Guy and girl #1. Fall in love while still in high school, get married and have 3 children. Two boys and a girl. The perfect couple in every way. He is a manual worker all day in the heat, she tends bar at the local popular Fridays. Been there for years both of them. The kids are into football and Dad is right there after working all day but had developed bad habits when it comes to communicating and meeting the needs of the wife. He does not really have many friends,but does dedicate any extra time to the sports of his children. He is a loving man with a temper out of this world when provoked. Wife is only one who can calm him.
Couple #2. Guy and girl married for 13 years, oldest child is 9 years old. They made the mistake of joining groups of activities where friends had sex with each other. Did not work, destroyed the wife's self image and to make things worse, she developed severe jealousy at hubby's friendly and outgoing personality. Living in the same house but in separate bedrooms. He too works part time at the local Fridays restaurant.
Neither couple is having sex nor are they actively trying to work on their marriages. Girl from couple A meets Boy in couple b and start a relationship, at first talking and later leading to a physical relationship. Now she thinks she is in love. The guy from couple b is friends with the husband of couple a. There has been talk previously but allegations denied by both parties., regarding a relationship between the two. Wife from couple b bugs car of husband and overhears her hubby talking to wife of couple a. Gig is up, now word is out and wife of couple b is making threats to wife of couple a calling her employment, making threats, attempting to contact hubby of couple no1.
Now wife of couple num 1 realizes she must confess to husband and is working on the time to do it and is in fear of her life as well as the lovers life. She does not want to hurt him, did not plan this and now thinks she is truly in love with the lover. Hubby of couple no2 has been caught and is now shunned by family members for his actions and is sleeping on a couch of a friend. What do you think is going to happen?
This is a true scenario that will play out in the next few days. I would like you to predict what you think is going to happen when hubby from couple #1 is told that his wife has been in an affair with a guy that claimed to be his friend and is now in love with his wife and is a threat of him losing his family over. Remember, this guy lives, breathes and eats his family and worships the ground they walk on. I will let you know if any of you are correct in your prediction.
Guy #1 is either going to take the law in his own hands(she won't be able to calm him this time!), since he worships the gound of his family, which can lead to a potentially dangerous situation (Violence or God forbid murder), or simply file for a divorce, keep the children after kicking the other guys butt!
Cuckold guy from couple #1 will blow his stack when he finds out. He'll have a heated verbal confrontation with his now ex friend... but, it will not come to physical blows. The couple will try to stick it out in the marriage in the hopes of preserving the family unit.
In fact, marriage counseling may even be in the horizon for these two as they both now recognize the glaring deficiencies in the relationship.
And, the wife will have to quit working at Friday's.
i do think that guy from couple A will blow his smoke stack and from seeing how my brother is and his friends are, how hubby is and how his friends are (so a wide variety of guys/men) it could very well lead to a physical confrontation with guy from couple b. he was lied to and used. this man was pretending to be his friend while having sex with his wife and lying to his face whenever asked about it. the wife from couple a could very well get a pfa or restraining order against wife from couple b for harassment which would forbid wife b from calling wife a's work, contacting wife a at all and her family. (as well as staying a certain distance from her). and i honestly believe one or both marriages will most likely end in divorce.
Husband #1 is going to be very devestated when he finds out that his so called friend is sleeping and in Love with his wife. Since Guy # 1 has a temper I think he is going to confront Guy # 2. It could very well escalate. I think he might even beat the **** out of Guy # 2. It could be a very dangerous situation. He worships his family and will blame Guy # 2 for breaking up his family.
Hmmm that's a tough one... I'm going to say that since Man from #1 is very family oriented, he would not want to see his kids go through a divorce, of course he would be very angry at it but i do believe after he calms down about the situation he will try his hardest to convince his wife to work through the marriage problems if only for the childrens sake. Although he may beat the **** out of his "friend". But as his wife believes she is in love with man from #2, the marriage will not survive and man #1 will be bitter and resentful and possibly try to get full custody of kids.
Wife from #2.... Since she has a low self image she will probably try and get her husband back, feeling it's all her fault and that she isn't worthy of anyone else. Either that or she may try to commit suicide over the matter or attack either her hubby or wife from #1.(such happy thoughts i have eh? lol)
Then after leaving man #1, wife #1 will eventually realize that man #2 is not what she thought him to be and that she really doesn't love him at all, she just liked the attention he gave to her. She will failingly try and make up with her hubby who has already moved on to another woman who happens to be perfect for him :)
There's my wonderful rendition of it haha, at least man #1 has a happy ending lol
So if the guy from couple #! takes the kids and heads out of state, even tho there are no separation papers filed, can he be gotten for kidnapping. His family lives in another state, and one scenario that keeps playing out is him taking the kids to moms.
I think husband of NO1 is going to get so mad and beat on husband NO2, also he will divorce his wife, the wife of course will say she is sorry, that it just happened, and she really does not love husband of NO 2
I think the wife of NO 2 husband will not say to much, she will be mad, but she will settle for her husband if he says he is sorry, also i will say the husband of No 2 will take his beating, and will stay withhis wife. i also think wife no 2 will try to get a few hits in on wife NO1 jo
Yes, he just can't take there kids out of state without legal approval. Although wife #1 is and adulterer and poor example of a mother, if there is no legal agreement, she does have full rights to her children.
Another scenario that scares me is that when wife of Couple #! tells hubby, he has guns. Is it possible he gets gun, shoots her, himself! God forbid the kids! I know it sounds bad but looking at all possibilitys.
I think he will be hurt and physically confront the other man and perhaps smack his wife. He will take the kids and she will do what he wants because she knows she was wrong and she will want to be with the other guy. I really hope he doesn't go as far as to shoot her or her lover. They are not worth it. This is exactly why cheating can turn ugly.
hopefully he can control his anger. if not you may suggest to wife of couple A to remove all firearms from the house until after the confrontation that way there is no possibility of an accident happening because if something like that DOES happen the real losers in this situation are the kids. they'll end up losing both parents (if husband does indeed kill wife.) IF he doesn't end up shooting the entire family.
I did not read it all, i thought i had. but looked again, and saw where wife No 2 already knows, and i had already anewered, that says a lot for me, i am stupid, but , if wife no 2 already knows, she is sure not doing what they did years ago, and already went after the wife no !, if it is in real life i still think hubby NO 1 will do a little ole fashin fighting, then start with the wife, if it is a soap opera they are more civilized, this is interesting, just cant wait to see what happens jo
Jo, it does sound like a soap opera doesnt it? But it is a true life one! Unfortunately! I guess wife # 2 found the cell # of hubby # 1 and called and left a message about the whole thing. (Probem is that was an old cell number and now some other poor slump is in trouble most likely!) She also called, and keeps calling wife of couple #!. so much so that she has turned her phone off and now not even I can get thru! While we are waiting for it all to play out, lets pretend we know the future and these two hook up after they leave their spouses.
First of all, he is Jehovah Witness, and now is shunned by everyone, including his family. She was raised Christian (baptist). They each have 3 children so neither are going to have any money (ever!). The stress of all that has gone before as well as the religous differences, how could it even work? I do not see it happning!
A JEHOVAH WITNESS!!! OMG...no way! That means he has probably been disfellowshiped by the congregations and although he called himself a witness, was one of those who doesn't practice what he preaches...I don't blame the religion, because I know alot of them, I do blame the weakness of the flesh. How is this going to work...it's not. Wow...you just blew me away with this one.
Well, here is the latest thus far. Wife of couple #1 is scheduled for some sx on Wed. of next week. She is second thinking telling her hubby until after the sx. She also was told by someone, that the only way she could not fess up, was if she wanted to stay with her hubby and make it work. She has not yet decided what she wants to do so needs to think some more. So you tell me, while we are doing all this thinking and waiting, is it helping or hurting the entire situation? You guys are awesome by the way!
I know that if this were in the 1970 just what would happen the working class of men lets say lower class had some kind of code they called it ethics, and woe be it to any man that dared to trespass on what they considered theirs and a wife was their posession, the No I husband would either beat the other one to death or shoot him, and the wife would end up beaten and thrown out, but if the wife No 2 had found out about it, she would have got to wife NO 1 and beat the tar out of her and then went to the husband, and the law would probably have approved, as they did not do to much about family matters unless someone was killed, if he was beaten half to death no one cared, not even the law, but this being civilized times and the law does look at theses things different, it is hard to say, but if the No 2 wife was into sex partys with her husband , maybe she will not do to much, but she will try to get even, she is going about it in such a childish way tho I know that this is childish, but i was 16 my gilrfriend and i wanted to go to the movies, but the boys we went with were going fishing so my girfriend and i and my chaperone my dear little brother whom my mother insisted go all the time we just decided to go anyway, Well guess who was there our boyfriends my girlfried started towards them with blood in her eyes, i pulled her back in the lobby, and just laughed and i said dont get mad lets get even, i really wasnt into boys that much, but she was, but it did upset me, one of them knew we saw them but later we pretended everything was fine, so we made our choc fudge ( MY Idea) i bought a box of you know what an mixed it with the fudge we gave it to them i knew that it would not hurt them, but they would be very uncomfotable anyway they ate it, we declined any with some excuse after about 4 hours they went to the bathroom most of the day, and we both just laughed all day, i know it was a terrible thing to do but at least it woke my girlfriends boyfriend up, and about 3 years later they were married, were any of you ladys ever as onery as that, i hang my head in shame LOL jo
No matter how this ends, it will hurt the children the most, and i do not think either wife is considering this What kind of life will the children of couple no 1 have knowing their mother thought more of this man than she did of them i also think of the children of the 2nd couple, the children probably knows what goes on kids are smarter than their parents give them credit for jo
I predict that hubby from couple #2 will get tired of sleeping on the couch and realize he was not ready for all this drama and try to get back with his wife. Wife of couple#1 will realize that now that the cat is out of the bag with her lovers wife, that maybe he aint all that she thought he was, especially when he is not encouraging her to leave her hubby no more. I predict that she will decide to stay in the marriage and not tell her hubby anything at all.
So wait, wife #1 wants to wait until she cheats AGAIN and THEN tell her hubby. Oh this will not be good at all!
Ok lets see being a Jehovah's witness puts a new spin on it. I predict hubby #2 will be mad and ashamed that he is the only one being shunned by the community thanks to his wife. so i think he will tell someone that his wife has willingly participated in a sex group that way she will also be shunned. He'll do it out of spite I believe. And really he shouldn't be the only one shunned because they both willingly slept with other people previously so wife #2 really should've seen this one coming.
I do agree with you teko that wife #1 may decide to stay in the marriage and not say a thing to her hubby. BUT i also think that since wife #2 is already harassing wife #1 that eventually she will get to hubby #1, maybe even in person, and he will find out from her instead of his wife and then the situation will be even worse. He will probably flip out ion the wife and run down hubby #2 and beat the **** out of him and then leave his wife and take the kids too.
Those poor children though!!! UGH I hope someone thinks of them and gets them some therapy after all this!
You came upon a point that no one including myself picked up on! Yes, they both participated in group sex! Both of them are Jehovah witness, and I find it curious that the hubby of Couple #2 finds it understandable that his wife is sooo upset, even to the point of saying things like "She is a good woman and has been hurt", in defense of her bugging his truck and causing public humiliation! Hmmmm, I wonder if the wife from couple #1 has seen this fact? Good point! C this is the kind of stuff that comes out when you get everyones take on it! You all just might be responsible for saving this here marriage after all!
Well, wife of couple #1 has surgery today to cut off blood supply from a swollen, engorged ovary that is causing much pain and have an appendix out. I am baffled by this however. Would a doctor not want to figure out what was causing the engorgement instead of just cutting off the blood supply? And taking out a perfectly healthy appendix! Anyone wanna talk healthcare reform ? Burns my Butt! Oh well, another time maybe.
Wife #1 is still talking to hubby#2. She did not mention seeing him but I was not born under a rock either! Hubby #1 still in the dark and wife#1 still putting off facing the situation, and my bet this will continue until one of two things happen! He finds out from another source and all h#ll breaks loose or she manages to save enough money to get out of the house. He will not be there for her sx today cause he stands to lose alot of money if he calls off work. They are already hiding the van to keep it from being repo'd.
Now, I gotta level with you guys. Wife #1 is my second daughter, lives here in florida. Her hubby is my favorite sil. Go figure right! I love them both dearly! I did not say this earlier because I want honest off the cuff reactions and did not want anyone trying to spare my feelings. Anyone who is familiar with me knows how I feel about cheaters in a relationship. Including my own family! This is a perfect example of the drama that comes out of being dishonest in any way! Now I am included into the drama because she has confided in me (after pretty much pinning her to the wall). I know who this hubby of couple # 2 is as well. He has befriended our family, helped my da and her dh move, they both worked at the local TGIF for the last several years. I am betting! Dude will be at the hospital today and again, I will be there with the little one and again, find myself in an uncomfortable situation. I do not want to alienate my da in any way, after all I am her mum. But I feel like by knowing, I am cheating on my sil as well. I am in a place I really do not want to be. Do you guys not think of these things that you put your mamas thru! I am hurt, angry and feeling used! I am pushing for a resolution to all this! Stay tuned and keep offering up advice! I brought to her attention, the fact that hubby#2 seems h#ll bent on not retaliating against his wife for causing him public humiliation and abandonment from family when she herself deserves the same! She, wife of #1, needs her head examined! And I quit smoking in the midst of all this mess! 8 days today!
Wow, what a predicament your family is in. I guess there isn't much you can do but sit back and see what happens. If you interfere, you will only cause a rift between you and your daughter. I would just try and give your daughter the best advice possible and be there when the sh!t hits the fan for both. This is a serious situation.
Teko, you are an amazing woman how you handled your family situation on this forum. I applaud you!!! You should be a novel writer. I have followed this post like a soap opera, because you just keep blowing me away! I am so very sorry that this is happening withing your family and as Mami stated, all you can do is sit back and wait to see what happends, but when it does, all hell is going to break loose......your fan, Judy
I am sorry that your family is going through this it really puts you in a bad place, you are durned if you do, and durned if you dont, so to speak, i just hope things turn out to be peaceful, at least you have a level head, and can maybe talk someone out of hurting the other physically, also since there have been no papers filed of any kind, and couple 2 husband does take kids to mom i do not think that the law can do anything unless papers are filed, i may be wrong as i do not know of such things luck jo
Thanks guys for all your support. I just got home. As I figured Hubby #2 showed up at the hospital to support wife#1 thru her sx. Hubby #1 was not there, but I did think he would come after he got off work, but did not. Ticked me right off too! He hubby#1 told me the oldest boy had football practice and he would not be home till 8:30 or so. It made me mad because his wife had just had sx and was not capable of taking care of herself and needed someone to be there, plus the 2 year old was with me and I felt like she should have at least come and got her! So, I called my hubby, he came and got the little one and then I stayed and we finally got outta the hospital at 8 pm. I took her home, put her to bed, fixed her something to eat and went to get scripts filled. I am beginning to understand why she turned to someone else! I am so mad at him! If he loves her so much how can he not come to her during a time like this? I gotta go back in the morning and get the two boys off to school and I guess I will call off work and keep the little one tomorrow! No one else is going to help her! Grrrh!
Da and her hubby are in the process of talking it out. They got in an argument about some stupid stuff and she told him she needs her space. She said she needs time alone to clear her head and c what the next step is. She figures if he can watch the kids while she works and he while she works, then the kids would not be uprooted. They would stay in the home with Dad and she would get a place for now and see what happens. Hubby#2 was not mentioned. She said she would not file or do anything until she knew her marriage was over. At least thats the way it was when I saw her yesterday, today is a different day! I will keep ya posted. I am to c her today.
Well, here is the jist of it all. I just talked with wife#1. Hubby #1 is in the home with the children. Wife#1 is staying with a single girlfriend. When Hubby#1 is working, wife#1 comes to the house, gets the boys off to school, stays with the little girl until hubby#1 gets home. Then if wife#1 works, hubby#1 watches the children, gets them to bed etc. I think they plan on sharing weekends and of course get together when possible for the sports and such for the childrens sake.
She said she did not leave for hubby#2 and has no intention of living with him nor openly dating him during this time. However, before I left her she was on the phone with him telling him howmuch she loves and misses him. I am just sick! I am thinking of getting the kids this weekend just to get them out of it all!
She needs to stop communication with him all together. I understand the feeling of wanting someone and having emotions all balled up but then you have to think logically here. This is a horrible situation and hubby #2 is not available. Emotionally nor physically. He's chosen to stay with wife #2 than he needs to cut ties with wife #1. I would be less fearful of hubby #1 and more fearful of wife #2 if wife #1 keeps this up.
I so agree with you, but you know what. She does not care right now what anyone thinks. I am downright angry and dont know how to handle how I feel with her. I dont know how to look my sil in the face anymore, and my heart aches for those babies! She thinks she is in love with the guy (hubby#2) and I know it aint so. His children who are not much different in age than my grandchildren. 6 childrens lives have been permanantly altered, two marriages, and 4 sets of grandparents and parents. All because these 2 cowards turned to each other instead of having the b#alls to work on their relationships. I am literally watching the selfishness unfold in front of me and watching the collateral damage fall all around me. It makes me physically ill! I am her mom and I love her but I do not support this at all!
Just to clear things up. So wife #1 only told hubby #1 she needed space and didn't in any way mention the fact that she has been cheating and feels like she is in love with hubby #2?
I feel horrible for hubby #1 and the children especially! If wife #1 really has no intention of staying with hubby #1 she needs to tell him or it'll just be worse later on for everyone involved. Telling him she needs her space is only going to give him false hope that they will be back together eventually. She needs to be completely honest and upfront with him and needs to stop stringing him along, if she really plans on leaving him. Especially since she thinks she's in love with hubby #2.
And those poor children! They are going to be so affected by the selfishness of two people and it's just horrible. I feel just so sad for them. Teko I have no idea how you can handle this situation, i probably would've b*tched the heck out of my daughter by now! I don't think there will be any happy endings here, especially once hubby #1 finds out what happened and I believe he will eventually and it will not be good at all.
Yep! You got it! Last night Hubby#1 called my husband to get some help hauling some closet doors. My hubby said he thinks hubby#1 suspects that there is someone else in the picture but because he has the kids all the time he cannot go check it out. I tried to call my da all day and no answer!
I gotta feeling hubby#1 will be calling me to c if I can keep the kids sometime this weekend. I just wish she would freakin tell him and get it over with for crying out loud! This is nuts!
Wife of couple #1, came clean to hubby last night about the affair. It be bad! I was called to come and when I got there Hubby was walking around the house screamin, in tears and calling her every name in the book. I ended up keepin the kids overnite. So now the truth is out and hubby is taking kids and moving this sat into a cheaper place to live. Now they are fighting over who will keep the kids. Mom came and picked them up this morning and got them off to school. Dad will take over when he gets off work, I hope! Hubby of Couple #2 filed for divorce, and I hope he is smart enough to not be found for a few days. Such a hurtful situation all round. Will keep ya posted!
So what do you think will happen next? Will Hubby of Couple #1 go looking for Hubby of couple #2. Will wife of couple #1 stay with hubby of couple #2. What do you guys see coming next?
I think wife of couple #1 will stay with hubby #2, irregardless of how much it will hurt hubby #1 or wife #2. They are selfish and they don't care about the feelings of their children either. It's unfair but I bet this is how it will play out until they cheat on each other somewhere down the line, because what goes around comes around.
How awful, but the truth has set her free somewhat, but there is going to be hell to pay! I think wife #1 and hubby will have a messy divorce. He will fight to keep the kids on grounds of adultery. Judge will give her visitation's if he is in a good mood. Hubby #1 has children to raise and be an example to, so I don't think he will go after hubby #2, but I advise that hubby #2, stay out of sight, because if hubby #1 under rage can hurt him or God forbid do the unthinkable. I see messy divorce and the children will suffer and struggle to understand why mommy is no longer home.
After all is said and done, wife #1 might stay with hubby #2, but all hell is going to break lose in his home if wife #1 decides to name who the adulterer. He might not want her and decide to make thinkg work with his wife, but Wife #2, will file for divorce, keep the kids, house, bank account...she will suck the life right out of him, let him see the kids....maybe, and move forward to make a better home for her kids.
Wow, well at least wife #1 finally came clean. I would also suggest that hubby #2 lay low although if hubby #1 finds him and beats the **** outta hubby #2 i don't blame him for it. But since hubby #1 is really involved with the kids i don't think he'll do that but ya never know.
i think wife #1 may stay with hubby#2, but who knows both wife #1 and hubby #2 will probably get screwed in the end because i firmly believe karma is a b*tch and the cheating will come back to both of them in some way!
anyway you look at it there is going to be trouble, as hubby no 1 will never trust his wife again, and you can bet wife of no2 hubby will make all of the trouble she can, i do not believe that hubby no 1 is going to take all of this to well, i wonder why peope cant be satisfied with what they have, because i do not believe that hubby no 2 will make wife of hubby no 1 happy in the long run. i do hope that no one gets hurt jo
A couple of clarifications to be made here, as I was not clear about them in my update. Wife of Couple #1 came clean as I said, but what I did not clarify is that she did indeed admit who the guy was she was cheating with. Secondly, she admitted that this has been going on since the youngest da who will be 3 on the 12th, was one year old. So now, the Hubby of couple #1 is asking if the baby is indeed his. He has cut his wife off as far as funds, checking account etc. She has no money, no place to stay, no way to get a lawyer and it is looking like no way to keep him from taking the children.
I am left pondering whether to step up and help her, but, somewhere deep inside me, I think her lover should? Yet I am her mom and do not want to c her lose her babies. I will pray about it, hopefully they will both come to their senses and not use the children as weapons. Not likely any time soon tho!
I never doubted that the baby was his, but now! I am just sickened by it all! I will keep you all posted, keep giving scenarios guys, it really helps!
She will definately need your support in whatever you are able to help her with. What a mess and the children need to be protected for all of this..I will keep you and your family in my prayers for a peaceful resolution.
Good luck teko. I think you should stand back and allow her to learn her life lessons. I don't think there would be much you can do any way. I send my wishes to you and hope it all ends up ok for those poor children.
I wonder why wife of hubby no 2 is being so quiet about all of this, it seems she is taking this to calm, also if wife of hubby no 1 has been cheating this long, she does not love her husband and they will be better off divorced, i also worry about hubby no2 being into the sex games i cant bekieve that hubby no 1 is taking this so calm i feel for you, but whe a child reaches maturity, they will not listen, and you have to let them learn on their own, if you get in the middle it may not be a wise thing to do, as they need to learn the hard way, i have had to learn a lot the hard way and when i did i still remember luck to you whatever you decide i wish you the best jo
Hubby of couple #1 called place of employment of Wife and talked to her manager and co workers about the whole situation. Wife has to go in to work on friday. Now Im ticked! That is illegal for a manager where you work to talk to your drunk husband while on duty about your employee!
Hubby of couple #1 contacted Hubby of couple #2 and requested his wifes phone no. Said he wanted to talk to someone who was going thru the same thing he was, and said he was interested in getting to know her, maybe they could find something in common also.
Children want to go stay with Nana (me). Acting out badly. fearful, tearful and throwing tantrums.
Wife of couple #1 went for state aid today, but cannot get any until hubby is gone. hmmm. Looks like he will def take the kids, nothing she could do to stop him at this point.
Wife of couple #1 wants manager at work fired, and will not settle for anything less, come to find out, this manager has dated the hubby of couple #2 herself!
I know , seriously! And I am not including everything that is going on, like the landlords now know about it all and all the parents of the 7 year olds footbal team! Maybe I ought to write a book!
So, wife of hubby #1 has been axed from the bank accounts and is hot, gotta work tonight too, so that will be something else. In the mean time the hubby is calling me telling me why he cut her off the money.
Me? I have decided to sit on the sidelines and let it play out. Why? Because in my mind, if it were my kids, no one would take them from me, period. No matter what! I would find a way and I do not see that determination here. And to think I left em all in Ohio to avoid drama! She is the only one who followed me here! So tomorrow he moves the kids to a different town, different school. I think this is way tooo much for the kids, but hey, no one cares what I think.
To those who may stumble upon this post and wonder what is going on, I am writing and logging this activity for several reasons. The main reason is to show the world day by day, how this kind of behavior can destroy not only your self, your loved ones, your children but in fact all those who touch your lives. I would hope you would read this and realize how ugly this is to all and never go this route. I know they are women out there that somehow feel special when someone elses man wants to date them. Is this sexy? In any way is it fair? 6 childrens lives have been interupted here and 2 homes, all because of 2 people listening to each other about each others problems with their spouses. Next time you have issues, go home and talk to your significant other. I personally feel that there should be criminal charges to protect the children from parents who do this to their children. IMO
Oh wow hubby 1 waited not time taking action, but taking the children out of town and new in the early stages of school season is damaging. How frightening for them see new home, school and start over with friends....this can have future consequences for and fears for them.
Teko, you are an amazing woman, willing to put your personal life out there to prove a point about the consequences of adultery. As everyone know this forum is very sensitive to adultery, which is simply unexceptable, inmoral, selfish behavior.
I really feel so sad for your grandkids teko. I understand his anger but he's not thinking with a level head. He's fighting to protect them but in the end he's gonna hurt them. They are already going through so much because they undoubtedly feel the tension and to uproot them from their normal day to day activities and to take them from their friends and their school, is only going to hurt them. Yes, she wasn't thinking of their children but she is still their mother and to use them as a pawn in this wicked game is just going to cause them so much emotional damage. They shouldn't have to chose sides. They are so innocent. This is all so sad.
Last night someone texted hubby #1 a pic of a woman, giving oral sex. (The pic was done in such a way that you cold not clearly identify the gal but at first glance, looked like his wife. It seems to me that a guy would do that, cause it was clear that whoever sent it, sent it with the intent to hurt him. What do you think?
Today he was supposed to take the kids and move. He called me to come see the place. I went. It was horrible! I mean horrible! I threw a fit! Told him he was not moving those kids into that nasty mess. It looked like drug addicts and drunks all congregated outside. Inside was awful! He said he had to have something cause the rent was out on the other place. I caved. I took him to look at some places and actually monetarily helped secure one for him and the kids. I just could not have them living like that! He will pay me back, so the move was put off a few days, but at least they will have something decent to live in. I hope i did not make a mistake.
for the kids sake you have to do what you think is best , but whoever sent that pic is one dirty person, it sounds like they want him to do something drastic, i hope that he trys and keeps a cool head luck jo
Hubby of couple #1 is taking the kids and moving tomorrow. Wife of couple#1 along with Hubby of couple #2 moved some furniture that she is keeping to the storage unit today. Hubby of couple #1 has found a friend to babysit for a reasonable amount each week, thereby allowing mommy to get a day job to save for a place to live. Wife of couple #2 is still stalking wife of couple #1. Emotions are up and down as is to be expected. Any court action is put on hold for now because neither party has money. Hubby of couple #2 has a date with a lawyer on the 28th. Will see how the weekend goes. I have some stuff in their garage to get out, before the landlord padlocks the place! lol
Wife of Cupple #1 took the van, but thinks hubby should still make the payment. She thinks it is also fair for hubby to pay her to be there at 5 in the morning and get the kids from school and keep the 3 yr old all day. She thought 250.00 wkly from hubby was fair. The person he got to watch them tho will take 50.00 a wk cause is the wife of a guy that hubby #1 works with.
I must really be old fashioned, cause I thought if you left the marriage you were on your own?
I am finding myself in a precarious situation, because they both come to me to talk. I love my da more than life itself, but find myself so angry with her these days. I cannot help it, my heart goes out to my sil and the kids. I remind myself that it is their problem and try to steer clear of it but it is so hard to do. I told my sil that his responsibility is to the children, and now I feel guilty for dissing my da. :(
Don't feel that way teko. Your daughter must understand consequences of her actions. If her husband has custody of the kids your daughter actually has to pay him child support. If she loves hubby #2 so much and he loves her so much then why doesn't he buy her a car and take care of her financially. I mean he wanted her so badly. I think you should be honest with your daughter and tell her how you feel about her actions. She should know the truth even if it hurts her to hear. That's just my opinion.
i with the other ladies...i didn't think you got paid to watch your own kids. if that's the case...WHERE'S MY MONEY??? lol jk jk
those 2 have really cause a heck of mess for everyone. does wife #1 feel any remorse what so ever for ruining 2 families? for uprooting 6 children. stealing away 3 childrens father and (i guess she didn't abandon hers...technically) leaving her children. i wouldn't be able to live without seeing my little monsters everyday. they maybe heading into the terrible twos but...they're mine. they make life complete.
why does she expect her hubby to pay for HER to have a vehicle? it's no longer his concern. his only concern now are those children. which i feel awful for. do they know what's going on? do they understand that their mommy is with another man now? how are they all taking it?
I did tell my daughter that in my opinion, lover boy needs to step up to the plate with the cash, but I didnt expect him to. My guess is that he will either go back and work it out with his wifee or dump her for another hot bod down the road. She tells my sil how her lovers wife is stalking her. I told the sil to not try to pay the car payment, it was her deal. I will be watching the kids today while grampa and daddy move them. I will better see what they are going thru when mom and dad are not around. Hope. You guys are great.
It's kind of ridiculous to ask her hubby for money to watch her own kids! What is she thinking?? They are her responsibility too, she doesn't get compensated for spending time with her children because that's what she should be doing in the first place! I would think seeing her children would be the most important thing here.
and I don't think her lover should be responsible for getting money for her. She needs to step up, be responsible and do it for herself. She created the mess she's in so she needs to take care of it herself. I also agree with the others that even though she's your daughter, she needs to do this on her own, and I also wouldn't step in, she's an adult, she made her bed, she can sleep in it. Although teko I don't know how you are able to even deal with this! Good thing those children will be with grandma and out of the drama for a bit! Those poor kids!
Hopefully things will start to clear up, though it'll probably take a long time for the anger to go away(on hubby #1 part)
I think eventually hubby #2 will go back with his wife. I agree with megochick that she needs to get her life on track. Start taking care of herself and her kids financially. My fiancée's sister completely abandoned her daughter since she got into a new relationship, does your daughter even feel bad or miss her kids. I just can't understand it because I would fight tooth and nail for my child.
I do not remember if the age of wife no 1 was mentioned or the age of the boys of wife no1 maybe wife no 1 has not matured enough to realise just what she has done if hubby no 1 took her back it would be because of the children, but he would never trust her, also i cant see why she left the chilfren if she loved them, matbe she wanted to be free as a bird, i realy do not think that she is looking to the future, if hubby no1 gets a divorce it will be natural for him to remarry and the step mother will help raise her children, i wonder if she knows what will happen, and also what will the children think of what she has done, will it bother her, or is this what she wants no one knows what is in her mind at this point wife no 2 will probably stay with her hubby, and cater to his wishes it really is a mess and both wife no 1 and hubby no2 should suffer together for all the hurt they have caused. i do worry about the children and hope for thei sake they can be happy as the ole saying goes maybe it will all come out in the wash jo
Oh what a tangled web we weave. This is such a mess, and the children are the innocent victims here. They didn't do a thing to cause this, yet, they are having to pay such a high price becuase of the parents selfishness. Being a parent means your kids needs come first.
I say the adults get whats coming to them, but those children, that is what is so heartbreaking.
Our actions bring consequences to others besides ourselves.
Sil and the kids are moved in to the new residence. Wife spent the last two days getting her stuff out and her lover helped her leaving for a new round of hurt feelings and intense anger on hubbys end, which I think ***** cause he refused to help her himself and she had to have someone. He screamed at her and yelled at her in front of the kids and told the 7 year old to tell his mom how bad of a mother she was. Seven year old said, Daddy there is nothing in my brain! Looked scared. Mom left crying and Dad followed her to the car and hit the car and told her she would never get the kids, period. Da called me crying because the kids were scared and needing to c a lawyer but no money. I know she is looking to me for help, dont know what to do.
Uy ya ya....this is becoming a complete disgrace. First of all, wife #1 shouldn't have brought her lover. I'm sure she could've found someone else to help her. Secondly, husband #1 is acting like a disgusting pig. You don't involve the children in any way. That is still their mother, no matter what happens between the two of them. To put the kids in the middle is a disgrace. I hope somewhere down the line these two can work together for the sake of those kids. Although, I think that may never happen.
i am quite sure my mother loved me but she was a fair and harsh woman she was honest and she told me when i got married i was making my own bed and to lay in it, she never offered advice or help she said my marriage problems were up to me, she never watched the children as she traveled and had her own life to live, so i can give no advice except that maybe she should learn the hard way she made one big mistake in takibg the boyfriend to help her move that is like rubbing salt in a raw wound i know that you love your daughter, but will she do it again, i see no way for her to get the children and it is sad that they should see the parents argue surley wife no 1 knew this when she had her boyfriend go with her i wish you luck in your decisions go with you own instincts jo
Okay, well! Today the wifee of hubby #1 consulted an attorney. 5000.00 big ones now to handle a divorce. Here is the good part of it all. The state we life in is no fault, which means if someone commits adultry it is not held against them. Another thing is there is no such thing as custody in this state. It is called shared parenting. Both parents are involved. Debts are divided as to what is fair in the particular situation and not necessarily 50/50 as is done in other states.
The other thing that happened today is hubby #1 called Hubby # 2. I think I mentioned earlier that these two had been friends in the past. Well, they talked on the phone about 3 hours or so with hubby #1 crying and carrying on and hubby #2 encouraging him to sit down and talk to his wife, something they had never been able to do without fighting.
So, I was supposed to have dinner with my da and she calls me and tells me she is meeting hubby #1 at his request in a restraurant, to talk. So, why do I get the feeling that after he has a couple of beers, all hell gonna break loose? Kids are with a sitter. What do you all make of this?
What are they going to talk about? The kids? Their marriage? I think hubby #1 will let out a lot of hurt and anger and I feel like it could end poorly but wife #1 can make the difference with her responses to him. If she doesn't get angry back or seems remorseful, then perhaps the conversation may not get out of hand. She needs to control herself even if he verbally assaults her. She needs to understand he is really hurting, he's been betrayed by not only his wife but also with his friend. So it's a double betrayal. She can be the bigger person here.
That's a lot of money for a divorce and since adultery is not recognized as a reason for divorce (that's unbelievable) what then irreconcilable differences? I'm glad that both hubby's were able to discuss the situation like adults without all hell breaking lose over the phone, BUT if they meet in person, you never know! I'm glad the children will be able to spend time with both parents and counseling will help them to through their school.
If I were your daughter, I would be concern about meeting hubby 1 anywhere, but let's see how this plays out.
They met, they talked, hubby#1 cried. Wife stuck to her guns about not going back, regardless of how things turn out with lover boy. They agreed to figure things out themselves rather than pay lawyers a bunch of money for the same thing they can do themselves.
In the state of florida the only statutes for getting a divorce are six months of residency and proof that marriage is over. If one of the party files for divorce the other cannot contest it. It goes thru anyway. All states are different in their divorce laws. As long as no one has filed in Florida, sil could pack the kids up and haul them to Ohio where the divorce laws are much much different.
So all is calm for now, but we all know that is not gonna last long.
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