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Whats going on with my ex bf?
Ok so me & my ex boyfriend had a miscarriage. I have a 15month old child (not by him), my ex is great with my child and they getting really well! So i don’t want my ex out of our life’s completely as its unfair to my child. He’s been babysitting for me lately, say about once a week but only after I’ve told him where I’m going. He knows I’m not on any birth control & every time he stay's over, we end up have sex. We both know its going to happen & we both say we don’t want to get back together & although he has been pulling out, we know there is a small chance i could be pregnant again. It seems like we don’t mind & have said we will still stay mates. Thing is i would want more if i was pregnant because of already having a child & he knows this! I did ask him if he ever thought we would ever get back together & at the time he said ”I don’t think we will get back together”
1 night when I went out & my parents had my child, he asked if I spelt with other guy, I said no & that I only kissed him. That the truth!. He got really funny about it!. I asked him later if it would matter to him if I did sleep with someone else he said “no“,
Lately his ex girlfriend has been writing on his facebook, just about seeing him and its making me think that something might be going on. I don’t know if its just the way I’m reading it or if its how she’s putting it. He’s not said anything about seeing her lately and i think he knows that i wouldn’t like it. As b4 the miscarriage, we broke up (b4 we knew I was pregnant) & he got with her. Then she was ringing me, telling me to stay away from him! So they broke up & then we started getting along better & since the miscarriage we have been sleeping together.
Sorry its so long, just I’m really confused! Please if any guys could help me to understand what he’s thinking & what he really wants from me, that would be great, thanks!!
1 night when I went out & my parents had my child, he asked if I spelt with other guy, I said no & that I only kissed him. That the truth!. He got really funny about it!. I asked him later if it would matter to him if I did sleep with someone else he said “no“,
Lately his ex girlfriend has been writing on his facebook, just about seeing him and its making me think that something might be going on. I don’t know if its just the way I’m reading it or if its how she’s putting it. He’s not said anything about seeing her lately and i think he knows that i wouldn’t like it. As b4 the miscarriage, we broke up (b4 we knew I was pregnant) & he got with her. Then she was ringing me, telling me to stay away from him! So they broke up & then we started getting along better & since the miscarriage we have been sleeping together.
Sorry its so long, just I’m really confused! Please if any guys could help me to understand what he’s thinking & what he really wants from me, that would be great, thanks!!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Rach,
I don't like the sound of this, not at all!
For one thing, your ex-boyfriend sounds like a “serial impregnator” who disappears from responsibility after doing the deed. Plus, you seem to be welcoming another pregnancy.
Is this what you really want? You already have one child without a father. Do you want another one?
For another, it sounds like you're almost completely caught up in the thrill & pain of these cycles of sex and abandonment. I'd guess you're in your early 20’s. When you come out of it in a few years, what will you have? Precious little, I'd guess!
It's no longer about who sleeps with whom. It's about getting your life and relationships stable, and taking care of your child so that he doesn't suffer all his life from the effects of growing up in chaos.
Those effects are real, and serious. They cause people to live lousy lives. What would it mean to your child to remember you as a mother who made good decisions, NOW?
Time to get serious, Rach. Quit the dangerous pregnancy games, become a responsible grownup, partnering with a responsible man. Get help achieving these things from a counselor. He or she will get you on the right track.
It will be a decision you won't regret.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
I don't like the sound of this, not at all!
For one thing, your ex-boyfriend sounds like a “serial impregnator” who disappears from responsibility after doing the deed. Plus, you seem to be welcoming another pregnancy.
Is this what you really want? You already have one child without a father. Do you want another one?
For another, it sounds like you're almost completely caught up in the thrill & pain of these cycles of sex and abandonment. I'd guess you're in your early 20’s. When you come out of it in a few years, what will you have? Precious little, I'd guess!
It's no longer about who sleeps with whom. It's about getting your life and relationships stable, and taking care of your child so that he doesn't suffer all his life from the effects of growing up in chaos.
Those effects are real, and serious. They cause people to live lousy lives. What would it mean to your child to remember you as a mother who made good decisions, NOW?
Time to get serious, Rach. Quit the dangerous pregnancy games, become a responsible grownup, partnering with a responsible man. Get help achieving these things from a counselor. He or she will get you on the right track.
It will be a decision you won't regret.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
Well what do you think he is thinking, when he says he dont what to get back with me bit then get funny when he think ive slept with another guy. Then he says he dont remember asking. Does it sound like he is scared to get back with me?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Rach,
I see you've posted in at least a couple of places on MH, asking for general opinions.
I'll wait on your posting to me, as it is the same as the others, and because I can't see exactly what you're asking for help with.
Let me know if the answers you get from the group don't work for you. Then, if you'd like my input, take a look at what you've written so far, and try to make the information you've provided clear, and the question specific enough to respond to.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
I see you've posted in at least a couple of places on MH, asking for general opinions.
I'll wait on your posting to me, as it is the same as the others, and because I can't see exactly what you're asking for help with.
Let me know if the answers you get from the group don't work for you. Then, if you'd like my input, take a look at what you've written so far, and try to make the information you've provided clear, and the question specific enough to respond to.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Rach,
I see you've posted in at least a couple of places on MH, asking for general opinions.
I'll wait on your posting to me, as it is the same as the others, and because I can't see exactly what you're asking for help with.
Let me know if the answers you get from the group don't work for you. Then, if you'd like my input, take a look at what you've written so far, and try to make the information you've provided clear, and the question specific enough to respond to.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
I see you've posted in at least a couple of places on MH, asking for general opinions.
I'll wait on your posting to me, as it is the same as the others, and because I can't see exactly what you're asking for help with.
Let me know if the answers you get from the group don't work for you. Then, if you'd like my input, take a look at what you've written so far, and try to make the information you've provided clear, and the question specific enough to respond to.
Sincerely,
Dr. P.
1 night when I went out & my parents had my child instead of him, he got really funny about it & he asked if I spelt with other guy, I said no, as that’s the truth! I asked him later if it would matter to him if I did sleep with someone else, he said “no“. Last night I seen his ex girlfriend has been writing on his facebook, just about seeing him & it made me think that something might be going on. So I texed asking “would you tell me if you slept with someone else? ”He was shocked & was like “where did that come from?” I said “I‘m just asking” He said “Well you never asked till now! I have slept with someone but quite a while ago! Y you asking?” I said about the time he got funny with me, he now doesn’t remember it but then asked if I had slept with someone else
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