I don't know if there is a problem...so that's why i am posting this question.
My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly 2 years now. We were together for 4 months when i discovered he was having cyber sex with strange women. Mostly before we met, but he initiated it with one women, that i know of, while we were together. At the time we were together for almost 2 months. When i confronted him, he turned the blame on me. Immediately attacking me for going through his things. Telling me i am crazy etc. After about 2 hours he apologized and i forgave him. Months later, i discovered numerous porn emails that him and his friends send each other on a daily basis. I also discovered that he was visiting porn chat sites. Whether he was chatting to any girls, i don't know. He obviously had a thousand excuses. When i confronted him, again he turned blame on me and attacked me for invading his privacy. Again telling me i am crazy etc. Let me just clear one thing up first. I'm not the insecure kind of woman and i hardly check his emails or phone. But every time i have checked on him, it was my instincts that told me so and i always found something. Once again, i turned a blind eye. I accepted his excuses, but deep down it obviously still bothered me. Our sex life has always been amazing. We watched porn together and is always very open minded and up for new things in that department.His always put my pleasure first, but lately that has been going down hill. After the last time i discovered all that porn, he said we would let it go. But i don't and didn't believe it. I think now his just more clever and deletes everything. Lately he masturbates more than we have sex. I obviously believe it's 100% normal for men to masturbate, but is it normal when he does it even when he knows i'm in the mood for intercourse? I had a feeling when i nipped out to the shop last night that he was watching porn. Cause he took forever to open the door for me and he was sitting infront of the hardrive with the porn on it and he was buzy with the harddrive, going through the files. When i asked him he got extremely mad. Anger that shocked me into silence. Isn't that a guilty conscious? Lately he takes very long showers and i know his masturbating. He watches one sex scene on tv and immediately dissapears? It's now become a problem where i am constantly depressed and my self esteem has taken a dive. I'm 25 years old. I take care of myself and my body. I am a very attractive young women. He is 31 years old. Previously married, and his penis size is under average. I'm naming this, as i want to give you as much personal info as possible so that you can give me the correct advise. I have never in our entire relationship, been able to talk to him about my feelings as he never wants to hear it. He never listens to me or even try and understand. Every time he makes a misteak and i approach him about it he cuts me off or rolls his eyes at me. He tells me all the time that he wants to marry me etc, but he is slowly but surely turning into someone i can't stand. Nothings turn me off more than a man who needs to ejaculate everytime he sees a naked woman on tv, or guys who sits on the internet and searches naked women. If i can't talk to him about anything, how can we have a future? Please give me advise. I am terribly hurt, and not sure whether it's just me, or if i do have reason to be concerned.