unsupportive husband

[StephRox13]

I'm not that far along & my last 2 pregnancies ended in miscarriages so I can (kinda) understand my husbands lack of excitement right now over this pregnancy. BUT.....he NEVER once has asked how I'm feeling. Not once. doesn't ask if want or need anything. Doesn't offer to DO anything, like cook, dishes, laundry, vacuum, ANYTHING. Because of the miscarriages he knows I need to take it easy but he doesn't step up to do a damn thing. We have a 9 yrs old son who last couple of nights is waking up in middle of night. Last night I got up, walked him back, tucked him in, sat with him for a bit, then back in our room he was. Did this about 3 times b4 I just gave up had him switch places with me so I could get some rest. Did my husband once get up & take turn with our son? No! did he offer switch places with our son? No. Tonight same thing but I just switched right away & now I'm venting in my kid's bed. Man I'm hot right now. I should be trying to figure out what my kid watched that has him freaked out but instead I'm pissed at my husband. Oh & to top it all off we have a cat. I'm not allowed to do cat box anymore. Husband hasn't done it or reminded son to do it. So the cat poops in the bathtub. Ok no big if she gonna poop somewhere other than her box, bathtub great clean up option for us. I'm outside raking leaves. I come in. Husband says "did u see what cat did?" I'm all yep. Did u clean it up? He's all "no but I will later." I'm all seriously? So i supervise son clean out cat box with towel over my face. Force my husband to pick up the poo in tub cuz I gotta go pee & hello shouldn't be inhaling cat poo smell or touch it which is why I cant clean out the box in the 1st place. Most pregnant ladies are weepy & sentimental (i was 1st pregnancy) this time I'm just I'm pissed. I'm angry, I'm mad. & it starts with my husband. He doesn't care. He just doesn't care. I can't force him too. Why should I have to ask him to help me? Shouldn't he care enough to just offer? Ok he never helped or did anything when I wasn't pg. I do every household thing. Everything. But  knowing your wife is pregnant & needs to cut back shouldn't he offer?  Oy!

[Mommy2Bagain]

Men are like toddlers you have to grab them from the the hand And explain what u want from him vary slow I hope everything works out for you

[anwright]

I feel  your pain. I was put on bed rest for a tear in my placenta and was on bed rest for 2 weeks or till the bleeding stopped. My 12 and 10 year old took turns taking off school to help me out my mom came over 3 times a week and helped and he did not a darn thing. I was still cleaning doing it all and one day I was not in the kitchen making supper the second he wanted it and he was mad said I GUESS ILL MAKE MY OWN SUPPER. So I say to you it could be worse. I am a stay at home mom my youngest is 2 my husband has said to me that I don't bring in any money so it is my JOB to clean up after him as if he was a 2 year old ( I mean he will take off his pants and just leave them on the floor for days if I don't pick them up they do not get picked up ). this is sad to say that this is my life but he does do some good too. But any way just tell him how you feel I have to tell my *** allot that he needs to help out or do this or that because he will tell me he is not a mind reader how do I expect him to know I need help. So maybe tell him and if that does not work kick him in the ***. hope I helped. Let me tell you this with my first son my water broke on our bed ( water bed ) and when I came home 3 days later because I hemreged( dont know how to spell it) I had to clean my sheets and bed before I could sleep because he just came home and closed the door said he just slept on the couch. SO like I said it could be worse.

[LittleBlondeMomma]

Good to get it off your chest, girlie. If ya can't vent too much there, vent here. All I can tell you is let it all out to your husband. Throw a few books in his face, not literally, and say "see what this says...it states the roll of the partner is..." You, my dear, don't need to be anywhere near a litter box let alone too much contact with the cat. Has he gone to any doctors appointments with you? Let your OB know the stress you got going on at home. They are pretty good at relaying a message. I had a few arguments with my other half. This is our first baby together (though we've raised step kids in our previous marriages). He called me lazy at one point. I have 5 autoimmune diseases and had a terrible time in my first trimester. Our roommate at the time had 3 cats. Our roommate was so lazy that my man offered to take over litter box duty bc it wasn't going to get done. Prob was he never remembered to do it & it got so bad the ammonia smell reaked! They also say not to be around chemicals that you clean with. I had to stay on top of him. Now, there were a couple times where he actually did it without me saying anything. Now that I'm well into my second trimester & away from the higher risk 1st trimester, I do some things myself with a mask on. Just me doing stuff pushes him to help. We have had a few arguments & I calling him a jerk, but things are getting better. I do have to remind him that baby can hear everything now. Also, that baby feels the effects of stress. I hope things get better for you. Voice yourself to him bluntly & talk to your doctor.