Aa
Broke up with my boyfriend but we still see each other
I always wondered why he won't introduce me to his friends. Why he can't bring me out on dates where there are lots of people. I always thought that it would be okay as long as he would contact me, text me ,call me often.
He was really nice before we started our relationship. He'd stay up late and call me every day, he texts me all day and he picks me up and drops me off work and school.
When he became my boyfriend he gradually changed although he still is around. we always fight about why he doesn't text me back/call me back/ i can't even leave any message on his facebook wall. I got really upset when he deactivated his account and deleted my comment. Really. I was his girlfriend.
The day after that. I wanted to talk to him about it, It's always been the problem. He doesn't communicate with me. I've been very vocal about my problems but he just won't talk a lot. That night we broke up. I was crying the whole time. I asked him why he did that to me, Why can't he do something. HE told me that things were not the same anymore.
I went home devastated. I was depressed the whole week and we met again to talk about it. He said he is trying to look for his feelings but right then the answers weren't clear yet.
I'm still seeing him. I still want him back. But right now I'm nobody. I'm confused of how I should act around him, Should I text him. My role right now is very much pushed into a corner not like when I was his girlfriend. It ***** I still hope that we'd get back together. But everyday that I can't be his girlfriend is like a torture to me. I want him but he's not mine.
He was really nice before we started our relationship. He'd stay up late and call me every day, he texts me all day and he picks me up and drops me off work and school.
When he became my boyfriend he gradually changed although he still is around. we always fight about why he doesn't text me back/call me back/ i can't even leave any message on his facebook wall. I got really upset when he deactivated his account and deleted my comment. Really. I was his girlfriend.
The day after that. I wanted to talk to him about it, It's always been the problem. He doesn't communicate with me. I've been very vocal about my problems but he just won't talk a lot. That night we broke up. I was crying the whole time. I asked him why he did that to me, Why can't he do something. HE told me that things were not the same anymore.
I went home devastated. I was depressed the whole week and we met again to talk about it. He said he is trying to look for his feelings but right then the answers weren't clear yet.
I'm still seeing him. I still want him back. But right now I'm nobody. I'm confused of how I should act around him, Should I text him. My role right now is very much pushed into a corner not like when I was his girlfriend. It ***** I still hope that we'd get back together. But everyday that I can't be his girlfriend is like a torture to me. I want him but he's not mine.
i want to thank everyone for "enlightening" me and giving all the encouragement to move on.
I think you are already moving on. As you probably can see the general consensus here is suggesting you to do so. It's never easy because it affects you on an emotional level. Don't you prefer someone who communicates with you, someone who shows you the attention you deserve. Start looking for what you want. Like Matthew007 said men with character wouldn't continue to use you. When you find the right person you will realize how much your ex was lacking. Time to take care of yourself.
it's hard eh, I send him messages everyday . i didn't mind so much if he doesn't reply to them when we were still in the relationship. but now I can't even text him. it's difficult to take it out of my system..
well.. if he decided to stop the relationship then you have to respect that although.. I don't know..like if it was me I wouldn't still see the girl or use her in any way (sexually..) so.. I think that's pretty wrong on his part and shows his character right there.. he might be in the mode of thinking "oh well I'll get all the action I can while I can" sort of thinking (which is really wrong..)
I know you still love him but trust me there are a TON of guys out there who wish they could cuddle/snuggle..heck even go on a date (like moi.. I'm dealing with IBS/anxiety issues so it's real embarrassing...but I haven't been on a date for like since May...and I WANT to.. but it's hard..)
but anyway it's going to be hard but you can and do deserve better..hopefully you can find a guy who wants to be with you..and doesn't use you like he is now :S Sorry to hear that.. :( took a long time to get over my last GF...
I know you still love him but trust me there are a TON of guys out there who wish they could cuddle/snuggle..heck even go on a date (like moi.. I'm dealing with IBS/anxiety issues so it's real embarrassing...but I haven't been on a date for like since May...and I WANT to.. but it's hard..)
but anyway it's going to be hard but you can and do deserve better..hopefully you can find a guy who wants to be with you..and doesn't use you like he is now :S Sorry to hear that.. :( took a long time to get over my last GF...
its's been about 3 weeks since we broke up. there's is still pain and I won't deny that i still cry. But every morning I brush it off and do whatever I need to do starting with my priorities like getting the grades to get into my dream faculty.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I agree with everyone here. Sweetie, some guys like the chase. He seems to be that type. He was 'great' before you started sleeping with him. Then not so much. Then, things weren't the same anymore. Maybe that isn't the case and he saw through spending time with you that it wasn't working for him and you were getting more and more attached. It is right for someone to break up with someone else when that is the case.
However, he keeps contacting you and having sex with you. Which brings me back to the fact that I wonder if he was ever really interested in a real relationship. Doesn't sound like it. And now he is most likely just using you.
So, wise advice already given and I've added my own two cents which is basically the same thing. DO stop sleeping with him and move on. And it is always a red flag when someone doesn't take you out or socialize with you and the other people in their life. good luck
However, he keeps contacting you and having sex with you. Which brings me back to the fact that I wonder if he was ever really interested in a real relationship. Doesn't sound like it. And now he is most likely just using you.
So, wise advice already given and I've added my own two cents which is basically the same thing. DO stop sleeping with him and move on. And it is always a red flag when someone doesn't take you out or socialize with you and the other people in their life. good luck
Amethyst, I really think you should HIGHLY consider not having anymore sex with this guy. I've read some of your other posts stating you had a close call in regards to pregnancy. If you get pregnant by this guy you will be feeling the pain you are feeling now 100x more. I am sure he will not stick around to help you raise the child.
Walk AWAY while you can and don't look back.
Get through the pain and hurt by pouring yourself into activities you enjoy and spending time with your family/friends.
Walk AWAY while you can and don't look back.
Get through the pain and hurt by pouring yourself into activities you enjoy and spending time with your family/friends.
We stop FEELING like a victim when we stop BEING a victim
You seem to be listening to the advice given You here. That is good. That being said, we all understand heartache and heartbreak. Most of us have had that in our own lives - hence the advice.
GoodLuck
Maybe I'll learn from this experience. Part of why I couldn't let him go was because I just introduced him to my family and he bails out 4 weeks after that. I can't describe how happy I was when he "finally" agreed to have lunch in my place. It's the crushing feeling that I was really sticking out for him but he can't stand up for me.
that's all I wanted too. For him to let the world know I'm his girlfriend. I never asked him to buy me expensive stuffs, or go out on dates, or do the sweet cuddly stuffs that a girlfriend would like. All i wanted was his time to spend with me. And he just can;t give them to me.
i met his family and he met mine too. Probably a reason why I he hasn't introduced me to his friends because they all have habits of drinking and smoking. That doesn't matter now anyway since we broke up.
we've been together for roughly a year and a half. Im 24 he's 23. We used to work in the same place and that's how it all started.
every one is helping me out a lot.
I do feel like he's sticking around for the pleasure. And I can't answer why I want him back. I've been wrapping my head around the idea that i'd also be better off not seeing him anymore. But right now I still can't let go.
He's my first boyfriend. And I have this grand idea that I would never want to be with someone else. I can say that's a fairy tail that wouldn't come true for me anymore.
I better start letting go before I hurt myself even more.
thanks everyone
I do feel like he's sticking around for the pleasure. And I can't answer why I want him back. I've been wrapping my head around the idea that i'd also be better off not seeing him anymore. But right now I still can't let go.
He's my first boyfriend. And I have this grand idea that I would never want to be with someone else. I can say that's a fairy tail that wouldn't come true for me anymore.
I better start letting go before I hurt myself even more.
thanks everyone
"would you recommend that I stay away from him? I'm afraid he wouldn't come back."
He would be doing you a HUGE favor if he disappeared and never came back! He should get lost and stay lost!
It's extremely suspicious that he won't introduce you to his friends or allow you to post on his Facebook. He is keeping you hidden from everyone. You know what that means? Either he already has a real girlfriend or else he is ashamed of admitting he was "dating" you. A guy who truly loves you and truly wants to be with you would want everyone to know and everyone to meet you because he would want to brag about how lucky he is to have such an amazing girlfriend. This guy kept you a secret the entire time! That's not a relationship! Not by any stretch of the imagination.
And the fact that he is using you for booty calls yet refuses to commit means that only sees you as a playtoy and not as a girlfriend. There's a huge difference. There's a Grand Canyon sized difference between how you see this "thing" and how he sees it. He doesn't think about you or care about you at all until he needs to get laid and that's the only reason he keeps you around.
You should have much higher standards. You should never allow any guy to use you for sex and keep you a secret from everyone in his life. Any guy you date should want his friends and family to know you. This guy is a shmuck and the longer you let him use you, the more you are letting yourself hold on to hope for something that will never happen. You need to put a stop to this. Never contact him again and change your number. Gather what little self respect you have left and move on. This guy is not for you!
He would be doing you a HUGE favor if he disappeared and never came back! He should get lost and stay lost!
It's extremely suspicious that he won't introduce you to his friends or allow you to post on his Facebook. He is keeping you hidden from everyone. You know what that means? Either he already has a real girlfriend or else he is ashamed of admitting he was "dating" you. A guy who truly loves you and truly wants to be with you would want everyone to know and everyone to meet you because he would want to brag about how lucky he is to have such an amazing girlfriend. This guy kept you a secret the entire time! That's not a relationship! Not by any stretch of the imagination.
And the fact that he is using you for booty calls yet refuses to commit means that only sees you as a playtoy and not as a girlfriend. There's a huge difference. There's a Grand Canyon sized difference between how you see this "thing" and how he sees it. He doesn't think about you or care about you at all until he needs to get laid and that's the only reason he keeps you around.
You should have much higher standards. You should never allow any guy to use you for sex and keep you a secret from everyone in his life. Any guy you date should want his friends and family to know you. This guy is a shmuck and the longer you let him use you, the more you are letting yourself hold on to hope for something that will never happen. You need to put a stop to this. Never contact him again and change your number. Gather what little self respect you have left and move on. This guy is not for you!
....and You love Him why??
Specifically, what are the REASONS You love Him? What does He do to merit Your love? In my opinion He doesn't sound worthy of that devotion from You.
It sounds like He is using You for a booty call and that, my dear, is NOT love. Love does not make one "feel like a nobody". You need to think more of YourSelf than that and if You cannot do that with Him then You need a BoyFriend who sees Your worth
GoodLuck
Specifically, what are the REASONS You love Him? What does He do to merit Your love? In my opinion He doesn't sound worthy of that devotion from You.
It sounds like He is using You for a booty call and that, my dear, is NOT love. Love does not make one "feel like a nobody". You need to think more of YourSelf than that and if You cannot do that with Him then You need a BoyFriend who sees Your worth
GoodLuck
How long have you two been together? How old is he?
"I always wondered why he won't introduce me to his friends. Why he can't bring me out on dates where there are lots of people. I always thought that it would be okay as long as he would contact me, text me ,call me often.".......Sounds like he is sticking around for the sex and you were never really a gf. Gfs are usually introduced to friends and family over time and taken out to public places to be seen.
Dear, I know this is hurtful, but he doesn't care about you. Don't text, call, etc. Let this one go. Don't let him use you because that's what you are doing when you continue to "see him."
"I want him but he's not mine."............Profound words with loads of truth. You may want him, but you don't need him or deserve this.
"I always wondered why he won't introduce me to his friends. Why he can't bring me out on dates where there are lots of people. I always thought that it would be okay as long as he would contact me, text me ,call me often.".......Sounds like he is sticking around for the sex and you were never really a gf. Gfs are usually introduced to friends and family over time and taken out to public places to be seen.
Dear, I know this is hurtful, but he doesn't care about you. Don't text, call, etc. Let this one go. Don't let him use you because that's what you are doing when you continue to "see him."
"I want him but he's not mine."............Profound words with loads of truth. You may want him, but you don't need him or deserve this.
would you recommend that I stay away from him? I'm afraid he wouldn't come back. I think I'd be okay if he didn't but it might take a while before it would sink in to me.
well yeah.. i'm guilty on that and i try not to. I'm definitely not thinking about the right way. That's why I need help and opinions.
I really love him.
I really love him.
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