Pregnancy Expert Forum
unable to bond
About This Forum:

This forum is for questions and support regarding Caesarean Section , Childbirth, Diabetes, Depression, Fetal Monitoring, Genetic Testing, Hormonal Changes, Labor, Lamaze, Morning Sickness , Nutrition, Parenting, Prenatal Care, Weight gain.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
This expert forum is not accepting new questions. Please post your question in one of our medical support communities.
Blank Blank

unable to bond

i am currently 12weeks and i already have a 2year old out of wedlock. My first child's father left us before he was born and being a teen mum i struggled alot now i my patner of 2years told.me he never wanted to marry me at all... Thinking of how i am gonna raise my kids on my own and finish a degree is putting so much pressure on me to the point i am not even able to bond or love my unborn baby... Can i plz have some advice ladies feeling really deppressed
14 Comments
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
If a man will not be there for his children then they are not needed in your life, your child will always be yours no matter what happens they will be there with you during your ups and downs and you just have to love them! A man can come and go but the fact that you are pregnant and do not need this stress maybe its time for a break, this is my first child and im scared to death! But i already love him or her! Its a little miracle growing inside you and that baby is going to love and depend on you no matter what. Ive been depressed to but recently i found some suppory my family is always there but all i hear from the fathers side is what im doing wrong but you cant let that change your feeling cause i know im going to be a good mom just like you its gunna be hard raising a 2year old and a baby but thats what im doing, i take care of my 1 1/2 year old nephew all the time, its hard cause he plays rough around my tummy but you just gotta step back and see that these are just little angles from above here to make you a stronger person :)
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Your only 12 weeks give it time. I wasn't exactly excited to find out I'm pregnant with #4 just sress of not having a car/home big enough having 2 in diapers. Then I found out he could have DS. I feel stretched thin as it is w working full time taking kids to practice,home work,dinners now a new baby possibly w downs. So wasn't feeling like I was bonding either then he gets bigger n stronger n I feel him move all the time and after it all sunk in I know I love him no matter what he needs me and I need him! It took a while but I'm finally there. I hope things go better for you.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I hope it gets better too
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
People can say they feel your pain but I can honestly say I really feel your pain!!! I couldn't bond with my little 1 because I thought about having an abortion so I felt so guilty. I felt horrible. Abortion came to my mind because I found out the dad needed to see a therapist so I couldn't deal with him. I had to stop thinking about him and myself. I struggled for this entire pregnancy but now I love this little girl with all of my heart. Pray to GOD and ask for strength and complement yourself. Talk to your baby and sweetie trust me anything is possible when your focused. You already KNOW you want to go to college. Let no one or nothing be your stumbling block. Inbox me talk to me and we can exchange numbers if you need to vent but trust me you can achieve your goals!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Im.sorry :( if the guy cant help with raising the baby then tell him ok nice to know you and now you'll be paying child support for the next 18 yrs im.sure you're just really stressed right now and worried about what happens when the baby gets here i was in a situation where i went omg! Did i rush things??! About a month after i found out i was 7 weeks pregnant but that got resolved and now im.still worried about things but i am so in love with my daughter and cant wait til she gets here next month :) maybe try talking to your dr about a low dose pill for stress maybe it'll help. Hugs!!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Girl I'm so sorry. I just found out I'm pregnant again too already 14 weeks and I have an 11 month old baby girl. My baby daddy told me he never wants to marry either. It's hard I haven't bonded with this baby what so ever. I'm just nauseous and exhausted to the point I can hardly move off the couch. At the same time tring to complete my nursing degree.. Stay in there times is tough but they always turn up <3 were still young just think of what a milf you will be
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Im right there with you luv. Im 12 weeks pregnant and I have a 5 yr old. I got pregnant with my first in high school and seemed to immediately adapt n love my baby. This pregnancy, the father walked out and I havent hearf from him since. Ive thought about abortion on many occasions. But even tho ive thought about it, I cant go through. So I take this pregnancy as a blessing and even tho I havent fully accepted this pregnancy, I know that soon enough I will. And soon enough you will too. Just know that you are a STRONG WOMAN and you CAN do this with or WITHOUT him.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Im right there with you luv. Im 12 weeks pregnant and I have a 5 yr old. I got pregnant with my first in high school and seemed to immediately adapt n love my baby. This pregnancy, the father walked out and I havent hearf from him since. Ive thought about abortion on many occasions. But even tho ive thought about it, I cant go through. So I take this pregnancy as a blessing and even tho I havent fully accepted this pregnancy, I know that soon enough I will. And soon enough you will too. Just know that you are a STRONG WOMAN and you CAN do this with or WITHOUT him.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Stay strong and remember things will work out. Youve done this once already and you can do it again. Your stronger then u give yourself credit for. Men come and go but out little angels are the reason we get.up in the morning, thr reason we struggle through each day to make it.home to.them, the reason we are the woman we are today. You dont need a man to mkae I happy you just need your little angels. dont feel bad about not bonding wirh your new baby, in time u will. Stay strong u can do it!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
My 1st child is 7 now and her dad passed when she was 2, so far since then i have finished my Bach degree and I'm 6 classes away from my masters degree. Now I am pregnant 20 weeks and i just put my ex fiancee out but if Im going to do it alone I figure Id rather be alone then to be in a arguing relationship where I have to raise him and my daughter plus the baby on the way plus look after his son from a previous relationship every weekend after working all week and going to school.  YOU CAN DO IT is my point.  I am still trying to get happy about this 2nd baby but its funny how things work out. GOODLUCK AND REMEMBER YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Ddon't feel guilty at all that you haven't "bonded" with your 12-week fetus.  Some women don't really bond with their babies until months after they are born.  At 12 weeks, the reality of pregnancy can still be sinking in, and you're still on the border of the danger zone when miscarriage is common.  It's completely understandable that you might ave mixed feelings if this was an unintended pregnancy, and especially with the issues of the father not wanting to marry you.  Does he just not want to marry, or does he not want to be together anymore?  I know a few couples who have children ad very strong relationships that last a lifetime, even if they aren't "married" according to law.
Blank
5597934_tn?1373540464
Don't worry you'll get there I'm having my second child I'm also on married so I made it very hard to bond my so I made it very hard to bond my unborn baby now I'm 26 weeks and I can say things gotten better I just especially when the situation is less tha especially when the situation is less than perfect
Blank
4583720_tn?1356811441
i would sue these bums for child support.  They might think differently about their responsibilities.  They should be helping you.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel. My first daughter was an accidental pregnancy and the guy bolted not long after he found out I was pregnant, then I got with my now husband and he raised my daughter as his own, now my daughter is 2, I'm due the 28th and my husband kicked me out of our trailer when I got pregnant. I have no GED, no car, no job and was forced to move across the state in about 2 days. It is extremely difficult but keep your head up, somehow everything's gonna be okay. Being a mom, you figure out how to make it for your kids. It's lonely and painful and at times you just want it all to end, but it will all work out. Surround yourself with family and friends that care about you and your little one(s). Feel free to message me anytime.
Blank
Continue discussion Blank
This Forum's Experts
603463_tn?1220630455
Elaine Brown, MDBlank
Elaine Brown, MD - BLOG
Billings, MT
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank