Relationships Community
Am I Too Attached Too Early
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Am I Too Attached Too Early

Recently, I got out of a relationship because I was unhappy. Shortly after, I met a guy through a close friend and I found myself falling for him after day one. It has been two months in and we are still not official, but he tells me how much he likes me and at some point wants to be officially dating. I find myself telling him if we weren't talking, I'd most likely be living in another state doing something else with school or work. When he talks about what he'd be doing, he tells me "I'm letting you know now, if I decide to move somewhere, I am going to do it regardless if we are together." Am I messing up by giving him priority over moving somewhere else if the opportunity came  up? I really like this guy and have never been happier in a relationship than how I am now. Am I too attached too soon in this relationship?

Help!
6 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
3149845_tn?1415046551
Hi, his statement about moving with regardless if you were together does not really show hes head over heals about you. I think this is more of you having feeling about him.
Just dont let this turn into a chasing game as you will be hurt in the end. When 2 people fall madly in love they will go everywhere together, if only one has this intensity, that one will only be following the other everywhere in an ongoing attempt to win them over.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Yes, I think You are 'feeling' too attached too soon.

Love isn't a "feeling", it isn't as simple as a 'feeling'.  Love grows and builds and takes time.

You say You "found YourSelf falling for Him after day one".  That doesn't happen in one day - in one day, it's more a matter of You are 'jumping'....not 'falling'.

He's being very clear - at "some point" he wants to be "officially dating".  Well, that "point" isn't "officially" here for Him yet

You say You'd be living in another state if You weren't "talking" to Him and He says if He decides to move somewhere, He's going regardless if You are together.

It appears to me that answers Your question.  

You shouldn't be 'falling' for anyone.  Just go on with Your life and when You've CHOSEN the right partner for YourSelf, You won't have to ask this question.

Blank
134578_tn?1404951303
Gotta agree with Tinker that you are jumping, not falling.  You weren't very long from a different relationship, and suddenly presto, Mister Perfect walks into your life?  Mister He Looks OK Because I Don't Want to Be Alone, more like.  Why not strike out on your own, go to that new town, set up a satisfactory life for yourself complete with cute apartment that you decorate to your own taste and peaceful evenings reading or fun evenings with new work friends?  See how you like you, by yourself, and find your boundaries?  Otherwise, you're going right down the same road that leads to breaking off a relationship because you just aren't happy.  How well are you able to sort your need (to not be solo) from genuine interest in a new guy?  It just sounds like he walked in when you needed someone, and you glommed on.  Try to relax the grip and do what makes YOU happy, for you.
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
Yep, too attached too soon.  I've never 'talked' to someone for two months without dating them if they liked me in that way and I them.  I'm not sure I understand that.  

Anyway, yes absolutely you are messing up by making someone you are really just talking too over where to go for work and opportunity.  If I had a dollar for every serious crush I've had in my lifetime . . .  I'd be able to buy myself something nice.  Crushes come and go.

follow the job.  good luck
Blank
1268057_tn?1419171505
Agree with AB, SM and Tink....absolutely.

I don't see a problem with liking this guy, but he shouldn't be your "whole world" and you definitely shouldn't be using him as a determining factor whether you stay in a town or leave.

YOU should be the priority, not him.    

"When he talks about what he'd be doing, he tells me "I'm letting you know now, if I decide to move somewhere, I am going to do it regardless if we are together."........It's obvious he is making himself the priority as you should too.  
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Thank you everyone for your comments. I decided to ask this same question to the guy to figure out what page he was on and we finally came to a clear understanding of everything. I don't understand why it is so hard for guys to express their feelings through words. It is almost like they try, but do not understand that really they are leaving us guessing
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
1268057_tn?1419171505
Blank
Londres70
France
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
3149845_tn?1415046551
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
thatquietgirl
CA