After 9 years, you'd think I'd know whats going on

[Omusicgame]

Well, the thing is with me and my wife.  Now, I've been together with her for about 9 years, and ive been married for 2 with her.  People are always telling me how lucky i am to have a sweet quiet girl, and we have a place, and jobs, and the whole 9 yards.  But i find my heart sometimes discontent, and other times just thankful.  I dont know, its like a see-saw.  I did one time kiss another girl when we were married and that felt really really good.  I just cant remember the last time i kissed my wife and it felt really really good.  But shes there for me, and i fear if i leave her, im not gonna find someone as good as her.  But at the same time, i feel sometimes trapped, and wondering if my heart really wants this.  I dont know what my heart wants.  Can someone help me?

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with the posters that this is a good question to see a therapist about, since deciding to leave the marriage would have serious ramifications for you and your wife.  However, I don't think that just because a person (your wife) is a good person, it means you automatically should stay.  I know a lot of great people who I would not care much for being married to, much as I like and admire them.  The only thing is, don't take a lack of thrill when kissing as a big sign.  When people have been together a while, kissing is not quite as thrilling as the first time, since a lot of what makes it thrilling at the beginning is the suspense.  (Will she kiss me or won't she?)  Since you know she will, it might not give you that huge zing.  But that is not a reason to suspect the love is gone.  In fact, in a good marriage, the love grows.

Anyway, good luck with your therapist working this out.

[pinkpoodle]

I totally agree with the get into therpay advice. it sounds like you have a wonderful wife. Let me tell you from hurtful life time experiences that loyal good people are hard to come by and should be cherished and appriciated. Your wife would be so hurt if she knew you kissed another woman.

Talk to your single male friends and they will tell you that it is not all that much fun being single. Better yet listen to the online dating horror stories.

It's your life and it's up to you how you want to live it. I would say go for the quality you really do want to live a life that you can be proud of.
Good Luck

[specialmom]

I recall your previous post.  I remember that you had some mental health concerns that needed addressing.  Have you since seen a psychiatrist/psychotherapist to determine any diagnosis or treatment for that?  Any progress in that area?  

No one can tell you if you married the right person or not.  But, I can tell you that if you are going to be with someone other than your wife whether it is to kiss or more, you should end your relationship.  Cheating isn't the answer and will only make you feel bad about yourself in the long run (or at least it should).  

Many people have doubts that they are married to the right person.  You don't have kids yet--------- so you should perhaps talk to a therapist and try to sort out your feelings to see if this is where you want to be or not.  
goodluck