Marriage in point of breaking/Searching for solution (Part 2)
(Continuing from previous Question)
9. After 4 months - I met a girl who used to be my friend from before. We liked each other but were not seeing one another. She approached me to get married to her. She said that she was willing to live with me in the small town. I agreed. Her and my parents met. And "again" I got engaged.
10. We had sex during the engagement period and things were fine. THEN - she tells me that she is not over her past relationship - and that she will need time to get over her past relationship. The guy was still in touch with her. When we had sex again - I could not perform. I was hurt and shattered. I could not tell my parents or my friends of this new development.
11. We started having more fights - and then because the whole society was involved - we got married.
12. The honeymoon was fun but there were fights between us - I could not get to feel attracted to her. I had too much builtup venom that she had cheated me. There were times when we spoke about this issue. Then I started contacting some girls from my past - I didnt sleep with them. But the scandalous messages made me feel like a man again. My wife caught the messages and she told her parents and mine again my messages and also that I Watch porn.
13. We almost broke up - but after 2 weeks - she came back to stay with me in the "small town." We had an awful fight again for some absurd reason and she packed her bags and walked out. BUT here I felt a relief that I wouldn't have to see her and live with her daily.
14. Now - Again after she came back - she has left and we are on the brink of seperation her parents do not want us to seperate. So we will have a discussion again - but I know that she lived in Delhi for 10 years and she never leaves the house,doesn't take care of it (we do have help/assistants at home). She is not a planner or organizer. She 32 and I am 27 and she doesn't want to have kids anytime soon. In a summary - she doesnt know what she wants from her life.
I am so sorry ...indeed...it sounds crazy all those yours `engagements ` and your marriage.You have underestimated yourself and crushed the way of living of your life.my advice:Do what you want to do,and not,what other (involving parents)want you to do.Is your life,and you live it just once!In my opinion a person that usually fights with another and has never loved for a long time,cos is frustrated,can never be happy!Find the right person for you,and dont make official things as they were things to be taken for granted ,because they are not!If you fight so much with your wife,is cos first you dont love her,and cos you dont fit enough with her!Both of you are different!that is my opinion.. I wish you good luck!
Yea Meral that is the course of action I am about to take. Its incorrect to subject anyone with my situation. On the other hand if my partner had accepted her life and made it her own, and maybe we had gotten together with her previous relationship baggage - things could have been different.
We go our own separate ways will enable us to at least be happier and find another soul that can fulfill our voids.
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