Aa
Broke up
So I broke up with my bf he was abusive and stuff an it's so hard right now yeah I know stay busy and it takes time but that's not enough I'm goin crazy and it hurts a lot
Not all boys are abusive. If one is so, go away, take some time (but not too long) to recover, and scramble for a new one who will help you get past through it and set you for a brand-new life. You're still 16, your peak hasn't come yet but don't let it come with yourself still being traumatic by that.
COMMUNITY LEADER
One thing that helps is to picture a female that you really LOVE. Your mother, a cousin, a little sister ------------- picture sitting beside them and then picture your ex's most abusive moments taken out on them! What would you do? You'd protect them. You'd encourage them to NOT be with this abusive guy. Okay, so------------ that loved one you picture is really you and you should love yourself enough to have that same anger you felt against someone abusing your loved one if it is you being abused!
Also, make a list of the bad times------------- then during a weak moment, READ IT. Our mind plays tricks on us and starts to minimize those bad times. Don't let that happen. Keep them fresh to keep yourself strong.
Love at your age does often hurt. Strong emotions that you are just learning to deal with. Do you have anyone you feel would be good to talk about this with? If your mom is not a good option, what about an aunt or someone like that? Oh, wait--------- yes, you do see a counselor. That is good, but build your circle of support too.
Then, make a list of all the things YOU want to do. Get straight A's and go to college should be on the list. But all the fun stuff too-------- have a strong group of girl friends, join some clubs (year book is always fun), exercise on a regular basis, any particular interests (art, writing, music, sports, etc.)----------- throw yourself into all of these things and build your self esteem up. Build up your own identity. This will help you the rest of your life.
Hey, I'm proud of you for not being with this guy. Take one day at a time. You've learned a lesson that will help you in the future----------- this is that dating is for finding out what you need to know to take the relationship to the next level. If someone shows themselves to be abusive, they do not qualify. It is so smart to recognize this. I wish you all the luck and know break ups really do hurt. Peace.
Also, make a list of the bad times------------- then during a weak moment, READ IT. Our mind plays tricks on us and starts to minimize those bad times. Don't let that happen. Keep them fresh to keep yourself strong.
Love at your age does often hurt. Strong emotions that you are just learning to deal with. Do you have anyone you feel would be good to talk about this with? If your mom is not a good option, what about an aunt or someone like that? Oh, wait--------- yes, you do see a counselor. That is good, but build your circle of support too.
Then, make a list of all the things YOU want to do. Get straight A's and go to college should be on the list. But all the fun stuff too-------- have a strong group of girl friends, join some clubs (year book is always fun), exercise on a regular basis, any particular interests (art, writing, music, sports, etc.)----------- throw yourself into all of these things and build your self esteem up. Build up your own identity. This will help you the rest of your life.
Hey, I'm proud of you for not being with this guy. Take one day at a time. You've learned a lesson that will help you in the future----------- this is that dating is for finding out what you need to know to take the relationship to the next level. If someone shows themselves to be abusive, they do not qualify. It is so smart to recognize this. I wish you all the luck and know break ups really do hurt. Peace.
Thanks so much it means a lot. I'm also 16 so it's hard for me to trust people now like we dated for a year and a half and even though it wasn't that long he pushed himself into my life he made me make him be my life if that makes sense. Now I have lost myself and i am going to a counselor an that does help but I'm scared to find out who I really am
If the abuse along isn't a reason to feel "good riddance", I am not for sure what is. There should be some feeling of relief knowing that the abuse is over, is there not? There is no need to tolerate abuse of any kind, at any level. Abuse is abuse, and your life and health are worth so much more than to sit and risk everything on someone who doesn't worship the ground you walk on. This is your life and you call the shots, and stepping away from the situation is a perfect first step! A lot of people are too afraid to leave an abusive relationship, so kudos to you for that! Your headed in the right direction!
Anything to keep your mind busy.... posting here for instance is a good way to keep yourself occupied, but also get some things off your chest and some valuable advice to boot. Something else to consider is a support group for women who've been in abusive relationships. Quite often, talking with someone who's been down the same roads you've been down brings a bit of relief..... you'll also find so many similarities between your situation and those of others.
Don't be afraid to talk with your doctor as well. He/she may be able to point you in the right direction to finding a support group or even a therapist. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing about this. You've already got the ball rolling, so good for you!
Anything to keep your mind busy.... posting here for instance is a good way to keep yourself occupied, but also get some things off your chest and some valuable advice to boot. Something else to consider is a support group for women who've been in abusive relationships. Quite often, talking with someone who's been down the same roads you've been down brings a bit of relief..... you'll also find so many similarities between your situation and those of others.
Don't be afraid to talk with your doctor as well. He/she may be able to point you in the right direction to finding a support group or even a therapist. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing about this. You've already got the ball rolling, so good for you!
It will hurt alot more if you stay with this guy,you can get through this,stay strong and positive,one day you will look back on this day and think why did i ever put myself through all this grief for such a waste of space.
Sometimes it takes a couple of splits for a boy to understand why abusive is bad. Don't make it discourage you from scrambling for a better one :)
Hang in there sweetheart. No need to go back to abuse. It will get better over time. I can promise you this.
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