Brains in their pants?

[KATE535]

I'm upset with my man !! So, we were watching TV last night and whilst flicking through channels, we stumbled on a programme called Sexcetra. We watched it as it was quite entertaining and thought it would be fun but obviously it was quite rude too - it was full of sexual content really. Anyway, although I am quite a jealous type with regards to my man, and I admit it to him all the time, like him looking at other women etc, usually bothers me, but we both thought 'oh what the hec' about watching this and carried on.
I noticed him shuffling about a lot during some of the scenes but thought nothing more of it - since they were not that explicit...
Then in the last five minutes I went to the bathroom. When I came back, he got up and left the room. When he eventually returned his 'bulge' was bigger than usual so finding it quite amusing I gave it a squeeze... only to find he had a relatively hard **** !!!!
I was offended, since I have to work him up quite a lot to get that sort of reaction.
I can't help but feel a bit cheated now... I'm really hurt actually.
I watched it for a laugh and a bit of entertainment with him but he obviously had other intentions...
Why are men like this? Stupid question I know, but why do they have brains in their pants?
I'm trying to work out if I'm over reacting... he basically had a hardon watching other women, I find that insulting and maybe it was my fault for us watching it but I didn't think THAT would happen...

[FredRhodes]

When we are born, our masculine G-spot nerves in our frenulum get cut off, along with some of our shaft skin, the ridged frenar band and all of our masculine labia, aka the foreskin,  during routine, ritual and religious circumcision. These nerves are for causing and sending sexual arousal signals back to the reproductive parts of our brains when physically stimulated, and cutting these nerves causes disuse atrophy(brain damage) to the corresponding brain parts. This causes our brain's visual centers to compensate(savantism) for the lack of physical nerve stimulation.

    Women complain that their intact fully innervated husbands climax too fast, so they cut off their prepuces as infants to make them take longer to climax after puberty. Women also claim that only human males are disease vectors for women, and also cut off their infant's prepuces to prevent mothers from damaging and causing infections to their son's prepuces because of misinformation on proper care and hygiene of the masculine prepuce only.

     As a long term psychological effect on the spirit of humanity, we begin to develop mass sexual dysfunctions leading to delusional thought processes. Now we must cause our own extinction because of the covenant curse of the viscous infant prepuce excision ritual sacrifice.

[FredRhodes]

When we are born, our masculine G-spot nerves in our frenulum get cut off, along with some of our shaft skin, the ridged frenar band and all of our masculine labia, aka the foreskin,  during routine, ritual and religious circumcision. These nerves are for causing and sending sexual arousal signals back to the reproductive parts of our brains when physically stimulated, and cutting these nerves causes disuse atrophy(brain damage) to the corresponding brain parts. This causes our brain's visual centers to compensate(savantism) for the lack of physical nerve stimulation.

    Women complain that their intact fully innervated husbands climax too fast, so they cut off their prepuces as infants to make them take longer to climax after puberty. Women also claim that only human males are disease vectors for women, and also cut off their infant's prepuces to prevent mothers from damaging and causing infections to their son's prepuces because of misinformation on proper care and hygiene of the masculine prepuce only.

     As a long term psychological effect on the spirit of humanity, we begin to develop mass sexual dysfunctions leading to delusional thought processes. Now we must cause our own extinction because of the covenant curse of the viscous infant prepuce excision ritual sacrifice.

[Jasmine205]

My bf gets hard at his work if we IM( he can't take calls but can use his Msnm) and I mention anything regarding marriage or pregnancy lol
Because his masturbation fantasies revolve around those things with me, odd, I know.
But guys have their little triggers and once triggered POW here comes the raging hard on :P
He shouldn't have lied, but most likely did because he knew he'd be upset and hurt by the truth of the situation. He was probably kinda embrassed you noticed too, don't you think?

Porn only occasionally will make me bf hard, but lots of times it does, he is thinking of ways to do me...so you don't know what exactly your bf was fantasing when watching that..

[treazzure007]

agreeing w/ sixstringer, use the opportunity whenever he's hard as an advantage- if you're in the mood.  shouldn't matter if it was the t.v., middle of the night, or when he's cold lol  don't think so hard and don't take it as an insult.  he probably only lied b/c he already knew it would offend you.  lighten up and give the guy a break

[SixStringer]

Advertisers and TV show producers (at least here in the U.S.) know what gets men interested, and that's why there's sexual content in much of it.  Of course, this show was beyond subtleties, since you both knew it had a strong sexual content.  As has been mentioned, your husband quite naturally got turned on by something that appealed to his sexual side.  You should not be surprised, as this is human nature and impossible to stop, once this response is triggered.  After the show, instead of trying to catch him in a lie, after you squeezed his hard-on, you could have taken advantage of the situation and given him a ******* or at least a handjob.  That way you could have made his reaction to the show a chance for you both to reap sexual profits, since you say that it is often difficult for you to get him excited.  

[slow_healer]

Seconding sammy73 and SunnySideUp. Not all people are built to only ever desire one person. You might work like this. Your husband might not. It doesn't mean he doesn't love or desire you. It means he's a human being.

IMO there's sort of a no-pressure part of watching (even not explicit) sexual scenes that helps men relax, resulting in becoming more easily aroused. It sounds like you two were doing just that - relaxing, watching TV, and watching something sexual. I think by getting angry with him you are reinforcing a barrier to honesty in your relationship. What's the point for him to try and even talk to you openly if you're going to internalize all of it? I bet if you asked him, he'd say it had nothing to do with you (beyond sitting on the couch with you, relaxing, and watching a sex program). Would you be able to believe that?

I suspect that your sex life with your husband could improve, but it would take a lot of honesty and respect for each other's feelings and desires. It could be that there's things your husband wants to try or share with you (at his own pace) but doesn't feel you'd (1) understand, or even worse (2) be furious with him for admitting to becoming aroused by something/one other than you. That's very difficult to maneuver in a spouse. Like sammy said, why did he feel he had to lie to you when he really didn't do anything wrong?

[SunnySideUp72]

You say you want to be ALL that he desires.  You are asking for the impossible.  He will be aroused by other things whether it be something he reads, see's on tv, or a thought he has.  You could be the sexiest most beautiful woman in the world and he is still going to be aroused by someone/something else.  Sammy stated it well in the above post and I agree with him completely.

[sammy73]

I know the program, seen it a few times.  The whole point of the program is to tittilate and excite, both for someone watching alone and for a couple watching together.  If he didn't at least start to get hard, the program would have failed in its purpose.  Frankly, if he wasn't turned on by it, I'd worry that he wasn't that interested in sex.

Yes, it was a bad thing that he lied.  But you have to ask yourself, why would he lie?  He didn't do anything fundamentallywrong by getting turned on by the show, so the only reason he would lie is because he was either embarrassed, or (more likely) because he thought it would upset you and/or cause a fight, and he didn't want that.  By your reaction, it looks like he was right, too.

Fact:  However much a man may love, fancy, be turned on by, and be committed to his girlfriend/wife/partner, he will still always be turned on by looking at other women's **** (well, straight men anyway.  And nice ****.).  ALL men.  There's nothing wrong with this, it doesn't mean we love our partners or fancy our partners any less, or intend to cheat on them, it's just the way we are.  I'd guess most women are the same, if they are honest with themselves, although their arousal is less visibly obvious.  If your boyfriend has to hide this from you, then neither of you are being honest with each other.

[KATE535]

So you can see how that was upsetting.
We've had many arguments about me feeling I want him more etc - he hardly ever instigates sex - I am always the one doing the initiating. And after a while you have to question why. I am not unattractive - there is no blatant reason he should be put off by me, so I evetually put it down to he has a lower sex drive. Then he gets a hardon from the tv!! It was a shock and a bit insulting.
And sometimes when certain problems from insecurities and old arguments arise again in some other form - like the insecurities I have had with his lack of interest in sex at times - it doesn't matter how trivial the problem (a hardon watching tv), - that's when all those insecurities come flooding back.
I want to be all he desires like he is to me, not some trashy women who flaunt themselves on tv.

[SunnySideUp72]

He shouldn't have lied about it, but think about it.....he knows that you are a jealous person so he knows that **** is going to fly if you admit to having a hard on from a tv show.  It's entirely possible that I am wrong about this but maybe your man is aroused more often than you are aware.  It sounds like maybe an open line of communication would be a good thing if it is taking so much work for you to arouse you man.

[KATE535]

Thanks for the comments. Perhaps I should have explained the story fuller -
I guess I was more annoyed that he denied it - I was p*ssed off he said it was his 'boxer shorts' to blame for how he was hung!!! I was like... do you think I was born yesterday? The lie was an even bigger insult to the hardon.
We did fall out over it - the argument was based quite a lot on how he lies to my face because he can't always handle a confrontation. I could've handled him suggesting he was thinking about me, but there was nothing like that...
It would have been easier to take advantage had he not scarpered away and denied there was any arousal at all.
I don't think it was overreacting because he can be a challenge to get turned on - I have to get physical with him for him to get really hard if you know what I mean. So it was a bit wierd to see it happen from another source.
I think Vance you have a typical image of a man getting aroused easily by anything to do with sex. My man is harder work than that so try to understand if your partner is like that how it feel that he is easily turned on by something on the TV.  

[mami1323]

I am a woman and totally agree with the men who just posted above.  You are really overreacting to this.  Men are visual creatures, they will get aroused by seeing sex on television.  Instead of getting jealous, get into it.  Since you had already grabbed it, you should have continued with it.  He was watching a tv show with YOU, at home with YOU.  Not out at a bar or with anyone else.  

[SunnySideUp72]

I think that instead of getting upset over your boyfriend getting a bit hard watching a tv show you should have taken advantage of it.  It's a normal reaction for men to get relatively hard while watching sex scenes.  I really think that you are over reacting.   Have you ever become aroused watching anything?  I am sure that at some point you have and he is no differernt.  It doesn't mean that he is any less attracted to you or loves you any less.  Take it from someone who's been there, jealousy will only push a loved one away....work it out and get it under control.

[Vance2335]

From a man's point of view. You are over reacting. Men get stimulated from all kinds of things, it could be an image or just a something they are thinking of. How do you know when he was watching the show he wasn't thinking of you?

I get stimulated from my wife, but if I see something on TV then I can get stimulated from that too, it's nature.