Cheating

[Query001]

In my opinion, cheats always seem to prosper. Does anyone else agree?
They get to string along two women for a while then pick which one to go for or when uncovered they persuade one of them to stay with them.
They are then in a tried and tested relationship while the woman that has been cheated on is left back at square one.
So do you guys agree, "cheats prosper?"

[SeriousSam]

If you expand that to be either sex, then I'd definitely agree.  Heck a good definition for that phrase women use "special friend"  is in case of relationship implosion upgrade special frien immediately!

But yes cheaters seem to prosper and just as many women (though the number is increasing all the time) cheat.  And women seem to prosper at this more than guys.

[Judy246]

Sorry, I disagree. Neither gender ever never win and perceptions of this in the eyes of the beholder. There is no win in a situation where someone is aware that their behavior is having a negative emotional effect on someone else. Both gender are prone to infidelity if  they are opportunitist, so no one really wins. Although they think they can have their cake and it too, everything that is done intentionally and in secret will eventually come to light. I also belive in Karma, what goes around comes around and one day or sooner or later, it will catch up to them and they will also one day experience the feeling of rejection by someone. Cheater's do have a conscience and one day when they are dumped or alone, they will remember that one person that they hurt and will regret it and it will be too late to apologize for the pain they caused.

[mami1323]

I do think that no one wins in that situation. Yeah the cheater may get lucky and get to stay with the person they cheated on but to win back trust and to live with the pain they caused is a difficult place to be in. If they stay with the one they cheated with there will always be doubt that the cheater will do it to that person because they did it with them. Trust is broken somewhere. The cheater will always live in guilt and lies. I don't think its a happy place.

[Query001]

I guess the question is to whether they will ever be alone to think as they will be trying to arrange amazing things to do to repair the relationship they have and do they actually care what pain they caused? After all, they must have know what they were doing would cause pain.

[Judy246]

Absolutely, with life experience and maturity as life goes along, they will remember the one person they hurt. One day they will be old and who knows...alone, and will remember. Also, they knew what they were doing was wrong and didn't care at the time, but we all have a conscience that one day will catch up to us.

[mami1323]

I think people do live in regret.  Prime example, my first love started cheating on me with a girl at his job.  Well we broke up, not because I found out but because he was hanging out all the time and I just got fed up with him coming home at all hours of the morning and so I ended it.  When my attempts at trying to get back with him were rejected, he finally told me he was seeing someone.  Well about 2 years passed and he invited me to his birthday party, his girl was absent for that party, well he told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that his girlfriend was a b!tch and that he regreted hurting me.  I didn't feel the same anymore and told him we made good friends.  He's still with that girl even to this day but they have both cheated on each other and had to go through extensive therapy.  She to this day always wonders if we had slept together after they started their relationship.  So she wanted him, she got him and the tables turned on her.  After 10 years of them being together she still thinks about me.  That's Karma!!!!  In my current relationship, my fiance had an affair.  When I found out I kicked him out.  The day I found out he realized that his world just fell apart.  He almost lost me and his son and for what, this woman that he really didn't want to be with.  So when I kicked him out he felt it even more.  What it would be like without me.  Still now a year later we have our ups and downs and wishes that I would just "get over it" and pays for what he did.  The lack of trust I have and the fact that no matter how much he tries I will still have this in the back of my mind.  He feels the pain and especially feels it when he sees how much he's hurt me and how close he came to losing his family.  There will be a time when the cheater realizes what they do and how it hurts.  Some feel it sooner than others but Judy is right.  After a while it catches up to them.

[jo929]

That is a very good question, and i agree with Serious Sam. that it includes both women and men, and to a certaiin point they do prosper,some regret it, some others do not I personally do not beleive that one should cheat while in a marriage, but it is done every day, and has been for many long years by some i have seen people cheta and act as if it is nothing,they think no more of it than changing clothes every day   jo

[teko]

Who wants a cheat? Man or Woman?  I mean, it may be a temporary turn on and ego booster but in the long run? If ya cheat with em then yer gonna cheat on them, eventually. All the substance that it takes to make up a truly lasting relationship is missing. Without it what holds you together when the next hot body comes a flirtin. And they will too! What makes us think the hormones will not win over then too?  I would rather live by myself than go thru that kind of life.

[iam1butterfly]

I think that the perception that the cheater "prospers" is a false one because the very act of cheating is, essentially, a manifestation of some form of failure, flaw or weakness. So, to envision any kind of failure as prospering seems rather... contradictory.

[jo929]

what i meant by prosper, one example is that one woman said she married her husband for finacial reasons and not love she cheated 5 of the 8 years, she still had a roof food clothing, so i call that prosper, but maybe i misunderstood the post and answered wrong but the word prosper to me means gain in some way  jo

[megochick101]

I think maybe they prosper while it's happening(like during the affair) because they get their cake and eat it too(on a side note where the heck did that saying come from? anytime i have cake, real cake i mean of course I'm gonna eat it, i'm not just gonna sit there look at it :) lol) anyways, I do agree that they seem to prosper during the affair but in the end they'll get theirs, if there's any justice in this world at least, and I completely agree in karma biting them in the bum...and hopefully it a good long deep bite too :)

[dawnangela]

some ppl do care about the pain they caused and live everyday dealing with it and mending their relationship with their spouse..their guilt with them for a life time, Relationships can and do survive this, you can get back to a happy place...Prosper...maybe..

[whatiswrongwithhim]

They also know that there is very little chance that they will be left empty handed and I think to do it must mean that they have a high guilt threshold.

[dawnangela]

Yes i agree some have little chance of being  left empty handed, but not all will do it again, and with whom it is that the relationship ends up with they will both have to work very hard at gaining respect and trust again..But i get how devastating this would be for the one left empty handed for sure..

[whatiswrongwithhim]

I think that the devastation is very great - it is not like an normal break up which hurts anyway.