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(18+ topic) advice about a sweet sadistic person
(18+ topic) is it possible to actively suppress ones sadism and 'use it; subconsciously on ill will people?
i have a friend who is very honor and family/friend oriented and loves them very much. he tends to like a sense of respect and not 'going below the belt' for those who warrant his respect.
but then there is a hitch. he has this mentality that if he meets someone new they can because his friend or his enemy and they are just one of many options for friends and not not waste time on fruitless efforts.
thing is when they become his enemy usually by their own arrogant choices (which is not uncommon in today's world) he tends to get a rather sadistic nature with them its full blow enjoying them struggle.
he finds it fun to toy with people that he deems to be well.... 'jack *****' for lack of a proper word. he seems to observe things about others before anyone else realizes them and they turn out true. he can understand patterns and motives in the same manner before anyone else realize either. and he is usually correct. its his cold mannerisms that turn people off so to speak.
its not like he is inherently 'crazy' or 'evil', yes he has baggage but when he is around people he cherishes ive never met a softer person who takes time out of their life for people......
may sound weird and ironic and gender mixing traits but... he changes like a stereotypical scorned mother when he changes 'gears'.
i just want to know what is going on and so does he.
i have a friend who is very honor and family/friend oriented and loves them very much. he tends to like a sense of respect and not 'going below the belt' for those who warrant his respect.
but then there is a hitch. he has this mentality that if he meets someone new they can because his friend or his enemy and they are just one of many options for friends and not not waste time on fruitless efforts.
thing is when they become his enemy usually by their own arrogant choices (which is not uncommon in today's world) he tends to get a rather sadistic nature with them its full blow enjoying them struggle.
he finds it fun to toy with people that he deems to be well.... 'jack *****' for lack of a proper word. he seems to observe things about others before anyone else realizes them and they turn out true. he can understand patterns and motives in the same manner before anyone else realize either. and he is usually correct. its his cold mannerisms that turn people off so to speak.
its not like he is inherently 'crazy' or 'evil', yes he has baggage but when he is around people he cherishes ive never met a softer person who takes time out of their life for people......
may sound weird and ironic and gender mixing traits but... he changes like a stereotypical scorned mother when he changes 'gears'.
i just want to know what is going on and so does he.
Well, I gotta tell ya, namelesshalfbreed, the hairs are standing up on the back of my neck.
I strongly suspect you are describing yourself - since you clearly agree with your "friend"s judgement and attitude, and do agree that his assessments of people is correct and when he's not harming deserving people, he's truly the nicest guy you can meet.
Actively choosing people to be cruel to, because they don't deserve your respect - and being very kind to other people who you do believe deserve respect - is the mindset of a very dangerous person. Especially because you're not even describing concrete behaviors that cause you to decide people should be treated sadistically - these are behaviors others wouldn't actually notice.
I'm very interested in true crime, and this mindset you describe - whether it is in fact you or your "friend" is the mindset of serial felons. I would really suggest that either you or your friend seek help.
I strongly suspect you are describing yourself - since you clearly agree with your "friend"s judgement and attitude, and do agree that his assessments of people is correct and when he's not harming deserving people, he's truly the nicest guy you can meet.
Actively choosing people to be cruel to, because they don't deserve your respect - and being very kind to other people who you do believe deserve respect - is the mindset of a very dangerous person. Especially because you're not even describing concrete behaviors that cause you to decide people should be treated sadistically - these are behaviors others wouldn't actually notice.
I'm very interested in true crime, and this mindset you describe - whether it is in fact you or your "friend" is the mindset of serial felons. I would really suggest that either you or your friend seek help.
2 Comments
I agree with all this 100%.
I'm sorry, I posted my answer before I could elaborate. I think that this type of attitude against other people is very dangerous and unhealthy. It's certainly not normal by any means.
OP, regardless of whether you're referring to a "friend" in this scenario, or talking about yourself, either way, counseling is required here to figure out where this pathological thinking is coming from and how to overcome it.
OP, regardless of whether you're referring to a "friend" in this scenario, or talking about yourself, either way, counseling is required here to figure out where this pathological thinking is coming from and how to overcome it.
I think it would be very helpful to describe what sadistic behavior it is you're talking about. It all sounds very dramatic, but without a frame of reference, it sounds more like an overly active imagination, to me anyways.
Well, eventually you're going to do something and get caught, and charged with a crime. You can't go around doing sadistic things to people and get away with it forever.
Read Bad Childhood, Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and see if you can go forward with a more positive outlook than getting pleasure out of hurting other people.
Read Bad Childhood, Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and see if you can go forward with a more positive outlook than getting pleasure out of hurting other people.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ya know, I'm not sure what to tell you. Both you and this 'other person' (or is it you?) seem to make excuses for the behavior and actually seem pretty okay with it. Although you write that they feel guilty== that doesn't add up. If they had true regret or remorse, they'd change their ways. Flat out. They CHOOSE not to. They choose to be like this. All the kind and good or whatever toward 'acceptable' people is wiped out by the one act of purposeful cruelty to others.
Your feeling worried and bad for the person who does these things is misplaced--- your empathy should be for their victims. The way you wrote your first post makes it sound like you too feel the VICTIMS 'sort of' deserved it. This tells me that it if it isn't actually you why you are friends with them. The rest of us would judge a person who acted like this very harshly.
Maturity, knowing right from wrong and realizing life is too short to surround yourself with less than quality people has put me in the position of ending a friendship with someone like this. Perhaps raising your own bar with who you associate with would lead you to a better life. Sincerely.
I don't buy 'therapy' did this. This is some kind of rationalizing that someone has told you or if it is you a way you rationalize within yourself. Sociopaths LOVE how they feel when they have that adrenaline rush you describe. Anyone trying to change that is met with the sick mind of these individuals who don't want to give it up.
So, in conclusion. This person doesn't really want to change. And if it isn't you--- there is nothing you can do to help them unless they themselves ask for help. If it is really someone else, we are talking third party which isn't helpful. They need to ask for help themselves. But they most likely won't because they really want justification for their actions rather than to change them. So, if it isn't you---- walk away. Hope and pray that this person gets professional help for real. And if it is really you, stop kidding yourself. good luck
Your feeling worried and bad for the person who does these things is misplaced--- your empathy should be for their victims. The way you wrote your first post makes it sound like you too feel the VICTIMS 'sort of' deserved it. This tells me that it if it isn't actually you why you are friends with them. The rest of us would judge a person who acted like this very harshly.
Maturity, knowing right from wrong and realizing life is too short to surround yourself with less than quality people has put me in the position of ending a friendship with someone like this. Perhaps raising your own bar with who you associate with would lead you to a better life. Sincerely.
I don't buy 'therapy' did this. This is some kind of rationalizing that someone has told you or if it is you a way you rationalize within yourself. Sociopaths LOVE how they feel when they have that adrenaline rush you describe. Anyone trying to change that is met with the sick mind of these individuals who don't want to give it up.
So, in conclusion. This person doesn't really want to change. And if it isn't you--- there is nothing you can do to help them unless they themselves ask for help. If it is really someone else, we are talking third party which isn't helpful. They need to ask for help themselves. But they most likely won't because they really want justification for their actions rather than to change them. So, if it isn't you---- walk away. Hope and pray that this person gets professional help for real. And if it is really you, stop kidding yourself. good luck
1 Comments
not everything is clear cut. the world is full of greys and full of evil. sometimes the best of us need to make bad choices for the right reasons.
thats the science and mind set of him
thats the science and mind set of him
counselling is what made him this way. years of it. i'm not putting him through that again. even doctors make mistakes.
and in a clinical outlook they don't know you your just another person they are paid to talk to. i would prefer a peer be his outlet thank you very much.
and to elaborate. people who bully others treat them like objects and materials etc etc.
those are the kinda people my friend tends to get sadistic with...
not some random person, it takes quiet a bit to get on his bad side.
and in a clinical outlook they don't know you your just another person they are paid to talk to. i would prefer a peer be his outlet thank you very much.
and to elaborate. people who bully others treat them like objects and materials etc etc.
those are the kinda people my friend tends to get sadistic with...
not some random person, it takes quiet a bit to get on his bad side.
2 Comments
one more factor seems to be in play:
seeing him sadistic requires a visually mental and logically confirmed form of betrayal. he has many bad factors in his life that hurt and haunt him long before all of this.
you could consider his sadistic nature a guilty pleasure he only feeds when he feels a need to protect others or give others what they have coming. i can attest to that
seeing him sadistic requires a visually mental and logically confirmed form of betrayal. he has many bad factors in his life that hurt and haunt him long before all of this.
you could consider his sadistic nature a guilty pleasure he only feeds when he feels a need to protect others or give others what they have coming. i can attest to that
and contrary to what you may all think of him. he has felt so much guilt..... this sadistic nature is like a burst of adrenaline for his mind. it helps him push past the 'needed evil' acts he needs to take care of to protect who he cares about. but the guilt does stack up and when the moment is done. he feels it we can all see his regret but knowing it was one of only a few options
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. Well, that is a complex question. Basically, your friend has a mean streak and finds a bit of joy in watching others have a hard time and can manipulate things so that they do. And 'might' just for fun. Probably more common than we know. But most suppress this. Through age, maturity and the knowledge that what goes around comes around . . . most just understand that they have this side of themselves but don't feed it, allow it to come out, etc.
Unless you are suggesting he is either a sociopath or a psychopath. These are mental health disorders and not to be taken lightly. Someone that is sociopath/psychopath needs mental health professional help and whether they can overcome it or not remains to be seen.
Many have urges and tendencies that are unkind at times (often actually brought on by deep down anger, lack of self worth, insecurity, jealousy--- all weaknesses in the person who has the urge to see another squirm or suffer) and they work on this and EVOLVE into better people that suppress that. If it can't be suppressed, then this person needs critical professional help.
Either way, I would not enter into any type of relationship with a person that has this issue going on as it puts you at risk. Do you wan them to turn on you when they become angry with you? Do you want to be associated with their meanness? If they get to the point that this is something in their past/youth, then reassociate with them, but until then, they don't really sound like good friend material. good luck
Unless you are suggesting he is either a sociopath or a psychopath. These are mental health disorders and not to be taken lightly. Someone that is sociopath/psychopath needs mental health professional help and whether they can overcome it or not remains to be seen.
Many have urges and tendencies that are unkind at times (often actually brought on by deep down anger, lack of self worth, insecurity, jealousy--- all weaknesses in the person who has the urge to see another squirm or suffer) and they work on this and EVOLVE into better people that suppress that. If it can't be suppressed, then this person needs critical professional help.
Either way, I would not enter into any type of relationship with a person that has this issue going on as it puts you at risk. Do you wan them to turn on you when they become angry with you? Do you want to be associated with their meanness? If they get to the point that this is something in their past/youth, then reassociate with them, but until then, they don't really sound like good friend material. good luck
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