A clearer mind (correction)

[Maya007]

Thanks for responding. We used protection and my job is taking care of me. Protection is everything to me and I stressed that we should use protection in the beginning.

To explain I was cut a month before we started dating, I was tested 2 times and the test was negative, on the evening of our dinner I wanted to make sure that I was everything was ok, I knew that the tests was negative but thinking negatively I went to get another test done. Not thinking that the test would be anything wrong I had a feeling to be sure and at comfort, after eating dinner one thing led to another and we became intimate. Yes, we used protection and the intimancy lasted throughout the night. Remember, my tests was negative so I had nothing to worry about. Nearly a week past, my results came back and it said abnormal (?) I was confused and left with no explaination. I was terrified, I contacted him and ask if we could talk.
I told him what the test read and I felt he was faulting me but I tried to cover it up. Usually he walk me to my car but this time he said he would watch me through my window. Walking to my car on my own made me feel like I should have slapped myself, and I felt he needed comforting. I asked for help to explain to me what the information was really saying and it meant to be tested again. I am ok, but to make sure I asked if the blood could be tested, what came back was herpes only. You can not get herpes through blood. Now, after knowing the truth I am at a lost of my relationship. I feel that he's hurt and need some time to think about this but I was true to him and we did use protection. I know that people make mistakes and this one was a big mistake. I usually think things through but being lonely and scared will get you out of the thinking stage. I will accept whatever happens because a disease is something that is scary.  He stated that he was scared and is restless, it brought stress to him. He also said that he wanted a relationship in the beginning but now that this have happened he need time to think. I respect that.

[specialmom]

Thank you for clarifying as I've been confused reading your posts.  I did not know you could detect herpes through a blood test.  I need to look into that.  Anyway, what can you do?  You were doing your job and things happen.  I'm sure it is a risk with your profession and that is why they have the testing protocol.  You let him know about it.  I think that is what it is.

I do feel like he is letting you know that the relationship is over for now.  I think you have to let that go.  As you said, you will go on to find someone else.  It is good to view intimacy as sacred.  Some people wait until marriage for that reason to make sure that their partner views it the same way.  In this case, you were dating and your partner has decided that due to whatever reason (I think the testing was a smokescreen and he took that as his opportunity to end things) to move on.  Maybe he is just thinking things over.  Being exposed to a sexually transmitted disease is not something to be taken lightly.  Even though you used protection . . .   he does seem to be over reacting.  So, it brings me back to his wanting to leave the relationship regardless of the exposure/testing you had.  

I agree with perch.  Your comment that you will always stay in touch with him due to your period of romance is concerning.  I don't have contact with past boyfriends and would not appreciate my husband staying in touch with someone he had a relationship with.  You move on.  Once in a blue moon you stay friends with someone you shared an intimacy with but it is actually somewhat rare.  People tend to find someone new and let go of their past.  Happens quite naturally.  You may say hello if you pass on the street or you might bump into each other often if you share circles of friends-------- but calling and staying "in touch" due to once sleeping together isn't typical.

I only write that because your expectation level might be out of sync with his.  I'd give him some time--------  a month with no contact.  Then send him a text asking how he is doing (or a call).  If he responds favorably, maybe he will want to talk further with you.  But you do not want to be trying to contact him for a bit.  
Just my opinion.  I hope you have clear tests from now on.   I hope you meet the man of your dreams.  I hope it lasts forever and ever.  best wishes to you.

[perch101]

I think you have gotton good advise so far.

You shared some time with this person - now he seems to have taken a step back - I know this can hurt. BUT the thing is - he has stopped contacting you, you have tried to contact him and since he is not responding there is nothing else you can do.

Your line - ''and since we shared intimancy together I will always try to keep in touch with him" is a bit concerning - if you keep calling and calling (despite him not returning the calls/texts or whatever - you are going to send him running for the hills! And possibly have him start thinking stalker!

I imagine this must hurt because it sounds like you fully expected this to turn into a full-fledged relationship (you mention ''This man is the picture I've drawn for years''). But at the end of the day you dated for a bit, were intimate once, now he's backing away unfortunately there is nothing you can do but bow out with grace and wait and see if he does call. I know that you believe you "saw in his eyes" at your first meeting that he fell for you - but remember that this is your interpretation - and I'm sorry to say that his actions are not matching up to this.

Believe me - I'm not saying this to hurt or upset you - but to hopefully give you some perspective to let this one go. The ball is in his court right now - if the next move is his - great! But it can't be yours because you've done all you can.

Best of luck.

[Maya007]

Thanks for the response, as the days pasts by my strength is getting stronger.

To explain, I again was cut on my job in which I handle DNA. My job was and is aware of this, I am seeking help in all this. The tests are negative of MY RESULTS... The accident happened a month before we started dating I was told that I was in the clear but continue to test.

The blood of the other person was tested and it came back positive of herpes only, No I do not have herpes and not trying to get it through any means.

After a while of us dating we began to have strong feelings for each other and became intimate. On the day of us having an intimate time. I was tested again and recieved the results back as ABNORMAL (to be tested again) which does not mean I have the disease. To explain, I was negative the entire time so I felt to have no reason to alert him. I was not thinking of it. After the intimancy, a week later I recieved one abnormal result. I panic, and shared it with him. He was ok, with it in the beginning but soon became distance with me. I understand that this scared him, but I was honest and did not trap him (protection was used).

I like to be honest and understanding but for him to be well educated and have it greatly in his life. He have a fogged mind and it's not getting through to him that herpes is only a sex and skin transmitted disease, not through blood. I am giving it time and since we shared intimancy together I will always try to keep in touch with him. I want him to know and understand that I cared for him but the accident wasn't on purpose.

Again, Protection was used and this is JOB Related.
I hate to give my body away like that, this is my temple and if I don't care to protect it no on will. That is my main hurt and concern, I know that there are many men that is not only like him but is better than him. That goes for me, he may find someone like me or better than me.

This man is the picture I've drawn for years and there have to be a reason why he came in my path.
I hope this explain much clearer than the other two before. If not go back and read them all (clearer mind) you will get understanding soon.
Some people can not handle the truth and I gave it to him in a way, he understands but is in shock. I want to comfort him but I have to stand still and let God handle it. The night of us meeting he fell for me, I saw it in his eyes through his heart, he did not want the night to end, each and everyday I was getting a special and sweet text from him and he wanted to see me more, but I thought it should go smooth and slow. If you rush in a relationship you have nothing to look forward to because you will know eveything quickly and will miss the best things which is very small things. Bye now and try to understand. Thanks I need this feedback, it helps.

[Flavoured]

I understand that this is hard for you, very. And yes the fear of being lonely makes our reasoning fly out the window. You did the right thing by telling him about your situation, but I would have told him before we had sex, that way, he'll make up his mind what he wants, and you still have your dignity intact.

As special said, it looks like he wants the relationship to end. And this is the perfect excuse. But as we dont know what's on his mind (we aren't God) he may really be stressed and need time to sort things out in his mind. But honestly, I wouldn't wait for too long.

[specialmom]

I'm just confused.  Are you employed and working with blood material or was this exposure through sexual contact?  Are you saying that you have herpes?  Herpes does not eradicate but lays dorment and has flare ups.  It is sexually transmitted.  Are you saying that you have herpes and did not tell him?  I'm just really confused with what you are saying.  Sorry, I'm trying to help.

I think that either way, he is telling you that he is not wanting to date any longer.  I  know that hurts if you weren't ready for it to be over.  But if you've tried contacting him and he does not respond, you have to move on.  Maybe he will change his mind but you can not count on that.  So I'd treat this like a break up and mend your broken heart.  Distract yourself with other things, journal your feelings, exercise for the mind and body.  Good luck to you.