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Addiction to Boyfriend?
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Addiction to Boyfriend?

I think I'm addicted to my boyfriend. When talking about our relationship to friends, it's the only way I can describe the things I feel sometimes. I'm 21 and we dated for about two years starting when I was 18. We broke up because we were fighting alot and I was so devastated, I quit school and ran away to Australia. My trip lasted 8 months. While we were broken up we still constantly saw each other and I decided to leave because I felt like I was holding him over until he found someone else. While I was gone he always contacted me and became very depressed while I was gone. I was trying to get over him and didn't respond. I didn't think he wanted me, that's why I left. Sometime after I got back home, he found out and started messaging me again wanting to see me. I resisted at first. Eventually I visited him, still resisting being nice or liking him. But I soon feel for him again and we've been seeing each other for the last 7 months now. I feel as strongly, if not more strongly about him now as I ever did. We are way more open and communicate a lot more. We are both really afraid of ending up apart again and are working very hard.

When I speak about being addicted to him however, I'm not only speaking about loving him in general and ending u with him again after a bad breakup. Ever since we started dating when I was 18 I was addicted to everything about him. I love the way he smells. Not his cologne or lotion or soap. Just his personal smell. I could probably identify him if I went on a trip to another country right now, was blindfolded by a friend and brought somewhere for a surprise. If I smelled him I would know it was him. Mostly the strongest smell of Him I can get it through his face like his cheeks or kissing him. But I love kissing his cheeks the most. I love the way they feel and I am aways pushing my face up onto his. I know this sounds bizarre...all our friends think it's weird because we are always touching faces. When we're together all I have to do is look at him with a mildly irritable, whiny look on my face and he knows I want cheek kisses. I love his skin and I love his eyes and every single feature about him. His real smile..not the one people do when they are mildly happy but the full out one when his eyes shine and he finds something exceptionally funny. I love his hair and his voice and I just think he is absolutely perfect. I'm back at University now and he visits me every weekend. When he shows up I automatically feel calmer. As though a huge weight was on my chest that I wasn't aware of, has been lifted. I don't sleep during the week. I have insomnia. It's super annoying. But when he shows up, I sleep so well for like 12 hours at a time! This never happens when he isn't around. I just love laying with him and smelling him and sometimes we fall asleep hugging with our cheeks touching or I sleep directly on top of him so that I can be as close as possible.

I know everyone is going to think I'm crazy, but I didn't just begin behaving this way without positive feedback from him. He loves that I love cheeking him (what I call it) and says he loves it just as much, I just don't believe him. He asks for it too a lot of the time too though. He sometimes suggests the sleeping arrangements and he is just as addicted to me in some ways as well. I know most boyfriends/guys are like this but he just can't stop touching me and wanting me. It's a little annoying cause I don't always want sex, but It's flattering how now matter what I do, he will react... I've never met a boy that reacts in this way to such minor stimulus... especially after 3 years!! And despite the fact that I say I love hugging him and smelling him, it never lasts too long because I don't love extended physical contact and cuddling annoys me, but he gets so grumpy when we aren't cuddling when we could be.

I just love him so much and I feel like it affects my entire life..it does since my life revolves around him and his around me. And i just cant stop smelling or feeling him and can't sleep without him and I feel so sad when we aren't together.

I don't know if this is addiction or me being obsessed. I've tried thinking about it objectively before, but it's difficult to do from the position I'm in. Please let me know and let me know how I can be better? I don't know if I'm ready to change... would it be so bad if it didn't?
Tags: Love, sex, Life
2 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
It sounds like you guys are working on things and that's all you can ask out of a relationship, that both party's are trying. The only thing bad about "being addicted to him" is if your putting your self in a bad situation and love him to much to get out, be carful of that.
No one can truly fully love you until you love your self. So make sure your taking care of your self. Also try to make sure that you both have friends outside the relationship and spend time away from each other once in a while.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi there.  Well, addiction is a clinical word and no, doesn't apply to whaty ou describe.  You like things about him and are attracted to that.  Perhaps in an over the top way and I'd encourage you to work on you a bit more.  By that I mean, it is great to love things about your partner, we all do, but you sound like you could bolster your own self a bit.  

I completely agree that you need to have life away from your boyfriend.  Do your own hobbies and have your own friends and grow a sa person.  You are very young and this sounds much  more about that than something to be worried about.  

good luck
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