Relationship Decisions Expert Forum
online friend
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online friend

Hi there...
it is since this summer that I got to know Internet more ...I started to chat not more than since that date...I got addicted to chat with a person in a site for learning English ...Then he left for a month or so ...then I met another guy who seemed more lovely to me ...We discussed about many things ...I even talked about my ex-friend with him and how much I loved him...Then I started to even think that this guy might be the previous one ,but I ended up knowing that I was wrong ...Now ,after a long time being with the second guy ,talking about almost everything and expressing my love for him ,underestimating myself to have him in my life,I see no use in trying to attract his attention anymore ...
It seems he has changed ...He seems not to be interested to talk with me as before ...We used to talk with one another hours and hours...Even we talked on phone ...We also talked about marriage and we were about to be more serious about it ...But he is an studious boy and his studies are more important to him...
Well...better to shorten the story ...I wanna see if there is any practical tips so that I can forget him ...Well,since he has helped me in many cases and since he is the best I know ...Since he is the turning point in my life,I CAN NOT forget him...What should I do?
Besides ,I wanna avoid talking to him,but when I see him online in gmail ,it really annoys me...I was quitting to talk to him ,but he sent a hi and again I started to dream about him and I became more out-of-control that I can't stop myself thinking about him...
Any tips ?
Thanks in advance
...
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765715_tn?1235402261

Dear Curious,

People DO change, and at your age they can change quickly and without warning. They “blow hot and cold.” It can be very confusing. Young people can get scared; they can decide they’ve learned all they can; they can decide the other person just doesn’t feel right to them. Or they decide they have other priorities. It happens to everyone, and it’s nobody’s fault.

The confusion about this boy is heightened if he keeps popping up from time to time. It’s so easy to do on the internet. Your job is to ignore this. If he doesn’t want to be a boyfriend or even husband, move on!

As a practical matter, you need to be friends or girlfriends of new people. Then this present guy will fade into the background. So get out there and be present where people are. Get off the internet and near  REAL HUMAN BEINGS. Then I predict you will quickly stop dreaming about this guy.

I read that you are just at the beginning of trying to understand love, sex, and so many other things. I think this is a good set of things to learn. It also implies that you’ll need to keep moving, experiencing new people, gaining and knowledge and strength. With these will come ability to meet people, even love them, and then move on if necessary.


Cordially,

Dr. P.
2 Comments
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547368_tn?1332173665
Hello Curious,

I am sorry to hear about your lost love. Our Caregivers Forum is geared more towards those that take care of others, like an ill child or an aging parent.

Please know that you are always welcome here. However I do think your questions maybe better answered in our Relationships Forum. I will request that your post be redirected for your benefit.

Best of Luck to You,
~Tuck
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