Can't get on my feet after break up..can't open up....31 and still single.

[rockyIII]

Hello,

I broke up my girlfriend of four years, 4 months ago. We had different needs and ideas in relationship and I think the break up was the smartest way to resolve the issue. Two months ago, I met a girl who had everything I always wanted. She is gorgeous, smart, intelligent, passionate and whats the most important good person. For the first two weeks I was so int her, happy and passionate looking forward new future.Then the fire started to fade to the point that about week ago I told her that we have to stop seeing each other. I just stopped feeling her. That was my decision because i respect feelings she started to develop towards me. Why can't I open up and fall in love??? is she just not the one or I simply cannot open up? I really would like to be with her but I just can't feel something deeper. The first few weeks was were so perfect. I still think about my old relationship even if there were more arguments than love more getting use to each other. I am also so very depressed and feel that I will not meet anybody and will never fall in love and and up being alone. I feel old. I am already 31 smart, good looking educated man but most of my friends already have someone or have family. It also seems to me that I am very lost in my life after this break up and I cant find myself.

Thank You for all of your responses.

[Judy246]

The world is your oyster!!! The reason you aren't feeling it, is because she or they are not the one. It's nice to have all those great qualities, but she is simply not the one. What I recommend is that you simply date and make it clear that it is not an exclusive committed relationship, until you feel a spiritual bond and your heart will know when she is the one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are still young, so go out and date all you want until you find that special someone who you will connect with. Also, your first relationship broke up for a reason, so don't settle for less, just because you feel lonely, in other words move forward not backwards. Right now, take time to just think, reflect and what it is you need, surround yourself with good friends, family and a positive environment. Find what you like to do and go for it, for example, running, jogging, working out, take a night class, which is a great way to meet people, take a dancing class, take care of your appearance and make sure to do what you have to do to feel good about yourself and move forward with our life, because when you least expected, that wonderful, beautiful lady is right around the corner, waiting to meet you.  It will be alright and I promise you that you are still young enought to not only kick start your life, but find that right woman for you.  Good Luck, Judy

[rockyIII]

Thank you Judy. I read your wisdom post few times. You gave me hope. Thank you so much.

[Judy246]

There is always hope. The best thing God made was one day after another and you are still young. Appreciate the good qualities in yourself, take care of the self and everything else will fall into place. There is a season for everything and just date without commitment until it feels right and no rush...you have your whole life ahead of you.  Judy