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Advice husband problems
Hi. Advice please. My son is going on 3 months now in also have a 1 year old I'm 24 an been married for almost 4 yrs my husband did not want me to return back to work but I did anyways a month ago I like working I like making my own money but past couple weeks me in my husband been having problems we don't see each other much due to different work schedules I'n when I'm working my mother will watch my 3 month old so he don't have too but my husband is a very mean person when he wants to me he will call me name in just hurt my feelings in not care for example the other day he woke up being mean to me calling me names saying I should just move out because we don't see each other anyways in he claims I'm seeing someone els in that's who I'm spending time with because I'm not spending it with my husband in that is rediously I love my husband but I'm tired of it I'm kinda lost in my feelings are hurt by this man I been with him since young teens please give me advice
Thank you for all advice given I I'm gonna differently try to talk to my husband
When it comes to in laws living with youi hear you. It stinks. My mom has lived with us for 7 years and it took about 5 for me to just relax. Funny my hubby dealt with it better than I did. I still don't like it but I've come to accept that it is my duty as a child to honor my parent. But it sounds like your hubby doesn't like being vulnerable. That's how I am. I don't like talking about my emotions is rather write a letter or text. I am very uncomfortable opening up. I'd rather bury it deep inside and get angry. But my husband is kind patient and merciful. Because of the respect we have for each other we are free to be who we are without fear of being hey by the other. Go with it, tell him to put it all on paper and you'll write back. Actually it works cause you can't really argue on paper. You have to take the time and really think about what and how you want to say something.
He don't want to talk it out he don't say how he feels he told me thru text messages how he was feeling when I try to talk to him about it he says to leave him alone or he will walk away or start name calling.. in with the work thing I have to work opposite schedule do to my mom watching my son in my husband working. In also his mother MOVED in with us said she would help with our kids in she don't she don't do nothing but complain she even went to the point to telling him he needs to listen to the song lyrics I listen to because there about cheating the song she's talking about is called she's not the cheating kind by brooks in dun..I been telling him for some time now that she needs to move or we do in he agreed than he says I'm not gonna make her move or I'm not gonna leave her when she can't afford the bills. Like something does gotta give here with his mother around it don't feel like our home anymore
Where I said "Do you think the two of you could talk to him together with a counselor or pastor, " there was a typo. I meant "Do you think you could talk to him together with a counselor or pastor?" I didn't mean to imply you and your mother should talk to him. Only the two of you, with a counselor to help keep things flowing so you can say things to him and he can understand.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, no one should be nasty and call their partner names. That is not acceptable. But he IS trying to tell you that your work schedule is making him feel disconnected from you. That's a problem. No job is worth that in my opinion. Is there anyway you can work things out to be around more as a mom and wife? As suggested, different hours? Cut down to more part time?
Only if you want to make this work, I should say, is that important.
And he needs to learn to communicate with you in a productive way. How do you do with heart to heart discussions where EACH is open to how the other feels? Working on this should help.
good luck
Only if you want to make this work, I should say, is that important.
And he needs to learn to communicate with you in a productive way. How do you do with heart to heart discussions where EACH is open to how the other feels? Working on this should help.
good luck
If you are working and your mom watches your child, it does sound like you could leave your husband if it gets too bad. Do you think the two of you could talk to him together with a counselor or pastor, and you could explain at that time that his abusive language makes you want to not even try?
I agree. Making time for hubby should be a priority. One day the kids will grow up and it will be just the two of you. You need to foster a good relationship now so you're not strangers. It should be marriage first then children. If you disregard his feelings it will cause resentment. You may not agree but it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Although it is wrong for him to hurt you with his words it shows he is hurting. Hurt people hurt people. Take the time to communicate with each other but set the boundaries at the beginning. Say let's talk about this without emotions or intentions of hurting one another so we can solve the problem not yell at it
It's fine if you work but if you are going to continue working you should get the same hours that he works that way when his off your off and you two can spend quality time together
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