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Avatar universal

Boyfriend only wants oral sex

My boyfriend age 29 and I have been dating for almost 2 years.  This is my longest relationship. From the beginning, my boyfriend had problems keeping an erection during intercourse.  I have to give him oral sex and most of the time he will get into some stage of erection.  I have to keep repeating this or just perform oral sex and forget about intercourse. It has been getting worse.  I guess I'm not as good as I was before. I didn't quite mind before because I can't orgasm. Now, I have problems reaching orgasm during stimulating myself.  I'm 43.  My vagina doesn't get moist anymore. I sneak in gels.  I never really orgasm during intercourse but during self-pleasuring.  I think because my father tried to fool me into having sex with him and he touched my vagina (16 years-old).  I guess I will never get over that and am just living with it.

I thought that going a month at a time without sex was okay since I just like stimulating him.  Now, I'm feeling rejected.  I have gained a lot of weight and thought that was the problem.  Apparently, he likes big women and always trying to make me fat.  Now, I'm on a liquid diet to see if he would want sex more if I return to the size I was when he met me.  He tells me that my large buttocks sexually excites him.  He claims that if I lose too much weight that he won't be as sexually attractive to me.

I didn't mind his looking at "big but porno" since I used to look at porno before I had a boyfriend.  Now, I think it can be a problem.  He told me that he ordered another DVD on oral sex and want me to look how she does it.  He had slipped and said that he would like to have sex with this porno star.  Later, he tried to cover it up.  I didn't complain about the porno or his secret fantasy.  I just listened.  I really felt indifferent.  I only had relationships in my 20's and the men didn't have this problem.

Once, he told me that he has tried so hard to be faithful and has been.  Trying so hard?  I didn't say anything, but I was thinking, "You have to try so hard?"

I'm wondering how can we get married with this situation?  He says at times to others that I might be his future wife without making any steps like proposing, introducing me to his father, buying a ring, etc.  I should just forget that.  I comfort myself thinking that I don't want to pay palimony, that he doesn't have religious beliefs, he's a momma boy (he lives downstairs with her), he's too young for me, too poor for me, I have teens, etc.  I would still want to do it will all these problems because I'm just a lonely woman.  I think that I should continue to lose weight and find someone else in the future.  I don't make friends easily and he and his mother are my only friends. He says there aren't any problems and it's just stress.  He is healthy with no medications.  He did have a head injury at 17.
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Avatar universal
I'm in the same situation only me and mine have been off and on for years it cuts deep emotionally I don't know what to do so advice would be appreciated thanks☺
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1 Comments
Have you openly talked to him about how it makes you feel?  Is he aware of your needs?  Guys DO really seem to love oral sex.  But your pleasure matters as well.  Some guys want to do it exclusively as well because it won't lead to pregnancy.  They are afraid of that.  So, talk to him and try to get on the same page.  good luck
Avatar universal
Dump him he is not worth it get on with your life  luck  jo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
As far as he is concerned, it is all about him? And it sounds like as far as your concerned it is also all about him? This does not sound like a pleasant relationship at all. I think you need to see a doctor about hormones and a therapist wouldnt hurt either. You have no idea what you are missing and once you experience that, he would be gone without a second thought.
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Avatar universal
He sounds pretty selfish and lazy to be honest. dose he not care about ur sexual pleasure? To be fair to him this could be a real problem with him but i still think it should be going both ways. Dose he ever give u oral sex? Why should u be the one doing all the work and receiving nothing in return. Im sorry but he sounds like a loser and u deserve better. Someone who wants to make u happy and take care of u and dosent have to "try to be faithful". This is is ultimatley ur choice. I think u will do the right thing.                      
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
No he doesn't it's to the point where I don't even remember what it feels like
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