I think that my boyfriend is really sexy. I mean that was the main reason I was attracted to him in the first place when we first met. We've been together for 3 years going on 4 and I've recently had a baby 3 months ago. I had to get cut so it took a while to heal and to be able to have sex again. I am now able to have sex but it's like my sex drive is gone. I want to want to have sex but it just seems like my body won't let me. I am on the depo shot as a birth control method and one of the side affects states that it lessens your sex drive. I am worried that he will keep feeling this way and step out on our relationship because of it. I have tried talking to him about this but he doesn't listen and he thinks what he wants to think. It makes me upset that he thinks I'm not attracted to him. What can I do to get my sex drive back?
Sometimes the best way to increase your sex drive is to have sex. The more you have, the more you want normally. Unless you are feeling physically uncomfortable getting intimate, I would at least try to initiate or at least reciprocate if he initiates. Ask him to take it slow and have plenty of foreplay. It may help to get you going even if initially you aren't quite in the mood due to hormonal reasons.
As the mother of 4 I completely understand! Having a new born is exhausting plus all the daily activities that you are faced with! Sex (at least for me) was the last thing I thought about as I dropped into bed at night! What did work for me to help speed up the process of getting my groove back was DATE NIGHTS! An adult night out (or in) no responsibilities for a few hours really did the trick... Have you tried something like that? Our hormones are just outta whack after we give birth but it all evens out! The last thing you should have to be worried about right now is him "stepping out." Relationships should be based on much more than that.Maybe send your bf a sexy text while he's at work "hi gorgeous, can't stop thinking about you." or whatever..lol you get the point! Anticipation can cause excitement for you both! Please keep us posted!
You two sound very young. How old is he; your bf? Does he "really" understand the changes a woman's body goes through in regards to pregnancy and childbearing? Perhaps you should give him some reading material and/or take him to your doctor's visits and that would give him a different idea of what's happening to you and then he might be more understanding about your situation. People so often underestimate these changes especially men.
Have you discussed this with your OB/GYN Specialist at all? If not, start dialoguing with your physician about this.
Sounds pure hormonal and this is not uncommon. You were also "cut"......that can affect the quality of sex too. Plus taking care of a newborn is exhausting in itself. Is he helping with the care of the baby?
Worrying about him "stepping out" on you shouldn't really be a concern unless the relationship has been or is unstable.
Meanwhile.......try the date nights as the above poster recommended (a night exclusive for ONLY you two), sexy notes or texts, cook him a favorite meal, tell him how "hot" he looks.......mostly anything to brush his ego. Men and their egos......their egos get bruised so easily. Maybe doing these things out of the bed will get your hormones up enough to want to get into the bed......know what I mean?
To Londres70 He does help take care of the baby when he isn't working. I talk to my doctor a few months ago and he said that it was ok for me to have sex again.
To ROSYouralright I've tried the date night stuff but he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything and makes excuses like we have to save money from the baby. He would rather watch a movie on the laptop, play the game, or watch videos on the ipad. So I've given up on trying date nights.
To thatquietgirl I've been trying to do it more often. My body just doesn't want to like I want to emotionally. Isn't there some type of stimulate drink or pills that I can take to boost my sex drive?
I second what Londres said: consult your physician before taking anything to "boost" your sex drive. Not only for your own sake but also for the baby's. If you are breastfeeding, anything you take into your body is potentially being given in some way to your baby.
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