Hello, I've been married for 6 years now and me and my husband have had our problems. We have lost trust in each other and are trying to work it out. Any suggestions on how we can both start to build trust.
Hi there, welcome to the forum. Well, lots of couples actually go through very rough patches and come out on the other side closer than they were prior to the down period. So, have faith and hope first of all.
Was there cheating involved? Infidelity is very hard to overcome and I always recommend a professional such as a marriage therapist when this is part of the problem.
I would try to stay connected. Have some times in which you can't talk about anything deep ---- you are together for just fun--- doing things you both like that aren't heavy emotionally. Talk frequently. Have periods in which one person is allowed to vent their feelings for a short time with no interruption and the other listens. Take turns with that and see it as harmless. Be open with one another, allow the other person to look at things like phones and computers if they want to within reason.
Find the book the love dare. It's a good one. And really, I can't say enough about marriage counseling. Lots of luck to you. Think of where you have been as something to get you to where you need to be as a couple. We sink to low depths to learn that we don't want it that way and to motivate us to change things. good luck dear and let us know how it goes!
If your both willing to work through it, it can be done. I'd also advice to find an older more mature successful couple who've been married and gone through difficulties.
Trust is always such a difficult issue, and sometimes it doesn't even need a bit even to start it. Just take it slow, and slowly open up, listening to how each person is thinking or feeling helps you understand the person and what choices to make to improve the relationship.
The biggest help for me when I went through something similar was having constant encouragement to keep talking and speaking about how i was feeling, and sometimes that means asking specifically how they feel after something has happened... and both deciding to make an effort to be more open AND at the same time, understanding so you don't just trample over eachothers feelings.
Like the above post said also, just enjoy each other's time together. Find something you can do together that is fun (eg. sport) Realtionships are always built on friendship, commitement and emotional (in love feeling) aspects. So just being friends and having fun occasionally... not as lovers or just staying there cas you have to, will help the trust :) hope this helps.. even tho i'm not quite sure of the issue... just talk through it and enjoy time together :)
Trust can be regained, but I'd guess you'd have to get to the bottom of what it was that caused the trust to be lost in the first place. I mean, something had to happen to cause the trust to be lost.... it just doesn't go away.
Communication, I believe is the key. Being able to sit down and have adult conversations about everything and anything is essential, and being able to allow ones self to actually digest what the other partner is saying is major.
We so often feel as if "we" need to be right. So many times it has nothing to do with being right or wrong. It has everything to do with being able to listen to, understand, and potentially make some concessions or compromises. Sometimes it revolves around both parties to dig in... not to be right but to solve problems.
It is difficult, but it can be done. I wish you both well.
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