Aa
My husban have an addition to online flirting
I been marriage for 10 yrs.We have 3 boys.My husband use to have many account on different internet site to know new girls.I the chat that he have are very nasty.He date with 2 of the girls that he chat with.We went to that too many times .I love him and I try to do everything to help him stop with that.Nothing work when I think everything is perfect he is looking for girls.I always try that he feel good.We have sex often.I don't know why he keep doing that.When I confront him He said that nothing to do with me .He tell me that he love me and he don't know why he do that even he know that hurt me so much.My question if he love me and everything is ok why he keep doing that?What can I do to help him? I feeling depress now and I lost my hope .
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Jardin,
It's possible that he does it because he's lost sexual interest in you, though if you're still having sex, perhaps that's unlikely. It's also possible that he's becoming involved with especially young women. Sometimes men have a craving for them, so that everything can be fine at home according to the wife, but the man is feeling very needy. Sometimes this is because the wife is paying attention to the children, and seeming more a mother than a sexual person.
It sounds like he's compartmentalizing himself: he has the relationship with you and the children, and then there's this other part, that he's trying to keep separate. But it has plenty to do with you, despite his words to the contrary. Some women put up with it; others don't. If he's gotten to the stage of actually dating the girls he chats with, it sounds like he's not a very reliable husband. Perhaps he has always craved affairs, and is no longer able to avoid them.
You may want to ask him what's wrong, pushing him away from you toward these other internet women. Perhaps there's something that could make your relationship better, perhaps in the sexual area. Or perhaps the house is in chaos, and he feels like a stranger there. Then again, he may not tell you, or even know, why he does this. It may be a kind of addiction. Addiction to internet pornography and separate, often fantasy relationships outside the “real” one is the fastest growing area of psychological problems these days. If it continues, it could become serious, if it isn't already.
He says he doesn't understand why he does what he does. Perhaps, when he realizes that his actions are hurtful, he may wake up and understand that he needs professional help to understand more before he wrecks his home life.
In any case, his relationships, whether real or fantasy, may be a reason for one or both of you to see a professional, before they destroy your marriage.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
It's possible that he does it because he's lost sexual interest in you, though if you're still having sex, perhaps that's unlikely. It's also possible that he's becoming involved with especially young women. Sometimes men have a craving for them, so that everything can be fine at home according to the wife, but the man is feeling very needy. Sometimes this is because the wife is paying attention to the children, and seeming more a mother than a sexual person.
It sounds like he's compartmentalizing himself: he has the relationship with you and the children, and then there's this other part, that he's trying to keep separate. But it has plenty to do with you, despite his words to the contrary. Some women put up with it; others don't. If he's gotten to the stage of actually dating the girls he chats with, it sounds like he's not a very reliable husband. Perhaps he has always craved affairs, and is no longer able to avoid them.
You may want to ask him what's wrong, pushing him away from you toward these other internet women. Perhaps there's something that could make your relationship better, perhaps in the sexual area. Or perhaps the house is in chaos, and he feels like a stranger there. Then again, he may not tell you, or even know, why he does this. It may be a kind of addiction. Addiction to internet pornography and separate, often fantasy relationships outside the “real” one is the fastest growing area of psychological problems these days. If it continues, it could become serious, if it isn't already.
He says he doesn't understand why he does what he does. Perhaps, when he realizes that his actions are hurtful, he may wake up and understand that he needs professional help to understand more before he wrecks his home life.
In any case, his relationships, whether real or fantasy, may be a reason for one or both of you to see a professional, before they destroy your marriage.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Jardin,
Since we don't have a thorough understanding of the nature of the problem, I'd go with a couples therapist at first. No matter whether it's a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist. The point is that they should be experienced, well trained, and seem compatible to both of you. If the person has another specialty in addictions, that's even better.
I know some professionals now actually specialize in internet addiction. However, for specific people you'll have to surf and/or ask around. I have no leads. Make sure that if the internet addiction is a main focus, you get such a referral.
In terms of the “cure” question: it depends on what's actually going on. If it's an isolated phenomenon, odds are good the two of you can get through it well. If on the other hand your husband has other, deeper and/or more complex problems, outcome for him and/or your marriage might be more guarded.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
Thanks you so much.We need professional help.What kind of professional can work better with our need.Where can I search for the professional that we need?This addiction have a cure?
Thanks again you response was very helpful.
Thanks again you response was very helpful.
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