Boyfriend's ex ...

[carebearmomma]

So my boyfriend's ex keeps texting him about how much she still loves him & that she has always loved him. This is after the fact she started all kinds of rumors & had people wanting to fight my boyfriend. She didn't want anything to do with him while she was with her last boyfriend until she broke up with him. My boyfriend has to talk to her & be some what nice due to her being the mother of his girls. She just now started lettin him visit with the girls after almost a year. Well we both would go over there because he doesnt like ring around her alone .... thinking she might come on to him and stuff but she has made many comments through text saying he needs to come over by himself. I would not be tell the truth if I said I wasn't worried about it but I don't let her know that it bothers me because that would just fuel the fire. Anyone have any advise or suggestions?

[mami1323]

All your boyfriend needs to do is go to court and establish visitation.  Therefore he can take the kids where ever he wants.  If she tries to stop him she will be in trouble for interferring with his visitation.  It's as simple as that.  

[carebearmomma]

Thanks y'all! I have been supportive & understanding about the whole thing, I guess I just needed confirmation in that I'm doing all I can do. I would never keep him from his children ever & I am so happy that he finally gets to visit with them again. I agree it is all about the babies & he is so good with them & they make him so happy.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Well, I still don't know what You could possibly do other than be supportive.  Irregardless of what She may or may not do, You need remain Strong and Supportive andUnderstanding to Him.  He's likely to be at Her mercy from now on as regards his Baby Girls - always remember, it's Him and those Baby Girls who are caught up in this.  You wouldn't want Him to give less Love or Attention to Them than to Your Baby - so, He's between a rock and a hard place for a long time to come - He needs to only Support and Understanding from You.  It truely is about the Babies - ALL 3 OF THEM.

Good Luck

[Londres70]

Sorry, posted before seeing your last post.  

Dear, let this be his problem.  I would simply let him deal with this; his battle to fight.  

I am not sure how she can "keep the children" away from him WITHOUT proper proof that he is an unfit father, etc.  Has LEGAL visitation been established?

[Londres70]

Do you not trust your bf to go by himself to her house?  I don't really see the need in you going over to her home.  Why can't he just pick up the children and take them to his home?

He doesn't trust being alone with her?  What's that supposed to mean?  Sounds like he doesn't trust himself around her.  

This is something for him to handle and not you.  He has to be the one to set the boundaries with the texting, etc.  This is his problem.  He can't unfortunately cut her off because she is the mother of his children.

You have to decide if this situation is worth sticking around or leaving.  

[carebearmomma]

I'm not worried about him being alone with her at all. And I understand they need one on one time with their father, I have no issue with that. She just makes me upset because she's nice to my face & then sends all these texts to him about being in love with him still & how she doesn't want the girls to have step parents & she just wants them to be a family. She is one of those people who will keep the kids away just because he doesn't want to be with her and I really don't want my boyfriend to go through that again. The girls are very young (still in diapers) & before anyone says it, yes i knew about them when we got together .... didn't have a problem with it then & I still don't. I'm more worried about him getting hurt because she will try to use the girls against him.

[TTinKKerBBell]

Is it Him being alone with Her that You are worried about??

If that's it, then You should ask YourSelf if You think He will only be faithful if You are present.  This is a good question in the sense that for the rest of Your life, You will be unable to be with Him EVERY moment.  Whether You trust other Women or not, You do need to trust Him.

I can understand why She might want Him to see His Daughters and spend time with Them without His GirlFriend present.  You don't say how old They are but I think they should have one on one time with Their Daddy.  I see nothing wrong with that.

This is His to deal with at this time.