Break up with a toxic friend - how - best way?

I have an earlier post about wanting to break up with a friend and I got lots of great responses.  Here's the deal, I am basically a wimp.  I never tell people how I really feel - I will either avoid them or well, that's about it, I avoid them.  This woman was a friend for a few years, we had some fun times yet there were times when she criticized me, lied to me so she could have a date with a hot guy, or used me a therapist. She was like a tick sucking the life out of me but smiling the who time.

I don't have many friends because I move around a lot.  I am pretty easy to talk to and making friends aren't a problem for me.  I guess what I do is keep my distance.  Usually it works well except with this lady.  Over the past few months I've been backing away, not calling, not emailing, and I thought it out faulter out.  But she keeps in contact and  yesterday she sent me an email asking if we could get together for dinner.  The last person I was to be around is her.

What's the best and most mature way to break up - email or phone or letter?  Any conversation starters?????

[RockRose]

Are you asking people to copy and paste their responses to your same question from down the board?

[Trialanderror]

"You and I are a bad match these days. Let`s not waste anymore time." That`s what I would say - but of course that is not the polite way.
So just pick up the phone and explain to her that you have personally gone through a lot of changes and feel that you can not relate to the same things anymore that you used to enjoy together. Let her know that you will call her once you are done re-organizing your life. I think this is the way women deal with each other. Obviously it means nothing but "Back off and don`t call me. I`ll call you...maybe."

[mayflowers]

No, don't do that.  I'm just working up some courage and hoped I would get some good conversation starters...Trialanderrors were pretty good.

[barn babe]

How do you break up with men? The same way? Using avoidance? Just bail with no phone calls or discussions?  

I second what Trialanderror said. Pick a phrase and just use it. Practice using it if you have to. "We're growing apart."  "This isn't working." "We're not clicking anymore." "I'm not happy with how things have gone."   "I'm concerned about our relationship and think we need a break."  

Just pick something and say it. About the worst thing that could  happen is whoever  you tell will pull out a weapon and attack you.  :) I can't think of any worse outcome, can you? And clearly that won't happen. You can handle anything less than that, I'm sure.  

Good luck. Keep us posted.

[koukla29]

I don't know if you read my response to your previous thread, but please look at it because this is the way I confront people and it helps.  Confrontation is not easy but a necessary skill to have.  In addition, I like what Johnny wrote to you in your last thread.  Good luck!

[allee0481]

you know just my 2 cents, why don't you try to sound indifferent to her.  That way she may get the picture, that you longer care or that you don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. when she invites you to go out, just say "i'm busy, have lots of more valuable stuffs to do.  Sorry.  Just ask another friend."  do it every time and she'll sense the difference.  If she'll ask you "what's wrong?" "did I say something wrong?" kind of stuffs, just don't answer and tell her to stop pitching if she persists asking...

"Don't include me in your itinerary these days coz i'm busy. okay? thanks!" this line might help too.

Bottomline, IGNORE HER DELIBERATELY!  SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND.

hope she gets it.