Aa
Being Single
Why can't I get a date? Don't bother looking at my profile, it's depressing and stupid, and I haven't updated it in a LONG time. It kills me a little bit everyday when I have to wake up and realize that I'm the only unwillingly single person I know. Even the stupid fat guys get dates, so why is it that a fit, intelligent, 21 year old guy has never even heard someone his age say that they love him? Am I just a bad person?
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm just sorry so many of us have wasted time on this post. When I'm here posting to a stranger asking for help--- I gladly try to give it while ignoring something else that I could be doing. So, had he written that he was a college student that wanted to convince me that he knew exactly how I should feel about the world . . . I'd have cleaned the toilet instead. I don't mean to be harsh--------- but that is completely the truth. I'm not all that interested in pontificating about 'hipsters' and some one's loathing of religion. I"m a grown up . . . I've got toilets to clean.
That's fine, FF, to come here for a theoretical conversation.
It seems at this point, we all understand that you don't want to change, you just want to kind of muse about how you can't get a girl while holding tight to your current negative behavior and judgmental attitudes.
People do come here and say things like that. They go on a big rant about how completely miserable they are, and when people offer suggestions that would require some effort and changes, they pretty quickly say actually everything's great, I just needed to blow off steam yesterday.
So that's fine. It's your life. If you're more comfortable being lonely than you are comfortable with trying to change some of your behaviors that drive people away, it's your choice.
It seems at this point, we all understand that you don't want to change, you just want to kind of muse about how you can't get a girl while holding tight to your current negative behavior and judgmental attitudes.
People do come here and say things like that. They go on a big rant about how completely miserable they are, and when people offer suggestions that would require some effort and changes, they pretty quickly say actually everything's great, I just needed to blow off steam yesterday.
So that's fine. It's your life. If you're more comfortable being lonely than you are comfortable with trying to change some of your behaviors that drive people away, it's your choice.
I've got to tell you man, above you mentioned that you are "actually happy". I'd bet from your writing that you'd be very hard pressed in finding anyone who could see you as a happy person. You're extremely judgemental, and you clearly think that you are right and others are completely wrong. Add to that the fact that you are also very opinionated, and it is no wonder you cannot find a date.
You also mentioned being a "militant atheist". With no disrespect meant, but all of your rants seem rather militant. That alone will scare people or at least keep them at arms length. I understand that living in the middle of the bible belt cannot necessarily help your situation, but it just seems as if you've done nothing to avoid anything.
And believe me, if you have something you feel worth fighting for, at least in your opinion it is so keep after it... whatever it is. (I am agnostic and have run off quite a few people with my beliefs. Their problem is, they want me to accept their beliefs when I have my own. They also do not want me to have my beliefs and will judge me as wrong.(I always find that last sentence as funny, as christians are not supposed to judge.... anyways.))
From the outside looking in, you're rather intense. It takes a special kind of person to want to be involved for a long haul with someone so intense. I am not saying it cannot happen, but I think a person as intense as you could be looking a lifetime for a perfect mate. I think you have your mind set on a specific type of person.
(I had a buddy who was a hell of a guy. Women found him good looking. Dude was outgoing, helpful, knowledgeable, quick witted, made good money, had good morals.... And truthfully, the guy had no problem getting attention from women. The problem was, he had this ideal type. She had to be so tall, so big around, she had to enjoy hunting and fishing, she had to be a real good house keeper, she had to dress a certain way, she had to talk a certain way, her eyes had to be a certain color, she had to be from the country and not a big city, she had to know a little about farming..... I mean, the list went on. This guy would not settle for less and ended up dying a lonely man only because he was not willing to budge on what he thought was Ideal.)
I'd hate to see anyone go down that road. I think you need to keep in ind that everyone has ideas, ideals, and perceptions and are entitled to them just as you are. It is okay to not agree, but it isn't okay to fight about it. I've learned through the years to have a more open mind regarding everything. I've learned that what works for my neighbor might not work for me and vise-versa.
And the most important lesson I've ever learned is.... "you don't always have to be right." Acceptance.... I'm sorry to feel that you are in for a long bumpy ride. You seem not willing to compromise, and every relationship has some compromise in it.... every single one of them do.
I really hope you find peace or piece of mind....
You also mentioned being a "militant atheist". With no disrespect meant, but all of your rants seem rather militant. That alone will scare people or at least keep them at arms length. I understand that living in the middle of the bible belt cannot necessarily help your situation, but it just seems as if you've done nothing to avoid anything.
And believe me, if you have something you feel worth fighting for, at least in your opinion it is so keep after it... whatever it is. (I am agnostic and have run off quite a few people with my beliefs. Their problem is, they want me to accept their beliefs when I have my own. They also do not want me to have my beliefs and will judge me as wrong.(I always find that last sentence as funny, as christians are not supposed to judge.... anyways.))
From the outside looking in, you're rather intense. It takes a special kind of person to want to be involved for a long haul with someone so intense. I am not saying it cannot happen, but I think a person as intense as you could be looking a lifetime for a perfect mate. I think you have your mind set on a specific type of person.
(I had a buddy who was a hell of a guy. Women found him good looking. Dude was outgoing, helpful, knowledgeable, quick witted, made good money, had good morals.... And truthfully, the guy had no problem getting attention from women. The problem was, he had this ideal type. She had to be so tall, so big around, she had to enjoy hunting and fishing, she had to be a real good house keeper, she had to dress a certain way, she had to talk a certain way, her eyes had to be a certain color, she had to be from the country and not a big city, she had to know a little about farming..... I mean, the list went on. This guy would not settle for less and ended up dying a lonely man only because he was not willing to budge on what he thought was Ideal.)
I'd hate to see anyone go down that road. I think you need to keep in ind that everyone has ideas, ideals, and perceptions and are entitled to them just as you are. It is okay to not agree, but it isn't okay to fight about it. I've learned through the years to have a more open mind regarding everything. I've learned that what works for my neighbor might not work for me and vise-versa.
And the most important lesson I've ever learned is.... "you don't always have to be right." Acceptance.... I'm sorry to feel that you are in for a long bumpy ride. You seem not willing to compromise, and every relationship has some compromise in it.... every single one of them do.
I really hope you find peace or piece of mind....
Sorry, my son hit "enter".
I meant to add...music is the universal language (don't believe that bollocks about "math")...and if some people speak "pop"...then that's the language that they speak. it's not any less valid than someone who speaks "opera" or "grunge" or or or....we're all individuals, and that's the beauty of being human.
Your disdainful opinion for someone's music/religion/political views doesn't really matter...at all...and all it's going to do is make you lonely in the end if you try to insist that it should matter.
I meant to add...music is the universal language (don't believe that bollocks about "math")...and if some people speak "pop"...then that's the language that they speak. it's not any less valid than someone who speaks "opera" or "grunge" or or or....we're all individuals, and that's the beauty of being human.
Your disdainful opinion for someone's music/religion/political views doesn't really matter...at all...and all it's going to do is make you lonely in the end if you try to insist that it should matter.
Oh honey. I'm classically trained as well. I've had classical vocal, trumpet, guitar, and piano training. I taught myself flute and french horn. I spent most of my childhood passionately studying music. My husband is currently in a university music program to become a classical vocal teacher.
Does that mean that anyone else's music preferences are any less legitimate? um. no. How very elitist to think that just because a style of music doesn't follow the rules or require training/talent, it's an illegitimate style and people shouldn't be allowed to like it. It's just MUSIC.
If you were a true lover of music, you would acquiesce that the whole point of music is to reach inside of a person and speak to them. It's to bring joy, release, sadness, whatever emotion the person needs...that's the point of music. To teach, to relax, to rile up...and if pop music does that for someone...that's great! that's music at it's best - appealing to the heart of an individual. It's not MY music, but then - it doesn't have to be.
Does that mean that anyone else's music preferences are any less legitimate? um. no. How very elitist to think that just because a style of music doesn't follow the rules or require training/talent, it's an illegitimate style and people shouldn't be allowed to like it. It's just MUSIC.
If you were a true lover of music, you would acquiesce that the whole point of music is to reach inside of a person and speak to them. It's to bring joy, release, sadness, whatever emotion the person needs...that's the point of music. To teach, to relax, to rile up...and if pop music does that for someone...that's great! that's music at it's best - appealing to the heart of an individual. It's not MY music, but then - it doesn't have to be.
COMMUNITY LEADER
This is the "RELATIONSHIPS" forum and not really meant for conversation about things like world philosophies. What did happen by all of the tangents you went on was that I got a better understanding of social issues you have. I don't mean to offend you by that but it is an observation to do with what you want.
You can't control other people or the world------ you can only control yourself. I'll say it one more time----- different view points and unique qualities one has make someone interesting (and dude, I live IN Ohio so it isn't the state) so there has to be another reason why you tend to be so off putting to others. It happened here even and it is more about how you handle situations than what you are saying. good luck to you and I'll end this by saying this is about all I can do for you at this point to try and help. Again, good luck and I hope you have peace in your heart and find what you are desperately seeking.
You can't control other people or the world------ you can only control yourself. I'll say it one more time----- different view points and unique qualities one has make someone interesting (and dude, I live IN Ohio so it isn't the state) so there has to be another reason why you tend to be so off putting to others. It happened here even and it is more about how you handle situations than what you are saying. good luck to you and I'll end this by saying this is about all I can do for you at this point to try and help. Again, good luck and I hope you have peace in your heart and find what you are desperately seeking.
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