20 week baby

[Bori_Girl91]

I was 20 weeks pregnant when I was rushed to the hospital because my water sack was showing.  It did not break, and it was not leaking.  The doctor checked me and said that I was fully dilated.  I was in the hospital, in labor for almost 24 hours before I had her. My contractions were about 30 minutes apart when I first arrived. I just want to know if they could have stopped my contractions, so I wouldn't have had to give birth so early.  I heard him say that he could, but he didn't.  I just need to know because I lost my little girl, and I just want to know if they could have done more to save her.  She struggled to breathe for almost 30 minutes.  She weighed 9.7 oz and was 9 1/2 inches long.  Could they have saved her even though she was so premature?  Could they have stopped my contractions?

[NICU_Kate]

Anyone who wonders if their baby could have been saved despite being born earlier than 22 weeks, please read the entirety of my message. It may not be easy, but I am going to try to be as gentle as I can while being realistic.

No, your baby could not have been saved. And it would have been unethical for a doctor to try. It would have been wrong.

If you've never given birth to a micropreemie, then you've never seen what the interventions necessary to keep them alive look like. The ventilators that keep them breathing stretch and damage their lungs, leaving scar tissue that affect their ability to breathe for the rest of their lives. Their hands and feet turn black from a lack of circulation. Their skin is nearly gelatinous, and it's so sensitive that it tears and falls off easily. Being touched is painful. We give them so much pain medication that they become addicted to opiates, and even this isn't always enough to manage their pain. Their intestines can rot and die inside of them. The pain and the stress of what has to be done to keep them alive can cause the underdeveloped vessels in their brain to burst.

It's worth it for the ones that have a chance at surviving. But the ones that don't survive don't die dignified deaths.

Their kidneys shut down, and their bodies swell up with fluid that they're unable to process or excrete. When they crash, the attempts at rescucitation devastate their frail bodies. They don't just die. They suffer unspeakably before they do.

No baby has survived being born earlier than 22 weeks. The only baby whose parents claim they were born at 21 weeks was conceived via IVF, meaning that there were extenuating circumstances regarding the gestational age. In a conventional pregnancy, this baby's gestational age probably would have been counted as 22weeks or 23 weeks.

If your baby was born, and wrapped in a blanket, and lovingly cradled by you as she died, then she did not suffer. She knew she was loved. If doctors had tried to save her, it would have been torture for her, and then she would have died without ever being held by you.

[alisa202]

As you said you were only 20 week pregnant and you were rushed to hospital and had contractions. Generally, the chances of survival for a 20 week baby are very less. A 20-22 week baby can survive only when treated well or with extraordinary medical intervention. The survival rate of so premature babies is very low.  Your doctors must fail to provide you proper treatment. In your case, the doctors must have lack of medication or medical treatments or may be they genuinely couldn't help you as your baby is so premature.

[Amaka_Josephine31]

I was 20weeks pregnant when I went to parkland hospital dallas to complain of contraction. I was given IV fluid that made me dizzy and sent home with an open cervix, with d advice to be on bed rest.I also started bleeding after d doctor's pelvic exam, can t help wondering if she induced labour or abortion without my permission. I Came back d next morning with cramps n pains, d same doctor said I was dilacted by 2cm n was sent into early labour. Had a premature baby boy at 20weeks n uptill now I feel I and my baby was given medical injustice.my baby would v lived, if d doctor had kept me at d hospital on bed rest. It is so painful

[AmberLynnR1995]

I had a complete horrible experience. I found out I was pregnant for the second time and I was beyond excited. then I found out I was having a little girl and my heart seemed to beat a little faster every day. at about 12 weeks I would bleed here and there or get sharp pains and every time I called my doctor (obgyn & associates) they said it was normal. when I would go to the hospital (wellstar kennestone hospital) they would say the same. no matter how many times I told them something was wrong they just wouldn't listen.now mind you that my baby girl at every apptment was beyond healthy. she would kick flip dance anything you could imagine. until one day at around 19 weeks 5 days, I started having horrible pains like contractions. still doctors wouldn't listen. I decided to go to the hospital so me and my boyfriend are sitting in the hospital room while I'm in horrible pain. they give me medicine for pain but they don't help much. I go for an ultra sound and my babygirl is as healthy as ever. well about 4 hours into the visit a doctor comes in and checks me then goes on to tell me that I'm having a miscarriage. because I'm not 20 weeks its not considered a premature birth or still birth just a miscarriage. at this point I'm numb and it feels as though my heart just wanted to stop beating all together. alls I could think was this cant be right shes so healthy. they transport me to labor and delivery and a doctor comes in to tell me that the fluids I was leaking was not my water breaking. I though great finally some good news. well I went for an uultra sound there and the nurse told me that I had a bloodclot the size of a baseball right at the opening of my cervix and I'm 3 cm dialated. yet my girl is still healthy and fine. oh yea and I finally got told that I have placenta preva or how ever you spell it. which basically mean the sac my baby is in isn't on the side of my cervix its on the bottom.i was basically told that this clot was going to eventually open my cervix enough to let my baby fall out. well another day goes by and I had hope of course even with the negativity of the doctors. then the pain stopped. and I got out of the bed and couldn't stop peeing all over the place. I didn't understand, I was scared. well a doctor comes in and tells me it was my water. and I prayed harder than ive ever prayed in my life. harder than I prayed the whole time I was at the hospital. my chest felt like it wanted to cave in. and I don't know if it was me being in shock or what it was but, I couldn't feel the pain of labor any more. I just layedin bed still full of hope. even after everyone excepted what was happeneing I never gave up.. my son and my mother came to visit with my sister in law and I got up to use the bathroom like the nurse asked me to and as I sat down I felt pressure and a pop. no pain. I was confused and as I looked into the cup over the toilet I was peeing in I saw her. I screamed louder and harder than I ever had in my life. nurses and doctors rushed in and kept reassuring me that everything is ok. they cut my cord the last thing connecting my baby girl to me. something supposed to be done in delivery by the man of my dreams. but insteadthey cut it and took her and directed me to my bed. all I could do was cry and scream. I couldn't look at her father , I felt like I failed him for the second time. I felt like I failed as a mother and a women. my heart was heavy. then theyasked me if I wanted to hold her. of course I did. I had already expected to hold my stillborn dream, but to my surprise she was trying so hard to breathe. she was moving her head opening her mouth and her chest was moving like she was trying her hardest to breathe. I begged and screamed for the doctors to just try to help her. they refused and said they were muscle spasms. I knew they weren't. then they took her to weigh her and everything. my heart was broke it truly didn't want to beat anymore. I was still bleeding a very large amount laying in my bed. her sac with the cord was still inside me. the insured no matter how much I insited that it was normal. I made a weary joke to my boyfriend saying if they don't listen I'm gonna bleed to death. we laughed a little. then they bought my baby girl to me in a nice blanket. the nurse came in to talk about funerals. I didn't want to hear it I just wanted my dream back that's all I could think about. then the pain of losing her vanished out of no where and with her on my chest I felt peace. I turned my head and looked at her father and just starred. then it occurred to me. I was bleeding out right there with no warning. but its strange because I wasn't scared I was relieved. I wanted to be with my dream and see her breathe and be healthy. I felt the doctors and nurses doing everything possible they could. they tried to rip the sac out and detached the cord instead leaving the sac inside. by thing timemy angel was already in her fathers arms. as he watched me slowly try to drift away. they rushed me out and saved me. only when I woke up the pain was back and I remember asking god, why save me but not her. then days went on all blurring together. I had to plan my dreams funeral. I had to meet my boyfriends family for the first time at my daughters funeral. I had to watch my baby be put into the ground gone forever. I used to think I would just be able to go back to normal but a month after this night mare and I cant even look at her pictures anymore. I have nightmares everytime I close my eyes about that day. I want answers I want to know why they wouldn't even try to save her. even if statistically she wouldn't have made it. why couldn't they have tried. she wasn't a statistic she is my dream. & her name is Madalyn Rose Collins. and if its not ok to abort unborn babies then why is it ok for a hospital to tell me they wont help my baby because statistically she wont live, and just force me to watch her die? my daughter was not still born, she was not a miscarriage. she lived and fight her hardest, only to be left no other choice but to die because of statistics. am I alone in this?

[isis006]

i was also 20 weeks along, me and my mom went for a routine ultrasound to find out if i was having a boy or girl, instead i found out my cervix was completely dilated. they called it incompetent cervix. i sat in the hospital for 3 days, nothing happened. my baby just kept bouncing around in her bubble, happy, healthy, and hyper. they sent me home saying i would go into labor at some point and we could do it at home.. NEVER let them tell you that, you will lay in bed never moving, just worrying about whats going to happen, its an emotional nightmare.. almost a week later, i began to bleed slightly, had no labor symptoms, was referred to providence prenatal specialists in beaverton, or.. big mistake.. they were very impersonal, explaining things like i came in for a common cold.. they said it was against medical policy to save my baby since she was only 20 weeks, told me i was already in labor, and did everything they could to compel me to give up and just let my baby go. about an hour later she just kind of came right out.. that was my happiest and saddest moments of my life in one. ive heard of options to help delay birth so there might be a chance of saving the baby, i was offered nothing but despair and defeat.. after having her, the dr wanted me to stay in the hospital, but i just wanted to be at home with my family. i refused to stay. this dr was terrible at her job and just downright evil, she threatened me with a mental health hold and wrote in huge letters on my discharge paper that failure to stay could result in serious infection that can lead to death, but ive since learned thats not true if you have a complete and 'normal' birth (as normal as it could be ya know). she also made my mom wheel me out to the front after i refused to stay. they did nothing but treat me with disrespect. while i know a 20 week old baby will probably have many problems, i think i may have been given options if i was rich and went to a better facility... but a baby that premature is something we have to learn to accept as a terrible loss. no one will try to save them, no matter how confident we are that they will survive. medical facilities are more concerned with things we dont think about. if you have a baby that early, there will be major medical problems, which means, assistance from state funded programs for lifelong care, money from disability, basically, one more mouth being fed by the system... you ever notice how people with state medical get less care and options than someone with private insurance? these people arent here to help us, theyre about money, not care. during my whole ordeal, the biggest problem i had was how people treated me. they werent nice or sensitive to my situation. they said things to me like this is for the best, or you didnt need this headache anyway, or make sure you get an appointment for birth control so this doesnt happen again.. rude uncaring people! we have to accept this situation when it happens. when this happened, i wanted my little girl to make it so bad, but at the same time, i had to realize that if i tried to save her at that point, i might do more harm than good. she wouldnt be normal, she wouldnt be happy. she would live a miserable and dependent life.. that is why i accepted it. because i didnt want to do that to her.. but it was the people around me that made it hard to deal with. if people are rude and insensitive to you, it will ruin everything. if they do messed up things to you, seek other care and file a grievance against these people. you will be miserable enough after with no help from others, so dont let them help you along the path of despair that will follow. remember who you are, because you might begin to forget afterward. you will never get over it, but there is a way through it somewhere.

[Ambrelynn]

so sorry. Before 24 weeks gestation the babys survival is close to 0. Some babies have survived at 23 weeks but no earlier. If you're dilated fully and contractions are getting closer together labor sometimes cannot be stopped :/ actually I don't think it can be at all since usually they won't stop it of you're dilated past 7cm. ;/ talk to a doctor though I may be wrong! Again I'm so sorry for your loss!

[7preg3b]

I'm sorry I've lost two one at 19 and another at 20 weeks and no at that point there is no turning back.  It is contraindicated for a cerclage..  IT will get easier as time goes on but you will never forget your angel. I'm sure they are playing together in heaven now..    

[rebekah385]

I am very dorry for your loss. I have had a premature baby and a late misscarriage as well, with my premature baby they were able to slow down my labor, but not stop it completely and I was only dialated to a 3 when I got there, they do have medications they could have given you to try and slow down or stop the labor, but since you were fully dialated there was pretty much no chance that they could have actually stopped or even slowed thigns down much, also being that dialated there even if they had been able to stop it you and the baby would have had a very high chance or very bad infection. some babies can make it at 22 or 23 weeks, but even then there are a lot of problems and a lot don't make it. If you get pregnant in the future though, since you will have this history there are steps that can be taken to help get you to full term or atleast farther along, I was put on medication to stop labor and bedrest with my 2nd baby, they can also stitch you cervics closed, ect. there is hope for your future babies!

[squirtatious]

I am so very sorry for ur loss!!!!!! *rip baby girl* did the hospital staff take any life saving measures to save ur baby AFTER she was born? Like oxygen, etc?

[Heily]

Hi, first of all Im so sorry for your lost. I had a similar cituation about 4 years ago, but my baby was 18 weeks and I saw the sack when i went to the restroom and rushed to the hospital. Unfurtunalty there wasn't much the doctor could of done, at that stage the baby is not fully develop and will not survive. one thing i will tell you is that if she was around 23 weeks usually thats when doctors will try to do their best to help the baby, and then again i tell you this from my own experience. 2 years ago i had my baby boy and he was born at 23 wks and they were able to save him and it was hard to keep him going but he made it. One thing i can tell you to find out why this happen and if you have a risk of this happening again, i will recommend next time when u are ready to ask your doctor to place a cerclage, that will help your cervix to keep closed. Idk if that was ur case but you may want to ask your doctor.
My prayers are with you, just remember that now you have a lil angel always watching over you. God Bless you