Am i over reacting ?pleace help

[Carito275]

Hello ever one i need you help... So my boyfriend of 1year 4months is texting his ex girlfriend and this really bothers me it puts me into tears wen i fined out they been talking this girl plomo as his first love he adored her but then the broke up i dont kno ese wenthe reason i dont like them talking is becaus ese thats his ex a while ago he toled me he still had gilling for her but i dont know but him talking to her maked me fill like im not we orth his time and that il never be abole to compair with her that il never be good enough even though she cheated and thoughit seems hoe hard i try im never good enough it hurts me so much!! I read some messaged.of him say i want to hang out and that they miss eachother ect it kills me im a strong person but this hurts me alot as im righting this im crying and he knows i dont like that im sorry this is kinda long i needed to vent thank you for reading

[Londres70]

Ditto Specialmom.  

Hmmm....haven't you been telling him for a couple of months how you feel about all this and he was still doing what he wanted?  Now, all of a sudden, he tells you he will stop this behavior?  I can't see it happening.  

I believe you are being totally naive about all this and basically enabling him to behave the way he is behaving.  He knows you will put up with this nonsense.  

Well...it is your life and your choice.  

Hope things work out.  

[specialmom]

Sweetie, you are ignoring red flags.  It's okay to do so but in a month or two, it will be something else.  And as time goes on, your complaining about it will lose its steam.  He is who he is and you've never written anything good about him.  I do wish you luck but just really hope that you look at this man realistically.  Peace

[Carito275]

I talked to him about it and how i felt he said that he will never talk to her again

[specialmom]

Agree with Londres.  I had forgotten  your previous posts and will say at this point, staying means accepting him as is------  which is not a very good boyfriend.  Raise your standards or learn to live with less.  This relationship seems to have a high risk of failure.  good luck

[Londres70]

Dear.....obviously these are the same problems/issues you had in February and it is now April.  

I am not sure why you are sticking around and not ending this relationship.  

If you don't mind sharing him, then stay.  

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, I do set firm boundaries and chit chatting (which text messaging basically is) with his ex would be off my list of appropriate boyfriend behavior.  Flat out I would not accept this and ask him to stop.  If he gives you flak, that is a problem.  If he accepts you crying and being upset and finds the texting more important, that is a problem.  If he is that attached still to communicate in that way, that is a problem.

Some ex's remain friends but only if their current partner is cool with it and in on the fun (as in the ex becomes their friend too).  

So, I'm seeing red flags here and am not sure I'd stay with him if he doesn't stop this activity.  good luck

[Carito275]

Ok i will wen i see him thank you il tell you how it turned out well thats if you want to know

[teko]

Yes, talke to him earnestly and honestly about how this is making you feel but try not to be as blunt as I was in describing it all!

[Carito275]

Thank you im going to try and explain to him how i fill and to stop talking to her lets see how he responds i just hope he dosent get mad because it seems like he would

[teko]

What Im sayint to you is this. You either have a solid relationship with this man or you dont. Do you trust him?

If this woman is an ex, he needs to either break contact with her or be honest with you about his feelings and why he keeps contact.

Then you have to decide if he refuses to break contact, how much you trust him, and what you are willing to sacrifice for this relationship and if you want to take a back seat to the x.

Only you can make that choice but I hate to see women put up with antics out of desperation of trying to hang on to a relationship where they put up with being disrespected at every turn.

So who is going to take the back seat. You? or Her? Ask your man who he chooses and expect him to honor the decision . If its you, she is not to be contacted or talked to out of respect for your relationship. If he refuses, get out.

[Carito275]

They had plenty of time so you are saying let him go on and talking to her let them flirt .....! As i sit there looking at this happen

[teko]

They are called an ex for a reason. Doesnt sound like too much of an x to me. Sounds like you guys jumped into a relationship before the other relationship had time to clear its baggage.

Not a whole lot you can do at this point other than wait it out or clear out until they finish their business.