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Boyfriend stuck to his mom

Hi,

I have been dating my boyfriend for the last 3 years. He is the nicest and sweetest boy in the world. He's always there for me, or tries to at least. I say this because 90% of the time, he's with his FREAKING MOM. We are both students in Montreal. I just finished my undergrad, going into my masters, and he studies medicine (so he has lots of studying to do). We are both 22 and see each other once a week (Fridays, and Saturdays, ONLY). I get to spend very very few moments with him alone. Most of the time his propositions entail seeing a movie with his mom at his place, in french (im an anglophone), and I don't even get to sleep with him in the same room. I have to sleep in a separate room. His mom is really sweet and loves me, but she's just ALWAYS there, in the middle of our relationship. When I ask him to do other things that do not involve his mom or his home, the answer is always no, because he feels guilty about leaving his mom alone. I understand that's really cute and considerate of him, but COME ON! He's also not allowed to sleep over, because his mom probably feels it'll distract him from his work. HELP PLS.......... Your advice, input, similar stories, anything, are very much appreciated :).
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134578 tn?1693250592
She, the aunt.  In other words, a few performances of this at dinner explained a whole lot about her husband's other behavior, and that was the end of the marriage.  

I might add, it's not surprising you like him ... guys who are passive like that and acquiesce to the women they care about make just as sweet boyfriends as they do sons.  They just aren't ever going to be more autonomous, macho or independent than that.  It all comes down to what kind of guy you want.  The things you love in him as a boyfriend might not be the things you want in a husband.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
Either he's going to get tired of the status quo once something changes (such as graduation from medical school) or he is not.  If he doesn't get tired of it, as RockRose says, it might take the death of his mother to change things.  He will certainly not get tired of it as fast as you do, so you have a decision to make.

My aunt's first husband had a mother who would stand behind his chair at mealtimes and cut his food for him.  This was AFTER they were married, when they would have a meal with her.  She didn't stay long.
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13167 tn?1327194124
It's not cute and considerate,  it's "failure to launch".  

The thing is,  they're in a very stable relationship.  She's not pushing him up and out,  and he's not pulling away.  After 3 years,  he's still not trying to pull away and create an adult life with you,  or even for himself as an individual.

Unless she dies,  Myriam,  this won't change.
Helpful - 0
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