Relationships Community
Anxiety Regarding Relationships/Sex
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Anxiety Regarding Relationships/Sex

So, everytime I am either in a new relationship or close to starting one, I begin to get extremely anxious and stressed. Especially when sex is a large possibility. I really freak myself out and I haven't the faintest clue why. This anxiety has caused me to back out of several relationships that would have been nice and loving.

Currently, I have met a man who I am attracted to, and who I know wouldn't do anything I didn't want him to, but again, I am anxious.

Any ideas what I can do to get rid of this anxiety?
Related Discussions
5 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Just be yourself, and if you do not want sex tell him so. he will respect you for your honesty, also just tell him you are a bit nervous, he may be also  luck  jo
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
How bad does the anxiety get?  Meaning, do you have a severe panic attack?  Some forms of anxiety can be controlled by refocusing your thoughts and gaining control of them.  You may want to speak with a counselor or a therapist to learn some coping skills.  Everyone gets those butterflies or nervousness when in a new relationship, but I think that's the funnest part about starting new relationships.  If you've been hurt so badly in the past, that may be why you are so afraid of your new relationships as well.  Like jo said, you don't have to do what you are not comfortable with doing.  If he is a good man he will wait.  
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Adele,

First of all, have u had sex again or is it the first time; and ur friend is it the first time as well?

The previous comments are correct, though anxiety itself can be reformed to a fruitful and evolving situation. For example when someone has exams and feels the anxiety he/she either can be stack and fail or can study more to pass the exams. The anxiety is always there.

Be as rational as u can... See whether u r ready for sex or not. Are u? If not say it out loud, if yes say it again though mention that u r not in the most comfortable situation; ur friend will be indeed more gentle.

Hope this is helpful,
Sun
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
What I think would help with the anxiety is to have a rule for yourself that you won't have sex until it is a committed relationship.  Yikes, that sounds old fashioned, I'm sure.  But if you know that someone loves you for you-----  sex is just part of it.  And they will love helping you through your anxiey and not judge you for it (and really, no guy will . . .)

If your anxiety is around the whole area of dating----  and other social events-----  could social anxiety be the culprit?  That is very treatable.  

But as the others have said, just be confident in yourself and know it is natural to have some apprehension with a new man/woman.  good luck!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
It isn't just social anxiety - I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. I have never had a problem in a social setting. This only seems to crop up when I am attracted to someone, we are getting ready to start dating or are dating, and then I just kinda freak and push them away.

Thanks for the advice though guys. I've been thinking about going to see a therapist and see how that goes.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
1268057_tn?1418174381
Blank
Londres70
France
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
3149845_tn?1415046551
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
580755_tn?1357673215
Blank
Vance2335
Buffalo, NY