Relationship Decisions Expert Forum
Do i wait 4/6 months while my boyfriend is over seas?
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Do i wait 4/6 months while my boyfriend is over seas?

My boyfriend is going to Thailand for around 4/6 months..  and he says we can only have minimal/ barely any contact while he is gone.  We have been together nearly 3 months and we are a long distance relationship anyway... he lives 2/3 hours away from me. I have been cheated on before so I do have major trust issues..
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Hello. You get to decide if you are going to trust him or not. Often we let the experiences we have had in the past dictate how we feel in the present and future. This, in a sense, keeps this experience alive. What I mean is this: you have been cheated on before so you are scared of being cheated on now. So scared, that you can't stop thinking about it. What this does is make you feel like you are being cheated on now, even though that is not what is happening.

You have to decide if you are going to move on from the experience from your past. You can choose to support your boyfriend on his trip. You can choose to trust him to not cheat on you, and to know that if he does, you will be ok. Or you can choose to drive yourself crazy with fear around being cheated on (which will probably cause you to act in ways that will push your boyfriend further from you).

Relationships are choices. How we act in them are choices. We can choose to trust or not. We all have reasons not to trust; we have all been hurt. The way we move on into a new reality of relationships, is by choosing to give people the benefit of the doubt. It is not always easy, but it is really the only way to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.
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