Cheats

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and I have yesterday discovered that he has, for the last 8 months been cheating on me. I know, he knows and the other lady doesnt. I have a dossier of texts that shows he has continued our relationship whilst telling her that he is single and free. She has kids who I believe he has met. I want to tell the other woman I exist to force him to make his mind up or else he will continue to hop between each of our beds.

Shall I tell her and hope she dumps him too or just tell him to p%ss off and move on??

[Ladybug680]

I would tell the other woman first, and then tell him that you two are over. So, maybe in the end, he won't have you or her.

[jo929]

what good would it do if you to tell her, it would just be revenge, but if i did tell her, i would not take him back, i do hope you are not still living with him, he may get the idea he can get away with anything  luck  jo

[SeriousSam]

Your basically just wanting to shae the pain since you two were DATING not married and in the end she got more of a committment out of him than you right?  You were both single so don't spend any more time on him walk away and grow up!

What gets with this is if a guy did this stuff he'd be considered psycho!

[FMG1976]

Sam - I dont understand your comments. Clearly you are a man. We were not technically married but were living together and had made a commitment to each other. He doesnt yet know who he wants a commitment with and I dont want him to be able to continue to play us both off against each other any longer. I want us all to know so that we can move forwards. We are going out again on Wed and I dont want to be part of a love triange with only two parties knowing the truth.

[imanaddict]

I have to go at this from what I would do. I would tell the other woman, and not because of "revenge" or anything like that, but because she has a right to know! She is being cheated on as well and is being lied to by a man who already has a commitment to someone else. He is playing both of you for a fool. The other woman has children who you think he has met. Their interest should also be taken into consideration because if he's getting involved in their lives, their mother needs to at least know what kind of man she has brought into the home and around her kids. Hopefully in the end he will get what he deserves.

I wish you all the best!

[dimples09]

Sweetie you can tell her if its going to make you feel better but don't think thats gonna make him stop being with them. He's a dog, now you can live with that if thats the choice you decide to make but know that you would probably never have him to yourself completely. You don't have to take being a number unless you want to. Why don't you make the choice for him and kick him out and find a new man thats going to respect and choose you also. Get rid of the piece of sh**. Remeber if you keep him you choose to take on anything that comes with this choice and if you bi** about it, it was your choice.
Do whats best for you.
Good Luck!!

[KATE535]

I agree with what imanaddict was saying completely.
Tell the other unsuspecting woman - there's children involved so the issue is more sensitive. It would be a shame for them to become attacted in any way to this man who is being with this way with their mother. And for your sake, don't put up with this any longer. He doesn't deserve a committed partner like you. He deserves to be dumped by both you ladies.
Tell Her.
Dump Him.

[teko]

Depends on what you expect to get out of the situation. If it is revenge based to get even with him, it is just as wrong as his cheating. If it is to spare the woman the pain that you are feeling then I could understand that. However, I do agree that it would appear that it would be more of a control/revenge action if you are still in the arrangement with this guy. You should leave first, end it with him and then contemplate telling her. Even if he broke it off with her and stayed with you, the trust factor or core of the relationship is broken. In your eyes he is in a committed relationship, in his eyes it is dating with benefits.  The only true committment for life is when a guy says hey, lets make it legal. Kind of the perfect situation of having benefits of marriage until meeting someone else? The expectations in this kind of relationship are not thought out.

[mami1323]

I agree with teko and imanaddict.  She has a right to know that the man she's with is unfaithful to her as well.  But you need to do it because you feel like she deserves to know and not in hopes she will leave him and you and him can live happily ever after.  He needs to be the one to make the decision or you both make the decision for him by leaving him.  

[Nutkin]

Personally being on the other end of not knowing when your partner was married and there wife knew all alone and did nothing ,changed my life completely and not for the better trust me, finding out your with a married man is devastating and hurtful and if children are involved its even worse, my advise is tell her then she has the option which way she wants to go and you know where you will stand too

[vmvnpv]

I, too, would tell her.  It's only fair to her AND her kids.  It's not fair that he is stringing you along.  Plus another woman and her family.  Those kids deserve a better role model than him and a more stable life that he obviously wouldn't be able to provide.  Chances are he's going to cheat on you and her again if either of you stay with him.  Tell her and then walk away from him.  Both you and his other girlfriend deserve better, as do the kids.

[SeriousSam]

If you know the person your with is being the player your not being strung along, you are being led, and to be led anywhere YOU chose to follow and keep up the BS!

[Kanela]

Take my advice. Invite the other woman in your house and have a nice dinner. Basically you are setting up both of them. Give him a chance to explain things in front of the other woman. After that he has to make a choice. Then if he choose you. DUMP HIS *** OFF!!!

[Nutkin]

I some  what  agree with you serious Sam, but never thought of it like that!  bad idea about inviting around for dinner do you really think  woman’s going to go anyways without thinking some things strange, Being mature about it and not nasty towards the other woman is the right way and what you choose to do with his sorry *** is a different thing, again she not to blame for his lies and BS.

[SeriousSam]

You outlined a really good episode for violence with two women trying to kill each other!  Isn't that creating a bit of drama for a lady who has been all but dumped in fact?