanliness and is not sponsored by people who adamantly oppose/support the procedure.

I think its disturbing that moms are so obsessed with the look of their son's penis.  I have also heard mother's (not in this thread) express how they like how a cut penis feels versus and uncut penis.  Who are moms to make a choice for the partner(s) of their sons?

The majority of boys are NOT circumcised.  In the next few years its estimated that over 65% + of boys will be left intact.  That is the majority is untouched and left whole.  This will increase more and more as insurance companies cover the procedures and some hospitals stop offering to do it (which is happening in a lot of places).  

The appendix serves a purpose, therefore it is not just some part that is cosmetically taken out.  There is information showing it can play more roles in hormones and secretions as well.  It used to be thought that the gallbladder was useless as well. but we now know that is not a fact.  Sure we can live without the appendix, but to date there is no study that covers patients over a lifetime to see effects of removal.

Circumcision became mainstream because of lack of parent involvement in teaching proper hygiene and for no other reason.  There is still some skin when a penis foreskin is cut and can cause just as many problems when proper hygiene is not taught.  Removing of the skin causes the glans to toughen and becomes less sensitive over time.  Its a fact, loss of sensation is a big part.  That hospital who had the cleanliness issue in their paper work is severely outdated and needs to be sent more accurate and current information because they are lying to their patients.

There is nothing "easy" or "2 minutes" about the process.  I have watched too many of them and it never gets easier.  The pain is similar to the fingernails being pulled from the nail bed.  The foreskin is attached to the glans and penis and is literally ripped away and cut off.  The foreskins are then sold to cosmetic companies for use in products such as lipstick (true, look it up, hospital make money off selling boy parts).

I am passionate about treating our boys and girls alike.  We cringe at female circumcision that removed the clitoris hood (same as removing foreskin from the penis), but since its on a girl its worse and should be outlawed?  I am very adamant that we should not treat the bodies of our boys and girls differently.  I am more passionate about passing on correct information, not spatting words of hearsay.
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982214 tn?1471454781
I agree with doulasummer and ashleigh...i am totally against it but it is a personal choice. There is no proof one way or the other that it is "cleaner" that was something they did to the troops in the 1st and 2nd world war when it was impossible to keep clean in the trenches. Living in a society now where water is running from the taps and people clean themselves daily it is no longer a worry.

If this is a choice you make, by the time the child can tell the difference they probably won't be standing around naked together. As for in the locker room it was about 50/50 when my son was born 10 years ago and now it is more to the no side, but i doubt he will have questions for you then!!
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